SCHOOLBOY HOWLERS.

Press, Volume LVIII, Issue 17629, 5 December 1922, Page 2

SCHOOLBOY HOWLERS.

The progress of education doesi not make schoolboy "howlers" any rarer. A London paper says a rich collection of them is to be found in the reports of the examiners for the supplementary junior county and trade scholarships' examinations in 1920 and 1921. The London County Council have issued the reports in a booklet.

j.nere is a riot of confusion in juvenile iniaUs over tne Aimaua. it lias oueii as a "auiy," "a kind oi snip/' a •'steamer,'' ana a "passenger suip suxiii in tne late war." it wat> variously p luce a under the command ot iNeisoii, i>upoieon, and Drake, ana > manned by ±' reneii, Spanish, ana Germans.

11l many young minds the incident of D'rake jjiaymg Dow is is ttte one outstanding feature of the Armada, though bowls become ''bowels," "balls/' and even "golf." One boy asserts that "Sir "Walter Scott was tiie iirst to see the Armada while playing football." Queen Mizabeth, of course, associated with the Armada, is described as "an extremely dressy woman," and as "an unladylike woman who was always with a lot of men."

Geography questions found many of the boys at sea. Here is one answer quoted in full: "Southampton is South of Hampton. Belfast is in Scotland. It is an important town for Scotland. Coventry is also in Scotland and sells flowers and vegetafres. Nottingham I don't know." As the examiner dryly comments, "Truth will out." A bulldog and a St. Bernard were both described as "good mousers.'' A request for an account of the Prince of Wales's tour seems to have floored most of those who attempted it. One gallantly summed up the influence of the tour with the observation that the Prince had "done more good than all our pompous old ambassadors rolled into one."

The effort to describe the feelings of a man who had awakened to our pre-sent-day existence after 100 years' sleep proved trying. The majority mentioned the interest he would feel in the Cenotaph, and "many expected the man to be amazed at present-day prices." One boy described the old man as "asphlabagated," and another made him hurry back to the cemetery after seeing a motor-car and to "return joyfully to his grave.''

One boy places Mount Everest in Europe, explaining apologetically "although it has only lately been contained in the Alps."

"A stowaway is a boy who eats too much, ' is one definition.