LIGHT CAR DRIVING.

Press, Volume LX, Issue 18265, 26 December 1924, Page 5

LIGHT CAR DRIVING.

HOW NOT TO DO IT. Robert Magilt, the well-known humorist, offers some more or less valuable advice to budding motorists. Wo can assume that the novice already knows what torque is, if he bought his car from a motor salesman, and that he is content to leave to the magneto the job of igniting the petrol instead of holding a match to it himself. In short, like most motorists, ho is satisfied that the wheels go round without worrying why. The pull-up method of starting a light car Is not to be recommended unless you can get a couple of heavy passengers to sit in it first of all. Before winding it up make certain that the engine is not gummy, or the only effect will bo that you will wave the whole affair round in the air like a rattle.

.Should the car persistently refuse to ftart, and an exhaustive examination with a. spanner reveals no large piece of the works missing, go round and switch the magneto on. In time you will learn to do this first of all. Motor /•vcles. like horses, start with a kick, hut if you have paid for the car you will seethe obvious folly of attempting this sort of thing. As 30011 as there is sufficient noise coming from the engine you can get in and wrap yourself up. This is a signal to the oar to leave off running, hut after two or three times you can merely pretend to pop in, as a cuckoo doe>s into a clock, and catch it again before it subsides too much.

Having experimented until you find the lever which actuates the forward movement, vou proceed to familiarise yourself with the steering. The car moves in the same direction fls the wheel, which sounds ambiguous, unless you know whether the front or the back of the wheel is referred to, but you will have plenty of time to reflect in hospital. Perhaps the most important part of driving is the changing of the .gears. To change up you depress the clutch, •which does not mean that you shift your hand further down the handle, iiut you stamp on the soft pedal on the floor'. Let the engine slow down to- get its breath, then slip in the higher ge-.tr when it is not looking. After this you get out, start the car'up again and repeat. . . . Changing down is more difficult. Depress the clutch but slightly. The engine itself will he sufficiently depressed when it knows- that you are going to- reduce its speed. Then, stepping on the accelerator —the loud pedal —you fiddle with the lever. Some humane motorists give their cars more gas when they mean to extract all the gear teeth in this way, as a dentist does. When you hare mastered all these details you can borrow somebody elee's car, and essay your first drive, afterascertaining that your insurance policy is paid up and that your name and address is sewn in your collar. Always wait for a break in the traffic before you emerge. Your chance will bo bound to come- in nn hour or so- Keep <w>l"and collected. Anyhow, keep cool. The ambulance people will do the collecting. Kemember that the effect of your born will differ according to the psychology of the hearer, and you must learn to judge character br the back. of tho " neck. Some people leap in the xiir to let you pass underneath, others lift down in despair. Always give the recognised' signals when you -wish to stop or change direction. Sticking out the left arm means that you arc going to tho left; the right, to the'right; both arms, that you intend to turn a somersault. "Waving the hnnd negligently indicates that you are proceeding in echelon, and holding up the hand is a sign that somebody will shortly hit you in the liack. It is unlucky to run over a black cat—for the cat.

Always slow down to sixty miles an hour when rounding a corner, unless you can manage to skid off a lamp post on the opposite side of the raid. As soon as you have backed, a victim you must assume a hectoring tone, and if he is still breathing, a.nd there is no spanner handy to finish him off, threaten proceedings immediately. Killing a sitting pedestrian is not done in the best circles, and hen-pedestrians should be Allowed to escape unless the day's bos is very light. Itents in the radiator should always be pushed out. -r.« they detract from the second-hand value of the ear. I find that I have made no mention ns yet of the way to stop the thing, but as most of your stops will be involuntary it doesn't matter very much. It is no use ringing a bell, as vim do on ft bus. If there is no wail handy, perhaps the best thing to do is to step on all you c?.n and pull everything you can reach. This w ; ll be bound to have some effect somewhere.