OBITER DICTA.

Press, Volume LXIII, Issue 19114, 24 September 1927, Page 14

OBITER DICTA.

[By K.] • According to " Personal Efficiency," one of those American organs of dol-lars-and-uplift, " the first secret of success in stenography is ryhtliinic chewing of the gum." This fact was communicated to me "by a correspondent, who added on his p'wn account, " De tc fabula," which, I found on applying to Canterbury College, is the Latin for "This means you." My correspondent meant that these notes ought to appear regularly. It'is not, however, on his account that I resume, but on account of an address on "National Perils," delivered by Commissioner James Hay, 0.8. E., of the Salvation Army. " The Commissioner said the greatest possible danger to a people was moral torpidity. . . . The trouble was largely caused through the persistent spiritual laziness of the community, the closed Bibles, and the poorly-attended churches." And so, since the community has started off for Hell once more, I must leave my plough again. Not that there appears to be much hope that anything can be done. For Commissioner James Hay, 0.8. E., of the Salvation Army, can see no health in us, no, not any. " Sunday picnics and sport increasingly threaten us with the Continental Sunday. Are we taking our lessons from Godless France? Gambling is increasing. The laxity of parental control is a fruitful source of evil. Physical impurity is appalling. The records of libraries show the alarming lack of serious reading. The evil influence of modern picture shows is a grave danger." This is very discouraging, but all is not lost. For I read that " there was. a crowded attendance" and that "the Commissioner's address was frequently applauded," and since only the righteous could!applaud, there are obviously—this is a simple matter of deduction—more than ten righteous men in this evil land.

Our politicians, fortunately, have j not been adding to the horror of the scene; they have been unusually quiet. They will begin to legislate again presently, but it would, be mere perversity to denounce them when they are doing nothing.- Not that they have been completely idle: they have passed Mr T. K. Sidey's Summer-Time Bill and have grown merry on the strength of it. Dunedin, of course, is delighted, because the Dunedin people have an idea .that the result of the Bill will be that the sun will shine daily for an hour on their tOAvn. Already, I am told, the inhabitants are making arrangements for the opening day, and there has been a heavy importation of telescopes. Most of the people, however, think that this is extravagance, because they know that they can see the sun free, and need be at ho greater expense than the cost of a piece of smoked glass. Everyone will hope that on the day of days the rain in Dunedin will cease, but as the rain has been, continuous since 1856, the chance is immensely small that the first day of summer-time will also be the first day of sunlight in the life of all but the octogenarians in the Athens of the South. When Dunedin discovers that 1 Mr Sidey's Bill is nothing more, than a Bill to alter the clock, and to confer upon his city the benefit of an extra hour of drizzle, Mr Sidey's political career will come to an end.

The scientists have not been active this week. Except for Dr. Voronoff: ■ and a local biologist, they have been taking a holiday. Dr. Voronoff has come into the news to explain that

his method of rejuvenation will no t make people live for ever, a result which, it seems, has been "feared* by "certain scientists." It is difficult to believe that any scientist could fin anything: so sensible as recoil f rom n. vision of a world full 0 f deathlJ creatures, but at any rate Dr. Voronoff assures them that the most that can be "hoped ; for? i 8 that 0,,, hie may be extended-to 150 y Mr5 And then he shows he is himself,' scientist, for he says that even this would be a great accomplishment and would enable geniuses to serve man kind for lengthy, periods. To the un scientific mind the more obvious conse! quence would be the prolongation of ' the lives of the foolish. Imagine ——„ ' lecturing for over 100 years, or „'# denouncing gambling and drinking or being elected to P ar }£ ment every 30 years or So " Imagine oneself enduring the fool' for a century more thaa one docs at present. The other scientist, the local biologist, is a partisan of worms and shrimps, which he regards as indistinguishable from art and music. Wo all agree that the. stndv of worms has been useful to gardened' and green-keepers, and that if it w not been for Dr. Chilton's researches into the habits of the •well-shrinm tin City Council would have raised the rates. But the biologist hates to think that the study of the -worm and tit shrimp is supported by the such grossly utilitarian reasons. ,-jL should be studied for themselves' iiose This theory was- expounded to/fti W.E.A., whose members are eagerly receptive of new and uplifting thoughts, and one may itnaguji'that after some preliminary lectures on the Psychology of the Wog the W.E.A. students will devote' themselves to settling once and for all whether shrimps do make good mothers.

The local surgeon who warned the public against quack therapy this,week was no doubt doing a useful tiring, But the quacks have scarcelybegun.ia New Zealand. It is to Amerioa, |li9 land of Prohibition and High Protection,. that we must: turn if wo •wish to know how many other kinds'of treatment there are besides the removal of the appendix. The First National University of Naturopathy, inKfiw Jersey, has developed three doafen systerns of medicine. Amongst these are: Osteologicol Adjustment, Kinesiology, Sysniotherapy, Gludokinesis, Zohl Therapy, Practical Naprapathy,' Physic cultopathy, Immutable Naturopathy, Rice's Morphology,. Astrological Diagnosis of Disease, Practical Sphmcterology, Psychotherapeutics,, ,PhM)i()-' logical Physiology, Electro-Neniolpgy, Spectrochrome; Therapy, Endwratf logy, and Iridiagiiosis. It be supposed that America lS'iot m.need of all these is, because its mind is so 'acHvexay|? various, that ordinary •quite inadequate. How active Mlf'' sometimes attempted to BUgg 6§|fi--quoting from the "Americana Mencken's review.. Here. fresh ones:— ■ -Mhß-"' A Bill introduced jn the lowijillKv Mure, seeks to prevent barbeHf ; ij(B| asking questions "or when performing torisorial It further provides that clean used instead of the index finger lather from the customer's The Bibie-is an Anglo-Sax6HiWtut and foretells 'Anglo-Salon Lieutenant-Colonel' W. • G. MaoEimttiw D.5.0., in the "Dearborn dent." ' ( Hesaid-he had never felt'tt* God as Tie" had when selling, Lilijflim'* ance. —Hon. Milton L. "Life Association News."', God wrote the prohibition { our Constitution.—Hon. F» Bride, Superintendent of tl%s Amp Saloon League.of America. *v