HOLIDAY GLUMOURS.

Press, Volume LXIII, Issue 12970, 25 November 1907, Page 2

HOLIDAY GLUMOURS.

TWO STUDENTS AND A HOLIDAY. Bt Athol Fomes CAnthor of "Odd Fish," "Cassock and Comedy," etc.) "Plain living, hard thinking, and ju3t to do jolly well as we like without anyone to interfere what do you think of it, my boy?" I sodded assent. Iα my firm friendship with Dick HamHn, it was usually understood that I managed all eerious matters and he the lighter once. We were ttt the •University together—what we read, and when we rea d—what tutors we sought and what we avoided—what lectures were good and what were rotten*—e>ll that I decided. In (return he settled what dubs we joined, what games we played, what we ate and what we drank. I had an idea tihat he oouH not get on without me—and he would mot have trusted mc to buy c pair of cocks. We had no opinion of each other, only a big affection which' made us inseparable. A HOLIDAY IS PROPOSED. We had put in some fairly eftiff work at college, now we wanted repose for some serious reading before taking Holy Orders. "What do you say to my idea of plain 'Jiving and hard thinkingP" he shouted. "Why don't you answer?" This waa unusual, for commonly I read the papers—his papere— whrle he talked,'and that he should expect an answer was something new. I looked up. "What aTe you making all the row aboutP" I asked mildly. "My dear chap, I am arranging our Long Vacation. "Can't you do ft without all thie noise?" I protested. "But I want to be serious, he continued. "Nonsense, you can't," I replied. "I am gourg to.tiry, anyhow." "Well, I don't see why it should be visited upon mc; make what arrangemente you like, and let mc finish any reading." ARRANGING—AND PACKING. Thie introduction is neoessary to vindicate Hnmlin—l want to show that I bad. my chance of ► preventing the calamities which afterwards overtook us. He having made all arrangcmente, I considered it only fair that he should be allowed to do the packing, contenting myself with throwing out an odd book or two on theology [ nisi philosophy. In coxier awfc to j disturb him I occupied his nicely fur- [ nished roonie while he packed my things. I have a great idea of making all people about mc self-reliant, and without prejudice to Dick's echoSaTehip, I am sure it ie due to my training that he is a bishop now. The useful man I made of him enabled him ' to eocept honours ac they came along, which, under ordinary circumstances, , he must have refused. A few d'aye later Diok and I—it causes a shiver to talk of a 'bishop ac "Dick"—but he wae not a bishop then—let that be ' α-uite clear—as I wee saying, Dick and I found ouunselves at Seaiton, Carew on the coast of Durham, near the entrance to the river Tees. We got rootaa in a clean little cottage, but we found the extent of the sea view advertised referred not to some adjunct to the cottage, but to .the place—that,» is if you stood in the right part T>f Seaton Carew for newing the sea then there was an extensive eea view but not otherwise. The landlady had seen better days, and: I may add that I had eeen better landladies. She enquired whet our place was Thie I found was not meant as impertinence, but simply a. question as to our trade or profession. I replied that tea would be very acceptable it she would serve it. This wae no,t a solution to the difficulty, for she pressed the question again es to what we were, and. withheld the teapot while waiting for a reply. A LANDLADY'S CURIOSITY. I eaid, "Well, madam, we have no work at present, we hope to get employment in α-few weeks. 1. She replied that her husband had been a captain, and called our attention to the portrait of him and his ship, evidently the work of an artist who favoured decided colours. I eaid something about them both being very nice. Then she said he had always been a very particular man, and through him she had grown to be a very particular woman, that she had always paid her way, and meant to do so. . • I relieved her of the teapot, and eaid, "Bravo! Bravissima." She coloured and remarked that ehe was $ religious woman, and did not like foreign language, as it savoured of idolatry. It .turned out that we were only at the beginning of her catalogue of many virtues. And these virtues being what they were, and we being what wo were, ehe must have money week by week in advance. I objected; Hamlin paid, adding that his father was a lawyer—whether this addition was to intimidate her or to reassure mc, I catuiot make out. To mc it had nothing to do with the question, but since he has been a bishop, I notice the development of this habit of throwing in a contribution which has nothing to do - with the subject. OUR FIRST SWIM. One attraction of this holiday was to be the dip into the briny and the splashing morning swim; The day after our arrival was cloudy, with a touch of oast in the wind. I rather , regretted that we had made a solemn compact to batho each day. After breakfast I said, "Come on, Dick, let's ■ go for a swim," hoping he would cry off on account of the cold, but he didn't like to disappoint mc, so he said afterwards, and securing towels wo set off. In order to delay the ordeal until the day had got warmer, we walked on , as far as the Snook —a piece of land desolate and bare of habitation at the mouth of the Tees. We stripped off, and leaving our clothes beyond what we considered high water mark, ran down to the sea and plunged in. We soon recovered from the shivers which attend upon the firsfc_ eea bathe, and the exercise of swimming kept the circulation going. When we were ready to. come ashore we noticed eomo peoplo on the beach. " Wβ were modest young men, and having dispensed with a bathing machine, we resolved to swim out to sea again to give these people time to pass on. But they lingered gathering cockles. Meanwhile the tide was running in; this fact we did not realise until later. While we were bating what we should do, a straw hat floated past mo. I called Dick's attention to the fact that it was like his. He shouted back that the ribbon was that of our college, and that some of our chaps must be in the neighbourhood. A collar and a silk scarf next passed mc wifJi a jaunty air, and it struck mc as more than significant that the college colour predominated in the latter article of attire. FLOTSAM. "Coincidence," shouted Dick, who was swimming on his back then. As the people on the beach had moved on, we now swam for the shore, A pair of trousers met mc. "Don't touch them," shouted Dick, "they may be infected—things thrown overboard." I let them , pass. "The curious thing is the pattern is the eamo as your new suit, , ' I yelled between strokes. "I haven't bought up the whole monopoly of that material," was his reply. Our feet touched the ground ■ together, and we ran up on the dry beach, or what was loft of it. "Where's our things? shouted Dick and myself in chorus. "Those people have taken them— let's after them," he cried indignantly. We gave chase, got within shouting distance, discovered that ladies had joined the party, so we retreated. Suddenly it dawned .upon ns that the incoming tide had swept oar things ont to sea. - * "Why, that fiat was mine!" shouted Dick. "And the collar, scarf, end trouews—" but I had plunged b»ck.

