SEARCH LIGHTS.

Press, Volume LI, Issue 8789, 10 March 1894, Page 7

SEARCH LIGHTS.

Curses, not loud but deep, will be heaped on the devoted heads of the reverend Dons who have abolished Capping Day. There is certainly something very oold-bloodeo about receiving your diploma of honour through the unfeeling orifice of the pillar box, and palmed by the unromantio pvnny postman. And it i$ much to be regretted that Capping Day could nob bo continued in some improved form, whioh should be the result of a compromise between tho Dona who regard it as a solemn oaoaaion for the deliverance of sententious oratory aad the undergrade who look on it as a students carnival. However, the students have oertainly brought it on themselves. Had they been willing to yield ou oue point—that of giving the orators invited to tho ceremony a fair and courteous hearing—they would, no doubt, have gained the other—Uoonse to jubilate during the rest of the performance. But, after all, there is no reason why Diploma Day should cease to be celebrated. It need merely bo changed from a University to a College function. If tho Professorial Council and the Board of Governors of Canterbury College aro approaohed on the subject it would be quite practicable to have a day set apart for a function analogous to Prize Day in the Boys' and Girls' High School, or Speech Day at the School of Art. Such graduates as were able to bo present iv person could hand their diplomas to the College authorities for public aud official presentation, and tha oulv actual difference would bo that the Chairman of the Board of Governors, instead of Mr Chancellor's deputy, would preside. I would suggest to the students that they at oiico tuke the matter in hand, and, through one of their societies or organisations, approach tho authorities with a view to arranging the matter. There are now several of their own number members of the Board who would doubtless espousr their cause with zeal, if only for the sske of justifying by occasional use the small fortuue that was spent on the handsome College Hall. And after all, the students chiefly valuo the ceremony for the sake of a holiday from lectures, and, what la perhaps still more important, the pleasant little "afters" in the evening. The excuse suggested for abolishing the ceremony was very ingenious. The Senate was asked to consider whether "tho money annually spent on the ceremony might not be more advantageously devoted to establishing an extra Junior Scholarship." This I suppose was intended ad captandum tho undergraduates. But as a matter of fact the abolition of the ceremony, I believe, will result in a loss rather than in a saving lof money. For graduates have to pay for their parchment diplomas seven guineas for the M.A., and three for the B.A. degree. This confers the privilege of shaking hands with the Chancellor's deputy, receiving a piece of parchment, and seeing their names Srinted in the Calendar. But the privilege is ear at the price, especially to the proverbially impecunious student. They get, without payment, a formal announcement on common foolscap that the degree has been conferred, and this is quite sufficient documentary evidence in applying for posts, &c. The parchment is merely a luxury. That the majority—though not all—"pay up " now is chiefly because they do not wish to appear singular on Diploma Day, and shrink from letting their fellows know they haven't got seven guineas to spend, if Diploma Day is abolished I predict that a yearly increasing number will cease to take up their diplomas, and the Senate be left with a minus quantity of funds to " found an extra scholarship with." This is a consideration that may possibly help to have the ceremony reinstated.

I believe the Admiralty in despatching a squadron to Australian waters, though nob perhaps altogether insensible to the advantage it would be in case of war, are iv reality actuated by far higher, less bloodthirsty, more gallant motives. The Orlando and the rest of the fleet are really seat out to these parts hy those dear,' wicked old Admiralty bigwigs to give our colonial girls a treat, and to encourage "naval engagements" of the peaceable kind. For the next ten days tho male youth of Christchurch will wear a woe-begone expression, as though they pitied men; they will consume a prodigious quantity of tobacco, desert Freeman's for billiard rooms, and at dances—if there are- ony —will develop an unusual infatuation for the card-room, where they will gather in knots to discuss a petition to Parliament for a protective tariff on imported naval officers. For against gold braid and epaulettes what can our customary suits of solemn black, our plain unadorned caxtda virilis avail ? However, it is some consola* tion to reflect thab on this occasion the objects of the general admiration will be officers and Englishmen, and not giggling sprats of youngsters in brass buttons and sky-blue cloaks, reeking of garlic and vapid wine, attached to a Boating reformatory cruising in the guise of a training ship.

