IN LIGHTER VEIN.

Press, Volume XLIX, Issue 14668, 17 May 1913, Page 9

IN LIGHTER VEIN.

"I shouldn't cry if I were, you, littlo man." —"Must do Kiimfing; I bean't old enough to swear."—"Punch." Giles, I admiro tho man who says tho right tiling at tho right moment.— Giles: So do I—especially when I am thirsty."—The "Sketch." Ex-Hero: Ah, my boy, when I played "Hanilet" tho audience took tiftoon minutes to leave the house ! Vicious Rx-Comodinn (coldly): Was he lame; , —"New York American. ,, "Why did she want to sot her husband's -will aside?" , "-Merely because it was her husband's, and she had got in tho habit of setting it aside." —"Houston Post. , ' "Tho Parvonus aro furious at that society reporter for saying 'there wasn't a. jarring note , in their last affair." "I suppose tho-poor wretch didn't • know they made their money in preserves."—"Town Topics." "Does your lad find his suras hard ?'' "Oh, no; tho sums are easy enough, but his results aro too original to suit 1 the teacher." —"Fliegendo Blaotter." "How fast is your car, Jimpson?" Harkaway. ."Well," said Jimpson, "it keeps about six months ahead of my income generally."—"Harper's Weekly." "What's tho trouble now?" demanded his employer, when the office boy came in half an hour late. "Tho ice on tho pavements/ , said ] the lad. "Every step I took, I slipt back two." "You did, oh? Then how did you ever get hero?" "I started back home." —"Judge." Mr Spriggins (gently): "My dear, a Bosto7i. man was shot at by a" burglar, and Ids life was savod by a button which the bullet struck." Mrs Spriggins: "Well, what of it?" Mr Spriggiijs: "Nothing, only tho button must hnvo been on."—"Sacred Heart Review." "What are you doing for our cause? , ' asked a stiffrngetto worker. "Doing?" replied the man. "I'm supporting one of your most enthusiastic members."—''Detroit Froo Press."