IN LIGHTER VEIN.

Press, Volume LXIII, Issue 12897, 31 August 1907, Page 7

IN LIGHTER VEIN.

The barber was one of the loquacious sort, and his victim's patience wan all but gone. The tonsorial artist clipped his scissors sixteen time in mid-air and remarked:

'Hair getting a little grey at th© temples, sir."

"I expect it is," was th© answer. "Ain't you nearly finished ?"— "The Stoty Teller."

A young wife of Bristol said to her husband one night: '"My dear, there is a gentleman in tho parlour. He wants to speak to you." "Who is it? Do you know?*' the husband asked.

"Dear," _aid the wife, "you must forgive mc, but that cough has bothered you 60 much of lato;_ and tho' spring is coming ou, it still clingp to you, und oh! if you knew how worried I've been about you!"' And she threw her aniM around his neck. "What would I do if I were to lose you?" she moaned.

'Come, oome," said the young man, patting her shoulder tenderly ; 'men

don't die of a slight oold. So you're called tbe doctor in, eh? Well, I'll see him gladly if it will make you feel easier. Which one is itP Squills?" "It isn't the doctor, dear," was the answer; it's the life insurance agent."—"Sphere."

Little Ethol "Mamma, don't people ever get punished for telling the truth ." Mamma.—"No, dear, ask P"

why do you

Little Ethel.—" 'Cause I just tooked the last throe tarta in tho pantry and I thought I'd better tell you."— "Cleveland Plain Dealer."

Bill Nye when a young man once made an engagement with a lady friend of his to take her driving of a Sunday afternoon. The appointed day came, but at the livery stable all. the horses were taken out save one old, shaky, exceedingly bony horse. Sir Nye hired 'the nag and drove to his friend's house. Tho lady let him wait nearly an hour before she was ready, and then on viewing the disreputable outfit flatly refused to accompany Mr Nye. "Win-," she exclaimed sneeringly, "that horse may die of age nnv moment."

"Madam," Mr Nye replied, 'Jwhen I arrived, that horse was a prancing young steed.''— 'Harper's Weekly."