Strange tricks time plays with language I Phiiologers could furnish a quaint list of suoh tricks to the curious. And sometimes they throw a significant light ou the workings of the mind of a people. That word " Billy,'? for instance; originally it meant whole, regenerated, as the religionists would say " saved." Then " free from sin" " innocent, and so gradually "harmless" "foolish," "silly." Are we to accept this as the .unconscious commentary of a people on the effect of religion? Or again—an illustration of the converse process—take the word "to muse," which now describes the divine meditation of a Milton once expressed tho action of a dog carrying hi* snout in the air ! So too with conventional abbreviations- and formulas. D.T. for instance. What ft "heavy declension" is there from Doctor Theologite to delirium tremens. "Gent" again served once to describe a man of birth and position—now Used by drapers to describe curtain "lines" in hosiery and underclothing. F.R.G.S., F.L.5.,F.G.5.~ titles once an evidence of distinction in this or that branch of learning or research now connote no more than tbe payment of five guineas to a. Chartered Society. And even I). V., instead of expressing a pious relianco on the will of Providence means little more than " weather permitting."

Bot what suggested this paragraph was really the letters S.PQ.R. on the back cover of a Weekly Press. Once the most significant geogiaphical and political ' formula in the world, _ S.P.Q.R; jrytn* bolised the great commonwealth of antiquity whose sway reached from the pillars of Hercnle* to the bank* of the Euphrates. Senatus Populutqueßotnanus now alack ! it is used ia a tradesman's advertisement, " Small profits and quick returns." Cosmic bathos! And yet ,nob, without a certain propriety—onco "the formula of the great Empire of antiquity, now the symbol of the great Empire of today—the nation of shopkeepers, '

His Lordship tbe Bishop of Christchnrch had an experience yesterday afternoon which must have given hira serious misgivings as to the wisdom of emancipating women. -In the first place his meeting was carefully packed by the ginger-pop enthusiast* in petticoats, who succeeded in outvoting all the resolutions put to it. Aud then when the meeting broke up in disorder, as his Lordship was leaving the Hall, an amiable female, setting him by the flap of hi* episcopal coat, and shaking her dainty little hand (large 7) in his episcopal face, exclaimed, M I »at*s yer I 1 'ates yer worse than if you wo* a drunkard !"

I met a man in Christchnroh the other day who is a direct descendant of William the Conqueror of happy memory. Of course, I asked him to have a little something to keep body and soul toge-h/sri I had mot distingnished people before—people whoa* ancestoni had « ? come ever* teith the Cow queror. Bat this man was a lineal descendant of the great Norman himself. "May beyott know Queen Victoria herself," I said with beted breath; "related to her, ia

a manner of speaking V* "Well, yes," he said. " And Albert Edward and I are a sort of cousins, having a common ancestor. But I dropped him—after that baccarat business you know. I can stand a fellow taking a hand at nap, or even straddling the blind—but I pass baccarat." My reverence for him increased. " Have another !" " Thankee kindly, don't miud if I do." " But," I asked " How can you prove your descent — roll of Battle Abbey and all that sorb of thing?" "Not at all—the case is much simpler than that. These heraldic genealogies are very complicated affairs ; I've got no confidence in them. I rely on mathematics." "As how ?" said L " Well, you see, I had two parents—do you follow?" Of course I followed. " And they had two each—that makes four grandparents. And they had two each—that makes eight great-grand-parents. And so on—oo able for every generation. Do you understand mathematics 2" " I should smile." " Well, now, since the conquest is 828 years—in round numbers twenty-five generations. Now work thab out and see how many ancestors that gives meat the time of the Conquest." I worked it out. *' Look out Log. 2. Multiply by 25 for the number of generations. Look ou* the number whose log. is the mantissa. Then determine the number of figures from the characteristic. And then where are you!" I worked it out—33 odd mi.lions. ■ *' So you see at the Conquest I had 33 odd millions of ancestors ! Now at that time the population of England was only between two and three millions. And making j every allowance for ancestors overlapping j through marriage of cousins, &c, I must have __a _o ine conquest at least ten times as many ancestors as the whole population of England. Therefore every man and woman in England was my ancestor. And therefore a fortiori I am a descendant of William the Conqueror." I was awestruck. Unconsciously I took my hat off. But when I noticed he accepted a third drink without hintingat returning the compliment I began to get sceptical. "But, I say, you know, if you keep that up back through the generations you get billions and billions of ancestors—ever increasing." "That's so," he said, " the base of the pyramid, as it were, is ever widening." "But," I meekly objected, " how the deuce do you manage to find your way back to two again—in the garden of Eden." "Ah !" he replied, with a sagacious nod as he drained his third glass, " that way madness lies." Thb Bohemian.