HIS HONOUR RESERVES HIS DECISION

Press, Volume LXXV, Issue 22805, 2 September 1939, Page 19

HIS HONOUR RESERVES HIS DECISION

lx rrf is a case, your Honour,” I said counsel for the plaintiff ! >, ' (MrL. A. W. McKorkinshaw), iSn which my client, a sharebroker, for redress from the .borough council, as the local body ' Controlling traffic in this area, for 1&129 19s 3Jd, by way of damages. It is an unusual case, if your Honour i pleases, and, I submit, an important rjpne in the public interest.” ;» “Silence!” cried the court crier, ;|dr a small group was whispering the back of the court.

f|; “The short facts of my client’s [lclaim, may jt please your Honour, Ffjare as follows:—My client was, on gAugust 14 last, just after noon, drivimg home for his lunch in his car. &As he went down Sawdust avenue !|Jte was forced to stop, as 13 other fears in front of him, | while -*a aific officers of the borough |Council’ asked drivers to produce warrants of fitness. “Not to put too fine a point on it,” counsel "Not.- to put too fine a point on ? tirhat?” asked his Honour. was just coming to that,” said ViPpkel, slightly * aggrieved. “To ai long story short, then,” he i continued, “the plaintiff was de-i-iJgyedf 10 minutes for his lunch. he got there, sir, tc use an nursery rhyme expression with f your Honour is doubtless the cupboard was bare. to say * my client’s wife. I might describe as a woman jfefi* uncertain temperament, ’ if your |«onour pleases ” have nothing to do with the IS&tter, Mr McKorkinshaw,” said his Irffijwjur with a bleak smile. nSj.v 5 your Honour thinks fit, sir,” IjgrPncd counsel. “But in any case, at my client’s late arrival, iyyhch delayed her leaving for golf. lllitcleared the dinner off |i|P® table. My client, sir, is a big -and, a man -of hearty .appetite. Kiß** 1 submit that this unexpected ||pßS-o_f his lunch led to a considerBMWP- amount of mental ’anguish’. is assessed pt 11s 3d in the BSSsptncnt of claim, sir. ■bhllx -' (

(BPECIAU.T WRITTEN FOR THE PRESS.) [By L. R. HOBBS.] ‘‘To continue, sir, through what we claim was this unwarranted delay of time caused by the borough council,” counsel went on, “what is generally known as ‘words’ took place between plaintiff and his wife. Very regrettably, sir, this wrangle, if I may use the term, so developed that at its end my client’s wife so far forgot herself as to throw the fry-ing-pan at my client. The aim was bad—or perhaps good for my client, if your Honour will permit me to say so.” “Very humorous indeed,” said his Honour bleakly, gazing at the ceiling with a frown.

“It missed my client, went through the kitchen window, breaking it, knocked down the parrot’s cage, killing the bird, and continued over the fence, finally breaking nine panes in a neighbour’s glass-' house, and completely ruining two vegetable marrows and a cucumber, all of which were being especially groomed for the National -Horticultural Show. Furthermore, sir, the sudden breaking of so much glass so startled a neighbour’s wife that she fainted, leaving an electric iron 'switched on. The iron set fire to the curtains and tire house. Before the fire brigade finally put the outbreak out damage amounting to £29 14s 7d had bepn done. “So upset, your Worship,” he continued. “I protest, Mr McKorkinshaw. You may Honour me if you please, but you may not Worship me,” said his Honour, frigidly. “I beg your Honour’s pardon,” said counsel. “So upset, your Honour, was my client that after all this, when my client returned to work he inadvertently sold backward some 900 mining shares whjch he had intended to sell forward, thereby involving himself in a financial loss for-the day of £l7 6s 3d. “The parrot, too, if your Honour pleases.. Xt. was. rather, an .unusual, bird. It was a remarkable mimic of Mr Semple. This must surely have adfied to its value.” “Did the bird, then, talk of bulldozers?” asked his Honour.

“It did, Sir, and it could say scroungers with such a likeness to the original as to make your mouth water.” “My moiith never waters,” said his Honour. “I beg your Honour’s pardon,” said counsel. “Oh, it’s not your fault,”- said his Honour magnanimously. “Well, anyway, your Honour, that’s the plaintiff’s case,” said counsel ending his address. Counsel called in evidence his client, his client’s wife, the nextdoor neighbour, the. superintendent of the Fire Brigade, and the chairman of the Stock Exchange. “The facts in the case-are admitted,” said Mr Archibald • Tort, counsel for the council. “But the whole thing is fantastic, ridiculous, bizarre, and" on the very face of it a barefaced attempt to intimidate officers of a local body doing a very necessary duty.” “With your Honour’s permission I will apply for a non-suit on this ground: that the plaintiff himself is tire cause of the affair. He is* one of the electors of the council, and thus responsible for the acts of his local body. For that authority, your Honour, I refer to Bailsbury’s Common Law for Uncommon People, pages 21 to 23, inclusive.” “You’ll have to lend me your copy .then.” said his Honour. “That page is out of my copy now. These import restrictions on matches, you know.” . • “Actually, I don’t need to call any witnesses for the defence,” he said. “This case speaks for itself,” added Mr Tort. “It doesn’t get much chance with you and' Mr McKorkinshaw about,” said his Honour wearily. “Is that so? I mean, just as your Honour pleases,” put in Mr Tort with a painful smile. His Honour: You’re telling me. “In any cast,” said Mr Tort,/‘this action is frivolous. The other day the traffic inspectors put an orange tab on the windscreen of my car just to show they had seen the war-' rant. Mine is a new streamlined car, and as you know, your Honour, ‘a thing of beauty is a joy for ever.’ ” “What case are you quoting there, Mr Tort?” asked his Honour. "A judgment of Keats, J.. reported in the Police Gazette, 1822,” said Mr Tort. “But to go on, how can a car be a thing of beauty with an orange tab on its windscreen? That man—myself, your Honour—had an equal cause for action, surely, sir? Anyway, I ask for a non-suit.” “The Court will? take time-to consider its decision,” said his Honour. A decision is expected shortly, although it is known that some difficulty has been experienced by the learned Judge in reading his notes, all of which were written in a kind of judicial Pitman’s with a fountain pen with np ink in it,