into the cc» and »■* alreadyengaged l in thTwork of salvage. D«£/>"">d mc and the exciting game of hide and warch .nd prodigto' of valour in the W «f ewanumn* «nd diving resulted in our eecunng one p»irof trousere, three eocke, one* colfar one v.aietcoet, and r a shirt mmoe the stud. Here wa» * woe , predicato be done now?" aaked Dick venting with hie exertions. It wie a Situation calculated to produce cool and sober deliberation. Dick s teeth were already going like casto"Dick, dress in what thore ie, and go after those people. The man with the top hat has an overcoat; hog, borrow, or if necessary steal at. Leave mo a trifle for -warmth. A STRUGGLE FOR AN OVERCOAT. Dick dressed, and it wae a weird figure he presented, and started in pursuit of the people whose presence had caused thie catastrophe—for they kept ue in the water. I saw Dick oatch up to them, then a woman beg«m to eoreani, and the gentleman in the top hat defended hi* property with his umbrelk. A young woman threw sand at Dick. I was panting to go To tho rescue, but I had no clothes. Duty called mc, decency held mo. Dick stuck to the overcoat and pulled. I think he would have got it, but a coastguard appeared running down from the sandhills. The odds were now too many. I saw Dick gesticulating. Then the coa6tßUdrdsman laid hold of the coat, and Dick fell down on the J beach. I advanced es near Cβ I dare and shouted. The navy man having arrested Dick, the molested people end tho coat were released, end I went up to explain matters. I found that was not Eo easy a> task «s it seemed, but coastguard's hearts ere eoft, if their heeds ere hard. The man, having grasped the situation, was prepared to play the good Samaritan to the full. Ho knew where there wae a. stock of clothee kept on hand for shipwrecked sailors. He would borrow some for us. We accompanied him—Fwalking in the middle, and when we passed anyone the ooaetguardsman and Diok screened mc. - ' ■ » THE DIFFERENCE OF CLOTHES. I I never realised until I caw Dick ar- ! rayed in the motley assortment of j shipwrecked mariners' garments, whet a difference clothee can make in a man. Of all the lugubrious eoarecrowe i I ever saw in my life, Dick out-dis-tanced all. Dick, who had been very serious up to this point, got hysterical when he saw mo dressed. The very sea birds took fright and flew off screaming—with laughter, Dick said. The coastguardsman became hilarious, and volunteered to accompany us to our rooms. ■ . ■ ■. Wβ arrived thore, accompanied by 1 some boys, three dogs, and an organ man, who left hie instrument in charge - of a lady with East London plainly written on her face. It wae with real joy I saw the door of our humble dwelling, but here, again misfortune wae in front of us. The landlady opened the door, and cc I tried to push past stopped mc with one on the chest. f'What do you want?" ehe demanded. To come in/' J replied testily. "Oh, no, you don't!—none of them dodges, if you please." '"These are our rooms 1" shouted Dick. 'Oh, indeed( I had an idem, they was mine/ eaid the woman. '. A crowd had now gathered, to whom the ooastguardsmen made fecetiout remarks. "Look at mc/ , eaid Dick. ''Surely you know mc?" "Kisa him, mother," eaid the coastguard, and there wee a roar of laughter. I tried to dodge into the room, but she held mc off. . "I never clapped eyee upon them in my life; before," she vaid. v THE GRAND FINALE. "The return.of the prodigal/ euggeeted a bilious-looking man. , "Oh, you villains, to come and annoy a. hard-working woman." -This contribution came from the tipper window of a house opposite. At this moment a policeman arrived, and about .' fifteen people "began to explain the situation to him, but the efforts of fifteen , people only oauecd him to bellow, "What's it all about?" Then thirty jpeople at lesst took np the etory. * The policeman mopped his perspiring brow, end appealed for order. I tried to' explain, but before I !rad uttered half a dozen words any landlady eaid emphatically, "That's a lie." "You've got to come with jne/' said the man in blue. Dick threw up his hands with a gesture of despair. "None o' that—you come quietly, or 111 'elp you/ , shouted the policeman, and he blew hie whittle, and commandeered the services of the coastguardsman. The procession then started for-the police station. It woe a relief to get inside and sit down. A telegram to our tutor brought him down by the next train, and theea-mo train took us away. It was generally given out that we wore two lunatics, and the tutor was our keeper, end I have an idea that this report originated with our religious landlady.. ■ :