II.—THE DELIGHTS OF THE BUSH

Press, Volume LIII, Issue 9315, 16 January 1896, Page 2

II.—THE DELIGHTS OF THE BUSH

A Chee in Christmas Number of the Bulletin. Among a certain fatuous class of writers there has always existed a custom of sending forth gushes of gladsome song, and warbling, in more or less tuneful warbs, about the pleasures of country life. The miserable wretch who is condemned by hard fate to live in the city, with all its 'inconveniences—such as po3tal deliveries, and newspapers, and shops, and trams—is held up to the gaze of public sympathy ; while all are requested to envy the lucky individual whose habitation is in the backwoods, about 387 miles from nowhere in particular; who lives in a humpy made of seven sheets of stringy-bark ; with three big rocks on top to hold the roof, and who has to walk seven miles for his mail. When he does walk the seven miles ho usually finds that there is no mail, as the maihnan couldn't cross Buggabulla •'crick," or has lost his horses, or is drunk, or something. It is time that some hard-fisted resident of the back-country formed himself into a Royal Commission to enquire into the best mode of inflicting capital punishment, diversified with floggings, on the perjurers who so wantonly trifle with the immortal truth. If a ton or two of these miscreants were placed 'in the hands of a conscientious for-warding-agent, and dumped down in judiciously chosen spots in the black-blocks where they would have to chop wood, and cook damper, and boil junk, and "graft" hard all day, and walk tc the township for provisions, and do without society and clean shirts and socks, the amount of imbecile verse on tho glorious lot of the bush-dweller would be reduced .by several cubic yards. I know it—l have lived in the bush till the light of my once beauteous hazel eyes has become dimmed with suffering, and the noble chestnut curls that once adorned my commanding brow have vanished into thin hair. And when something does occur which momentarily lifts a man from the black gulf of despondency into which he has sunk, it is morally certain that something else occurs which has the effect of making him feel much the same as ever—only more so. Here is an illustration. One of the many afflictions which I bear— with as large a quantity of fortitude as is possible for one who, after all, is but human —is the nightly visitation of numerous bovines of inquiring character and assorted sexes. My hut is not fenced in ; indeed, it would probably make no difference if it were, for, when the average bush cow means business, such a trifle as a fence does not daunt her. So, about the time I am snugly settled in my bunk, and have knocked the ashes out of my last pipe, some robust young steer begins to paw up the dirt outside with sickening thuds,'preparatory to organising a party to prospect for soap, or towels, or shirts, or similar delicacies. Pretty soon his comrades, and the milky mothers of the herd, and the little cowlets and eleven or eight-working bullocks chip in. They eat up any soap that is left about, also saddlecloths and undershirts and pyjamas and socks. Then they ''moo." Singly at first, then as a number of duettists, afterwards in trios, and eventually their fresh young voices ring out in the frosty atmosphere as a full orchestral symphony. Sometimes they go away after this, but generally they stay till daylight. i One night I arose in my wrath and a brief j shirt, and hunted them all away, through a very irritating wattle-scrub, for about two miles and a distance. When I returned, covered with splinters and perspiration, I found that I had overlooked two brindled steers and their ma. They were inside my hut chewing my blankets. What is the use of a man forming a resolution not to'swear ? The exertion of pursuit and the subsequent wrath did not agree with mc. T took a chill and afterwards contracted inflammation of the lungs, combined with two large abscesses on the liver and a rupture of the bicuspid artery. I also stubbed my great toe while pursuing the oxen. Prompt remedial measures were necessary, so I made a roomy mustard-plaster and applied it to the ailing parts. Next day I threw it out. It seemed to excite some curiosity among the leading members of the herd" which visited mc at sundown. A meditative, matronly-looking old cow elbowed one of her daughters out of the way and tackled the poultice in a sort of nil admirari manner But she got a fair grip and laid it well back on her tongue. Then the poultice began to get its work in. The female ox laid it down, sighed deeply, and went away to look for sour grass. The next candidate was a red steer that I had once helped to pull out of a shaft. On that occasion, he had put down his head and " charged " his rescuers as soon as he emerged. He opened the plaster out before sampling it, and then got about seven ounces of the mustard well under his tongue before his suspicions were aroused. Then he retired to the creek, breathing hard. I thought I had hit on a splendid idea. Visions of taking out a patent for the invention, and getting about £10,000 royalty from the Agricultural Bureau, flashed across my mind. I was positively exhilarated. For the first time in thirteen months I smiled ! The thought that I had at last got level with those piratical beeves had a truly wonderful effect on my sorrow-laden bosom. For five minutes I was ecstatically happy. Then one of my most constant interviewers came along. His name is Strawberry, and he is a working bullock. "Working" is a courtesy title, given to Strawberry Because hois yoked up with the team, but it ha 3 no real significance, for Strawberry has long since abandoned any idea of pulling. He is a gaunt male beast, and is scored with ancient whip marks, so that he looks like a railway map. His favourite food is gunnybaes, but he will also eat tarpaulins and bridles. Strawberry ambled up, with a modest

3onfidence oozing out of every square inch )f his weather-beaten hide. He swallowed ;he poultice without a tear. In fact, he .ingered over it as if he loved it, and 1 saw u'm chewing the cud of that mustardcaster three weeks afterwards. j When I get over this spree, I am going to try the effect on Strawberry of a compost of arsenious acid spread on dynamite.