SEARCHLIGHTS. THE SONG OP THE NATIVE-BORN.

Press, Volume LIII, Issue 9604, 19 December 1896, Page 8

SEARCHLIGHTS.

THE SONG OP THE NATIVE-BORN.

"BibYCLK," "cycle," "bike," machine," or "wheel?" The Battle of the Words has begun in the English papers. Bicycle, apparently, is doomed. The "lewde and unlered" will have none of it, it i 3 too long ; they can't get their tongue round the "cle." Anyhow, voxpopuli has pronounced against it, and in the matter of language vox populi is vox Dei. Those who still condescend to use it for some inscrutable reason call it bi-cycle, with two accents. Save us from that, anyhow—" bicycle" were better dead than so barbarously pronounced. The question is—a substitute. The older velocipede is out of the question. It is longer still than bicycle, and has an unpleasant suggestion of centipede in the sound of it. "Machine" is popular; though, to my mind, it is a vulgar Scotticism not to be borne for a moment. Besides there are too many other " machines"— those at Now Brighton, for instauee ; and the word standing aloue would be ambiguous. "Bike" is the favourite. Odi profanum valgus et arcio ! I would as soon have a friend called "Ike" as a vehicle called bike. Let us leave this uncouth vulgarism to 'Ikes aud 'Arries. The word is ugly—for what reason it is hard to tell, unless, perhaps, from an in tinctive sense that in the colonies it rhymes with •' cake." Its defenders—i. actually has defenders among the literate—claim for it I that it is convenient, because it can be I turned into a verb "to bike" (save us !) and you can form another noun, " bikist." Why not " bikolier " straightway on the analogy of "gondolier" ? There remains to consider- " wheel." The device of naming the whole from its part has plenty of precedents. But "to wheel" clashes with the military term, and " Wheeler" would never do, though " Wheelman " might. Still one has an instinctive objection to Americanisms; and the fact that "wheel" hails from " Chicago, where the pigs come from," will probably debar it from acceptance among Englishmen of taste. By the end of the century probably the controversy will be settled, and a definite set of terms adopted into the language. My own tip is "cycle," "to cycle," "cyclist." It is short, and it isn't vulgar. I have received a protest from a "Fine Defaulter," whose name appears on the black list of the Athletic Protection Association. He tells mc that the " Half-crown Defaulters" who appear on the list are in arrears, not with subscriptions, but with " fines unjustly inflicted by the East Christchurch Football Club." And so the gentleman, instead of being ashamed of seeing his name in this goodly company of " on-the never" athletes, glories in the fact, and is proud of himself as a sort of protestant martyr. I still think he ought to be ashamed of himself—not for his dishonesty, if he refuses to pay on principle ; but for his folly. The public have no means of distinguishing between a " fine defaulter," as he calls it—if any defaulter can be said to be " fine " —and a subscription defaulter. Therefore the young gentleman allows his name to appear on a discreditable list to the detriment of his credit and reputation. This is, to say the least of it, foolish. His proper course is to protest to his Club against the injustice of the fine, if it be unjust; to leave no stone unturned to have his protest considered ; and if he fail and still feels aggrieved, to pay up and resign the Club. Moreover I must remind this gentleman | that when you join a Club you expressly or tacitly agree to submit to its discipline and obey its rules and regulations. And however unjust he may think the fine his first duty is obedience to his Club. However, there does seem to be something in the distinction he draws between a man in default with a fine and one in default with his subscription. I would, therefore, suggest to the Protection Association a simple method, of obviating this little difficulty. Classify the Block List into "In arrears with ,subscriptions," "In arrears with fines," aud then there can be no hardship or injustice. Meantime, my advice to my " fine "-defaulting friend is— Pay up and smile. 1896 is rapidly "slinging his hook," and with him the last hope of the matrimonially inclined maiden who is pinning her faith to the custom that used to be recognised as law in Scotland. According to a treatise dated 1606, the man who treats a proposal with slight or contumely is refused benefit of clergy, and the only reasonable excuse for refusing it is if he* can "mak it appear he is betrothed tae yin ither woman." They say it is.only in leap year that the "beans grow on the wrong Bide of the pod." But there's hope yet, for is not 1897 a multiple oil? A good omen, the seventh wave is the big wave of prosperity. The fact that I shall be out of town from date has not interfered with my determination to call the attention of the ladies to their rights. A belated piece of "election humour." In a constituency where there were but two candidates a back-blocks voter was heard soliloquising behind his bit of canvas. " Humph 1 Jones, Smith. Don't think much o', them two blokes. ■ it, I'll strike 'em both out and write down the name of the candidate I think best." And that voting paper turned up "informal" with the elector's own name written at the bottom.

They talk of lands where the snow falls thick and they skate on the parish pond, But give mc the skies of Maoriland and the hills at the Back o' Beyond 1 The shimm'ring haze on the tussock plains, the track in the river bed, The white clematis through the green of the festoons overhead. The land where bananas beat "plum duff," and the festive lemon-squash Goes one ahead of the " Xmas ale" and the : various storied bosh. When the Long Vacation's real at last, and the cap and gown are hurled 1 Along with Caesar and his friends from a free, exam-less world. When gold-mine shares forget to boom and , patents are at rest, ' And a man can pick a Paradise on the*spot that suits him best. In town they're running picnics to the relics | of the bush, And rolling home by moonlight to the warsongof the " push." "Out back,!' the dungarees are off, the sweat beads rise and run; Where Lysaght iron roofing draws the flaming Maori sun, It may be ninety in the shade, there mayn't be any shade; But we wouldn't swop, our islands for the coolest land that's made, The "board" is full, the "yolk" is up, the blades are on the stone. Each shearer goes baldheaded for a tally " on his own." The big mob's in, the shed's packed tight, the Black Range mustered full, There's no big lien on this year's clip, Lord send a rise in wool 1 The tally's growing fast in tens along the grimy bar, ■' ■ - The nicks that gap the ridgy skin are puttied up with tar. Theyarders rush and pant and shout in blinding nor'-west dust, And " York " and " Spud " get " Buckley's show" of letting their throats rust. The London Ring that backs the "Plate" '11 stand to in -vke a loss, When the clips tin. lop the market come from'neath tii. "ion fchern Cross. The brokers know that stencil brand across each compact bale, They're down like wolves in winter on the wool from ** Allandale." Colonial hands find many a game that suits colonial hearts, And the "country's backbone" in its time perhaps works many parts. But the long year's graft is finished now, the times are looking .up, The toast's " A thousand more a year. Pass round a foaming cup." And comrades meet, home circles close, and work is "chucked" for play, It's Maoriland's big "smoke.' now. We loaf on Christmas Day. The Bohemian, i