THE BREAKER.

Press, Volume LVI, Issue 10264, 6 February 1899, Page 7

THE BREAKER.

lURnv Paix. in Black \so Wiiitf.. In appe flrancc, was about a s commonplace as other people—a middle-aged man. Inclined to portliness. As the train moved lie discussed commonplace subjects with mo in a commonplace way. I should not j we bwn surprised to have been told that j he was ii stockbroker or a solicitor, or that j k< w »s a-igagod in the tea trade. In the j course "f <» ,r <:nat something luippened to be said ;tlr«iut curious occupations. "Well, siid my companion. "I do not sup- > pose that there i» «<i>y more curious oecupa- I tion lli' 1 " '". v ""'"• *am a breaker." j He luid nut at ii.ll the appearance of a man ! ueed to hinges; but 1 suggested, "A horsebre.aktT. you mean?' , •'No. , ' h° fJiid. "just a plain weaker. A j man whi> breaks things, breaks anything that roquiio* to be broken: gets his living by breaking-" I glam-ed nervously at the communicator, timucli lie looked even less like a lunatic than he did like n horse-breaker. "I see." l>i-' *;i:d, smiling, "that I must explain When I left Cambridge with a classical degree, no prospects and no influence, I Joukod ii hunt tor a profession. I found everything overcrowded ; besides, none of the professions apj>ealed to mc at all. I like to travel ab>nt v little, and I onjoy social life. I like talking—talking to anyone. I hate work of :i ny kind. This being the case, I looked itbi-iit mc to see if there was not a chance for w»m« new profession • if among our million wants there was not one that was not supplied. The idea came to mc by accident. 1 was stopping at mv uncle's house when licl*ceived as a present from his wife's brother a singularly ugly but very valuable pair of Oriental vases. His wife's brother was frequently in my uncle's house, and therefore these abominations had to be displayed. I heard him grumbling about this. I suggested that he should sell tUwn. Tho itlor*. wa,«, of course, absurd: he told mc ho. Nor, he said, could he break them himself, for his wife's brother would never forgive him ; nor could he ask his wife to break them, because, although he has been married fifteen years, he felt that he did not know her well enough ; nor could he ask the servants to break them, for that would encourage carelessness and thriftlessness. 'That is all right,' I said. I rose from my place and smashed the vaaes, one after the other, on the floor. 'Sorry I was so clumsy, , I said ; 'you had better ring and have this rubbish cleared away.' He rang and told the servant that I had broken > them accidentally. When she was gone he raid without a smile, 'It seems rather a pity.' I said, 'I am very short of ready money. Could you lend mc five pounds?' He wrote mc a cheque for twenty and said that I was a useful man to know of. Then I said, 'Recommend mc to your friends,' for already I saw the possibility of my future profession. He mentioned mc to some halfdozen people lie knew, gome of whom I had never seen in my life before. They sent mc invitations to their houses, and indicated the objects on which I was to operate. In my first week I broke, I remember, a lamp shaped like an owl, an oil painting, a tea service, and a dining-room table." "But an oil painting," I said. "How does one break an oil painting?" "It is simple enough," he said. "I first of all undid the wires so that the picture fell, then in picking is up I put my foot through the face. It was a portrait of my host's wife's., aunt. It was more difficult to break the dining-room table. I recollect that it became necessary for the purpose to invent a eomewhafc boisterous form of round game. Even then we had to play it for three evenings before the legs came off. When I left this house my host handed mc a cheque and promised to recommend mc to other people. I never advertise, and I have more breakina to do than I can pos•ibly find time for. If I could find a young man with plenty of tact I would take him M an assistant. "It muet need some tact," I suggested. "It does. It so often happens that lam employed by the husband without the knowledge of the wife, or by the wife with out tho knowledge of the husband. Even ' with the utmost tact one gete oneself dis- . liked, but that I must put up with. The 'other day one of mjr clients.asked mc to . come to his house to break a dinner service. ' I dined there and made myself ac pleasant as I cotf d and told several good stories. But then I also broke the dinner service, or most of it, and it was one to which my hostess vras much attached. She said to him afterwards, 'I will never have that brute in my bouse again I , " "And what did he say?" "He said, 'I fullr agree with you, m" dear. To the best of mv belief the man was drunk. If he had not been the son of an old college friend I should never have asked him at all." That was a littlo mean; but then it was necessary for him to cover himself in some way, and as I never break a dinner service Under twenty-five pounds, I received some solatium for the indignity." "Have you got any engagements at present?" I asked. "Yes, he «aid, "I am going to one now, but it is a trifling thing requiring no tact at all. Hod I had an assistant I should have sent him. lamto go the day after a wedding reception, when the presents ore being . packed. Those which, from their ugliness or wortlileseneas, ore not worth packing up and sending to the bridegrooms distant home, have been placed on a separate shelf. .1 shall upset that shelf and accidently stamp on anything which is not broken in the fall. The job won't take five minutes, and I get three guineas for it. lam doing it for the bridegroom without the knowledge of the bride. Men begin to deceive women very soon, I find." "I have," I said, "one or two little objects Jta my own home which " But at this moment the train entered Victoria Station, and though I managed to complete my sentence and my companion said that he'woud be glad at any time to oblige mc, in the confusion of our arrival I neglected to take his name and address or to give him mine.