GOOD LISTENERS ARE POPULAR.

Press, Volume LXVIII, Issue 14327, 12 April 1912, Page 10

GOOD LISTENERS ARE POPULAR.

AN ART THAT IS WORTH CULTIVATING.

A bright woman recently said there wa.s no longer any incentive to cleverness, since modern lifo had destroyed tho art of listening ; that people nowadays were too busy cultivating epigrams of their own and developing their own points of view to listen to yours.

She argued that being clever was a waste of effort. She insists that you can gain a reputation for cleverness merely by cultivating the art of reposeful listening.

There is merit in her contention, says the <; Ne\v York Times." How rarely do we find a person who ever waits for any one to complete a sentence I How seldom in these modern days are we allowed to relate and expound an experience to its artistic end!

How many peoplo have the air . of merely waiting for you to swallow a period in order to snatch your next sentence, and.there are some who havo not even the patience to allow you to swallow your period, hut rush in and trip you up on a comma and snatch tho conversation.from you bodily. What you are telling reminds them of something more thrilling which happened to them or to a friend of theirs, and immediately you are plunged into the midst of their experience.

And you are forced into the attitudo of an antagonistic and unwilling listener with all your forces bent upon the moment when you can regain tho thread of your own narrative.

So universal has this method becomo that when by rare fortune you meet someone who has the happy art of listening you find them charming; you sing their praises far and wide; you herald them a.s clever and comprehending people: you ask their society, and very soon you have established for them a reputation for cleverness, when in reality they have merely given you the opportunity of being clever. It is surprising that more people do not realise thc advantage of listening well,, for the charm that it possesses is undisputed. It would make a. novel and attractive course in schools.

Think what a delight a season of calm, interested, listening debutantes would: possess Think of ihe joy -of sitting next to a girl at dinner who actually appeared to .follow. the thread of conversation, who gave you timo to express an idea, and who had not tho hawklike habit of snatching your words from-your' lips.;

And listening-is such a simple art; our grandmothers had it. No brusquo interruptions, no violent taking possession of a conversation was tolerated in-their day.

Girls were taught to listen well, so serene conversation .flourished. It was not considered courteous to let your attention wander. Nowadays no ono ever listens to anyone else. They listen to themselves, to tho conversation of another couple near them; but rnrcly to the person who is talking to them.

A casual manner seems the height of modern smartness, but it does riot gain one friends. The girl who wants friends,must have a wholesome interest in other people, she must be willing to keep her own point of view occasionally in the background while she listens intelligently to someone else expounding bis, and she : should nvoid frequent interruptions.

Tho girl who has cultivated her capacity to listen sends one away with a feeling of self-elation and satisfaction, aiid you can gaiu friends that way much quicker than by talking yourself, no matter how well you may talk.