"SPIND RIFT."

Press, Volume LXIII, Issue 12975, 30 November 1907, Page 10

"SPIND RIFT."

(SPECIALLT WRITTEN" FOB "THE PRESS.")

The condition of being held over, to be proudly exhibited when space is more readily available, is one of the concessions to the exigencies of the purely mechanical side of journalistic enterprise that muet be made though tho unprinted heavens should fall. The inexorable demands of space shape the destinies of everything pertaining to the print, printy, and when one is forced to contemplate tho fact of being constituted a movable feast, liable to be called up for sentence at any subsequent period, he may derive solaco from reflecting tbax tlifv also serve who stand and wait—a «;laco drably tinctured by kno* ledge that in these times of lightning changes upon tho face of history, when newpages are gifted for old ones, tho whoop of t<i-<l<iy easily becomes the whine of to-morrow, and not even good whine at that.

To the newspaper correspondent who jicsT write. In order that the universt may receive impetus for its daily round, one would recommend at the present juncture (all else being flat stale, and unprofitable), when in douU to lead To Oranga Home. So much has been said that might bo said again *-tfertively. The skirling bleat of the humanist, the appeals to tho Deity, invocation of the shades of Dickonsall these ingredients may bo stirred in dry among the sifted inconsistencies ot personal opinion; moistened then with the acidulous vapourings of imperfect knowledge, kneaded upon the slab ot bi.ist'd irresponsibility, thrust into the oven of searing, vitriolic mentality, turned once, dusted with the nearest expletives and hurled at the head ot the public—an intellectual hard-bake, calculated to prove at once ungrateful and discomforting. And there you aro —tho secret of attractive newspaper lottoi-writing, free, gratis and for nothing, to those who mcst write.

Jaded modern thought is continually reaching out for what it cannot grasp, and persuading itself into contentment with the email ends of human .satisfaction. In matters of recreation this quality is displayed most forcefully. We were constrained to believe a few years ago that that alliterative monstrosity, ping-pong, filled a void that had been aching since the fall of man was accomplished by tho wifely push of woman. But it was not co. Ping-pong raved through its little day, and its champions achieved fame, compared with which the blushing honours thrust upon the reflective person with tho best Wyandotte pullet constituted eternity itself. And now because Franco has chosen to lose its flighty head in devotion to some weird athletic nonsense constructed from a length of grocer's twine and a diecarded cotton-reel, and fortuitously designated "Diabolo," tho British Empire has poured out endless _ admiration towards the supposed pastime, and ie pursuing it with a vigour and relentlessnees upon which the sun has had , no opportunity thus far of setting. By the time tho inevitable tide or" Diabolo shall have laved' these shores, good form in the upper register of our racial concerns will probably have decreed some further imbecility, bearing us another step nearer to the thumb-twiddling stago of simian simplicity, finally establishing beyond reasonable possibility of doubt the origin of our cheerfully-imitative species. The advantages of an exclusively nut diet have already been frequently affirmed.

Despite the change for the bettor in the direction •of making it worse for the bettor that has recently been introduced to our social life by means of the Gaming and Lotteries Act Amendment Act, the gambling instinct* of the community remain uncurbed. A prominent Auckland medico has agreed to submit on indirect stake to lot, hazard or chance upon the contingency of a performance, non-per-formance, malfeasance, easement or tort, as touching a horse. The terms of the wagor, bet, lot, hazard, chance, flutter, gamble or other quality, anything contained in the preceding claußce notwithstanding, is that a leading crusader fighting for health beneath tho heneficentrv-oozing banner of lemon-juice, shall, prove, substantiate or otherwise uphold his theory by / maintaining the said horse alive in good order end condition for a period or not less than twenty-five consecutivo days upon the aforesaid juice of the eiid lemon or lemons, the onus of proof that the resultant horse, screw, or bag of bones, has Buffered neither physically nor in repute to lie upon the said crusader. It ie forbidden to indicate under which bhinible the winning pea may eventually be discerned.

Great Britain has been compelled to lean upon America for supplies of Army horseshoes, America is contemplating the pnircibaso of ordnance, powder, projectiles and torpedoes abroad; Japan and other people come to tM» for odd lines of warships, and, generally there is a tendency all round among civilised nations to place orders for lethal ironmongery among their possible enemies. Why this should be so has never been apparent to the l«y mind. On* docs not usually employ the next-door rake to further the interests of an argument with his neighbour He reg-mls it as a point of honour to utilise his own belongin CB, nnd if n rake is not included with the- household armoury, there is inevitably a spade or something to come nnd go upon. Germany supplied our bflyonete foi tihe Egyptian campaign in the eighties; but whether the weapons were at fault or the foemen specially seasoned and highly _ tempered, the implements certainly did not spoil the Egyptians, as. when impelled forward tbev promptly doubled back. The most effective disarmament proposition conceivable could _be evolved by the Powers declining, jointly nnd scvcniUy, to permit a single foreign order for anything with a bong or on cdw «vl>out it being executed with'n t'heiT borders. No country could fill its own warlike requirements; and thus in the cose- of disagreements a! 1 would l>e reduced to a common level of gibbering impotence, powerless to do aught save pen hystericil ultimatums in offensively stinging red ink.