A GAME TWO CAN PLAY

Press, Volume LXXIV, Issue 22443, 2 July 1938, Page 19

A GAME TWO CAN PLAY

(SPJtCHX.LT WRITTEN FOB TH* PRfcSS.) [By TABXTHA TOOGOOD.] Bewildered, i looked from Emma, the cook, to Ada, the housemaid, and then back again. “Mind you,” Emma was saying, “we have nothing to complain about here, and we are only going because we want to better ourselves.”

“And we are perfectly willing to give you a reference . . .” “A reference?” I queried. “Yes, certainly any future employee would wish to see references from her predecessors.” “I see, and do you want references from me?” “Yes,” Emma was not enthusiastic, “perhaps it might be as well, though I don’t suppose we shall ever need them.”

“Will it do if Cook writes your reference and we both sign it?” Ada asked.

“No,” I felt vindictive, “I insist on having a reference from each of you if you each want a reference from me.”

Emma acknowledged the fairness of the argument and departed, taking Ada with her. No work was done that afternoon, and while I wrote and rewrote in the dining room, I noticed Ada returning several times to the kitchen with more notepaper and perspiring freely. « They came in presently and gave me my references, I read Emma’s first. “To whom it may concern, this is to certify that I have worked for Mrs Toogood for three years. On the whole she is easy to get on with, but apt to be a bit sarcastic if her meals don’t suit her fancy. She is punctual to a fault and on the over-particular side about others being as punctual as her. I have done my best to check her inviting guests to the house until all hours, but she still breaks out at times. She has quite a good manner, and I dare say some people would like to work for her. She should improve with age. I may mention that I would have been willing to go on obliging her if she had been a bit more considerate.”

I put it down gingerly and picked up Ada’s reference. This was very badly written and generously sprinkled with blots. “Mrs Toogood has been my employer for six months, and I would of been willing to stay on, only my boy friend thinks that I could easily better myself. Of course I don’t want to say anything against Mrs Toogood. I mean she is truthful and honest and that; but her ways of spreading clothes all over her bedroom is something awful. I could recommend any girl who wouldn’t mind her fits of temper, which she is apt to fly off at you in to enter her employ. “I will have your references ready quite soojti,” I told them, and tore up my previous efforts. What I wrote was brief and very much to the point. “This is to certify that

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Emma Jones has been in my employ for three years only, because I was too lazy to sack her and look for another cook. She holds a .world record for spoiling good food and leaving the gas burning. She has an intolerable manner and I am thankful to see the last of her.”

I pulled out a fresh sheet and started about Ada. “Six months was too long to keep Ada Smith—but I kept her. During that time she broke every ornament that she dusted, charged every piece of furniture with the vacuum, ■ and fre- r quently commandeered my shorts for hiking. No doubt she has many undiscovered virtues, but she leaves me with a confident feeling that I could never have anyone worse,”

Vindicated, I propped them up on the dining-room table and tiptoed out of the front door.