"SPINDRIFT."

Press, Volume LXIV, Issue 13031, 5 February 1908, Page 7

"SPINDRIFT."

(ffKCIiXLT WIUTTIJC -*0_ 'ITHI rMSS.")

Having arrived, more or less tanned and freckled, at the last month of a blistering summer, it is gratifying to bo enabled to reflect that every limelit day which sinimors along its appointed course brings us nearer and nearer to the period and tbe place from whence we may contemplate with th© •-tmost equanimity the rumours of heat waves flaunted boneath our sunspotted noses by professional meteorologist-- and other peepers into atmospheric futurity. ln spite of everything, the country has rubbed along with a f_ir degree of success through the calamitous visitation of drought, and though the traditional smile may have peeled off th© Dominion's homesteads beneath the season's unrestrained ardour, the summer of our discontent and megrims is likely soon to merge with th© squelching compensations of winter's abiding moisture and slushfulnesß. We have grown so accustomed te praise for th© natural beauties of our country and the manner in which the comfort of visitors is oatered for that tho peppery outburst of Captain Hopeton, Commandant of the British nflo team, who oame and saw and censured, stimulates considerable national resentment. Tho gallant captain's chief grievance was against_ the restraint placed upon the 6aio of liquor here. Ho was not a drinking man, he asserted, in the general somse of the elastic term, but in Now Zealand it was quite difficult to got a glass of ale or wine. Nature is solely to blame for these shortcomings. It is not our fault that merely water dashes over tho Sutherland Falls, that tbo Sounds and tho Lakes contain nothing better, and that the geysere in the Rotorua district project tho same monotonous element, only warmed up and with stones in it. We do our best with tbe limited materials at and can only regret that our mountains havo been able solely to yield numerous glaciers, but no breweries, up to the present time. What tho captain really needed was a liver pill, what ho wanted goodness only knowß. America is unlearning the ancient lesson in physics which taught her that the sun rose from behind tho left shoulder of Sandy Hook and set in the .. suburbs of 'Frisco. Who is also sending her trusty sons and daughters abroad to soo if tho world wags, and, if so, how many. Even the cornor lot of real estate upon whioh we are whittling - the small ends of a destiny has been deemed of sufficient worth to happen along to. Thus within the period of a . few short weeks we have had the Galilee, with her scientists, guessing and calculating the angle of our ma_*notio dip; Professor Yocfer, of Utah, viewed our flocks and herds, our ox,' and our ass, and everything that was ours, in ten day*.; Dr Kennedy is enquiring X into our social conditions- while Mrs Levin is unravelling our labour laws— all to tbe intent that, in the fulness oft'me. Uncle Sam may perceive (when his banks have recovered ( from'• blind staggers and windgall: when the trusts ar© fit to be trusted, and when hia navy can plough the blue Pacific and come homo tirod, but safe, when the evening shadows lengthen), that there are some wags which the non-American world wags, likely to advantage United - States progression if incorporated with hia present outfit. The "Daily Mail" states that French, Belgian, and. German ___perantists have planned the establishment of an independent Esperanto State in the neutral territory of Moresnet, between . Liege and the Prussian Rhine province. What the reformers purpose doing in tho direction of obtaining a definite living does not transpire. Seeing that an agricultural district is to be annexed to their purpose, it is probable tha£ farming will afford a focus of tieir industriaJ. occupations. The ©a-okle of an Esperanto hen, the . the low of an Esperanto cow, tbe fretful grunt of Esperanto Djenis, to .pay : nothing of tho doleful ballads to his mistress's Esperanto eyebrows, of Es- - peranto Tkom on the Esperanto tiles in tho stilly Esperanto night, should at least prove inspiring. But whether E«perantist butter will bring any more in the open market than that produced under unadulterated language conditions is an open question. Until the lion and the lamb have finally concluded to lie down together, experiments of this character will continue to lack tihe ingredients necessary for permanent success. Still, there is something to he said in favour of a scheme of simple life from which cuss words and the means for wifely - eludings are eliminated. The loud pedal of cyclists' scornful indignation overwhelmed and extinguished th© Mayor's suggestion 'that - riders of the gliding wheel should dis- ' mount upon rcachang the pass giving .entrance to the shrouded and hoarded beauties of Cathedral Square',, in order that the habitual walkers might tread in safety. It has been . i demonstrated from the cyclists' point jof view that intelligent navigation j alono is essential to the preservation ~' of such infant and adult life aa may •'' bo there imperilled. That, and heed-, to th© advice of the French sage "Cherchez la femme." There were do -bicycles and few bank corners'in tho days of Dumas pere, but, nevertheless, • to look for the woman is instinctive with the complete cyclist. A packet ' of tacks, a woman on foot, and a broken bottle comprise a trinity, of pitfalls eternally to be avoided. Tho, tacks and fragments of bottle usually remain in their original state of distribution until ono has safely passed. A woman, however, will sail gently but firmly, say, northward. Upon tiho approach of a cyclist she will heave-to and take flustered soundings. She will then put back towards port flying signals ofi distress, and *feuddenly go scudrling nor'-nor'-east. Then, perhaps, she will surge on to v tb© other tack, sou-sou-east, heave-to again, puo back again, go on again, ' tack again, and finally, after the flight of an neon or so, with, an epoch thrown iv for good measure, the cyclist (probably a grandfather by this time) will bo permitted to pass, gritting his toothless gums and darting glances of homicidal protests from his . dim old eyes. ,