LADIES' GOSSIP.

Press, Volume LIII, Issue 9340, 14 February 1896, Page 2

LADIES ' GOSSIP.

" Weekly Press and Referee."

Writing on "The Wifo's Private Purse," in the Quet.n, Mrs Alec Tweedie says volumes might be written on " Impecunious Wives." Northing is more deplorable than to see a woman living in apparent luxury without a penny in her puree ! Many marriages have been rendered unhappy simply because of this money question. This alone is sufficient reason to" make it absolutely necessary that every woman about to marry should know exactly what her position will be. Of course it is quite impossible to draw hard and fast rules where every case is different, and every circumstance altered ; but that every married woman should have a private purse teems absolutely necessary to procure any sort of happiness for either husband or wife.

Many girls are brought up to know little or nothing of the value of money—a very grave mistake for any parents to make in the education of their children ; but when euch a fault has occurred, it should be the husband's first duty to instruct his wife in the way to keep her books—tell her exactly how much she may have to spend, and then leave her to work out the details for herself.

Girls should certainly be given an allowance when they are ten years old. If that allowance is only threepence a week, it teaches them the value of threepence, and that, by saving it in a month, they will have secured a shilling, and with that shilling they may buy a little present for mother's birthday, or for nurse at Christmas. That threepence is their own ; it is a possession, and, by learning its real value, they learn the value of larger sums as life advances. At twelve a girl is quite old enough to have an allowance for gloves and ribbons, and, after three years' experience with these trifles, she certainly ought to be paid monthly a sum that will cover the cost of her boots, shoos, stockings, handkerchiefs, lacc3, collars, ties, &c—all the little things in fact. This girl, when she comes out at eighteen, or, better still, at nineteen, is thoroughly capable of looking after a proper dress allowance to cover everything, for experience lms taught her the value of money, and she is not likely to flounder, although she may occasionally make mistakes. No rule can be laid down for such an allowance, for, while some parents can afford £100 a year, others cannot give more than £10, and the girl must cut her coat according to her cloth, always remembering that to be well dressed is to be suitably dressed, and according to one's position in life.

Then she marries. At least it is with those who marry that this article deals. The girl may or may not have a little money of her own ; but every sensible father will settle some sum upon his daughter, and every man who is worth anything will make some marriage settlement upon his wife,' as well as the furniture; for we all know at least two or three awful cases of ruin or death where a wife and little ones have been )etb starving through want of proper provision at a time when proper provision might have been made. No father should let his daughter leave his house until he knows she is provided against want. We do not say luxury, but provided against starvation and destitution, such as may necessitate her living on the bitter bread of friendly charity.

Whatever tho husband's income may be, or rather tbe joint incomes may be, to our mind, tho3o incomes should be equally divided as regards expenditure between the young couple. To many this may sound a startling suggestion, but it'is one, nevertheless, that generally works very satisfactorily. None but housekeepers know how very little of their money is really spent on themselves.

Most certainly every wife should have her private purse, for, as a wretched woman said only the other day, "I would rather go without dinner for a week, or a dress for a year, than go to my husband on Saturday morning with the books. He is always wanting extra delicacies at table, and then grumbling becaues the butcher's bill is £1 19s 6d this week when it was only £1 lie 4d last week. I vainly remind him he insisted on having sweetbreads on Tuesday and fillet on Friday, and that that has made the difference ; but he cannot, or will not see it, and grumbles and haggles until he makes mc quite ill, and then he pays the books, leaving mc with a few shillings for 'current expenses ' till the next Saturday. He ordered some wood the other day for which 6s had to be paid at the door. He forgot to leave mc the money, and when cook brought the bill I had to own I had not got five shillings, and to borrow that sum from her. Oh," the humiliation of it J" And her eyes filled with tears as she spoke. That man's income is probably £800 or £900 a year, and his wife has to borrow five shillings from her own servant to pay for the firewood !

Such a husband ought to be ashamed of himself—he degrades himself, he lowers and harasses his wife. Let him go seriously into the subject of his income, decide how it is to be portioned off, hand the wife over her monthly allowance, and never discuss a bill or a butcher with her again. It is to her interest to do her best, and she is certain to do it, and life will be made brighter for both accordingly. Yes; let the wife have her allowance. Trust her, and she will never deceive; praise her when she does well, and ehe will always try to do better ; but dole out the shillings to her grudgingly, and she will try to cheat you in the pennies, not from wickedness, but because her pride will not let her own to her dearest friend that she actually has not twopence to pay the 'bua fare ! Trust is very seldom misplaced between a husband and wife, while suspicion and prying on either side often end in serious troubb, and the less unpleasant subjects each as money are discussed the more likely the man and woman ore to jog along merrily.

Such an expression as "impecunious wives " should never have been framed—such a position as a penniless wife should never have been created. It is the duty of every man to share his income with his wife, "whether it be great or small, and it is equally the duty of every wife to do the most she possibly can with that income for the comfort and happiness of all about her. If she is treated lavishly in days of plenty she is all the more likely to save expense in days of impoverished incomes. The nps and downs of life come to us all, and that is why we should early realise the value of money, and appreciate the necessity of setting aside that "something " for the rainy days, the mere knowledge of its possession giving happiness and peace of mind alike to husband and wife.

Money does not bring happiness ; but it softens tho road to much unpleasantness, and whatever an income may be, the only chance of peace of mind is to live and spend rigorously within 'its limits.