IN LIGHTER VEIN.

Press, Volume LXIII, Issue 12849, 6 July 1907, Page 7

IN LIGHTER VEIN.

"Never point, my dear," 6nid the mother, gently. "But, mamma," objected tho little girl, "suppose I dqn't know the name of the thing?' , "Then let the salesman show you. all he has in stock, until he comee to the article that is desired."—"Sydney Town, and Country Journal." Admiral: "And what made you wish to become a sailor, my boy?" Juvenile Navy Candidate (in perfect good faith): "Because he's got a wife in every port, •irl" — "Punch." R.A.M.C.—Principal Medical Officer: "Now, my man, I want you to put your linger on one of the arteries in your neck." (No answer.) "Well, there are some arteries in your neck, 1 euppose, aren't there P" Canny Volunteer (who has heard the last maa badly cornered): "Well, there's some as thinks there is. : '—"Punch."

Tourist: "What do the people round here live on, Pat?" Jarvcy: "Pig», bOir, mainly, and touri6t* in the summer;"—" Punch. ",

A Mexican cowboy was placed on trial on a charge of horse stealing. A jury had been gathered in the street, pat in*o n room, and some time later a dozen men unceremoniously buret in, demanding the rerdict. "Not gnilty/ , answered the foreman. With ominous laying of hands on pistok, tb» r iitrudere slammod the noor with "You'll have to do better thnn that. Try again!" In half an hour one of tm> men opened the door once more. "Your opinion, gentlemen?" "Guilty." "Correct! You can come out. Wβ hanged him an hour ago."

"Time ie money"—and eight hours' eleep is a mighty good investment. 'Truth crushed to earth will rise again"—but it is often, a very lat« riser. Every gun has two ende; co has every argument, and besides, there'e tho kick. , Peoplo who used to worry aDout the higher life are now worrying over the hicher cost of living. If fi man admits that he does not understand Wogner, or care for ehakespeare, it miy be safe go on his bond. —"Saturday Evening Post" (Philadelphia).