SEARCH LIGHTS.

Press, Volume LI, Issue 8727, 24 February 1894, Page 8

SEARCH LIGHTS.

Regatta by instalments may now be looked upon as a settled custom in Canterbury. Why Captain Edwin should always choose regatta day as the occasion on which to raise a buster on Lake Foreyth it is hard to tay. But there are some rowing men who look on the unfavourable weather on Thursday as a special visitation of Providence for the sins of bungling incapacity and mismanagement which characterised laet year's performance. There is something in it. The second instalment on the estuary yesterday, seems to have consisted chiefly in a wild hunt for "staked" —in more senses than one. The aim of the officials seems tc have been to construct iv the estuary a species of Chinese puzzle, made of stakes so planted as to make a sori of maze or labyrinth. And the crews put in the afternoon in exciting and highly diverting endeavours to discover the course. In the scull 3, for example, Daly and Hume cheerfully ehot down the wrong channel to begin with. They then held a consultation and paused to " consider their position." After due deliberation they decided they were wrong, and by mutual consent, turned back. An exciting race. Time: No consequence. In the Pairs chance favoured the Star crew, and as luck would have it they hit the right course. Canterbury and Lyttelton got ou the wrong one. But realising their position they manfully wobbled across the sandbanks and got to the winning post that way. But now a difficulty arose. They had both missed a certain peg half-way down the course. So back they went iv an exciting race for second money. Canterbury ran into a barge or two and round the wrong peg. Lyttelton, in the lottery of fate, drew the right peg aud paddled m to the wincing post a second titne to claim th * heroes' guerdon—£2 for second place. Ltcit Dot be imagined that theae proceedings were uninteresting ; they were pleasingly diversified by ingenious attempts at louling — j fouling now being recognised as a high art ] —by running into barges, sandbanks, and other little things like that, and by a limited quantity of strong language. Now, I have an idea for next year's regatta. .Rowing on Lake Forsyth except in coal barges is obviously out of the question. "Pegging" on the i.stuary seems beset wiih difficulties, and "angling" on the Waimakariri is, after last year's experience, not to j oe thought of. Where, then, shall next years j regatta be held ? The answer is obvious— ou | theChristchurch canal. It is true we haven't got a canal, bub we have a Canal Reserve. Let the boats be put ou wheels and propelled by long " sweeps " among the waving tussocks. There ie nothing far-fetched in '.he idea; it in the same principle we apply in skating 2 we haven't got ice so we use rollers. Cure should be taken that no official is appointed who has ever been inspected of capacity or impartiality. And the " pots " should have substantial value. Under such circumstances, there is no reason why the Regatta of '95 should not be as successful as it will be unique. In Any case it could not be worse than the fiascos of '93 aud '94. I have received quite a number of indignant letters from lady correspondents who protest against my charging the sex with an Incapacity for understanding "ye arte and theorek" of cricket. The idea! as if they would ever think of "mixing up wickets and goals. They assure mc they can distinguish cricket from football as easily as a heron from a handsaw. Well in an age when the most advanced of them smoke cigarettes and ride bicycles, and even play tennis in tailor-made trousers, I suppose nothing is very difficult to them. "And I will admit that they understand the niceties of some games to perfection. Billiards, for instance. And in proof of my contrition I will tell them a story of how I was once "taken, down" by a lady over billiards. The point of the joke is against myself; but they'll appreciate it all the more on that account. - ■•

It was this way: A party of us were staying at L&ke Taupo, and it was proposed that we should make the aauent of Moant .Tauhara. The mountain is, only three thousand feet high, and its grass grown slopes are easy enough, of ascent; but I had eaten a very liberal luncheon, it was a particularly hot day, and on the whole 1 wasn't taking any volcanoes just then. Besides, I prefer green baize to greensward any day, and the billiard cue to the alpenstock. So I let jny friends gc on and slipped into che billiard room—as I thought—unobserved. I put in the afternoon very agreeably playing with the marker. At dinner the party, who had returned, were relating their adventures and monopolising the attention of the ladies, I couldn't stand that of course, so I suddenly chipped into the conversation with a racy and highly sensational account of the ascent. My friends sat aghast at my audacity; but I was, as I thought, the hero of the hour. IThe ladies were all attention, and one in particular seemed to take an absorbing interest in my adventures. To her I directed my conversation:— •' Yes—then suddenly we saw facing us a yawning chasm, hundreds of feet deep, and some twenty feet wide. The rest shrank back in fear; but nothing could daunt mc. Setting my teeth, and gathering myself together for oue huge spring across the abyss, I planted my alpenstock firmly, and vaulted over.!" "Did you," she asked, "did you—a— chalk the end of it first ?" I collapsed. She had seen mc through the windows of the billiard room. Theks has been a good deal of speculation over a mysterious case reported in the Sapers. It is a case in Chambers, and is escribed as "Re——, a solicitor." Now I have heard of people who sign their name with a cr&ss, " his mark," but never before of any one who signed with a dash. The suggestion is made by one man that the unfortunate solicitor in question, in whose case the_ Law Society applied for an order for interim suspension, was cursed at baptism with a n#ne which happens to be a swearword. But this I fear is an untenable hypothesis. A LBJAIi friend of mine explains the whole matter in the simplest way possible. It is it appears a legal "fiction." And, of course, legal fictions are such delightfully lucid and simple things. It appears to be the custom of the Courts that in cases coming up in Chambers effecting the status of a member of the Bar his name is never mentioned. The presumption is that he is innocent till he is proved guilty. So it is in the case of a common or garden layman charged with an —hem—irregularity. But it is farther presumed in the case of the barrister that he is a gentleman, and so his honour is jealously guarded by convention. That I suppose is where the legal fiction comes in. His came is nerer mentioned in the hearing of the case; in fact it is presumed that neither Bench nor Bar know the subject they are talking about. This again is a action sot difficult to understand. Of course if ihe Bar like to amuse themselves by bolster-* Ing up their dignity by these antiquated conventions, and choose to base their pro* feseional gentility on a legal fiction, it is a very harmless diversion. It strikes a common layman as a trifle silly. And the incessant bandying about of the word " blank"—" my blank client," " blank solicitor aforesaid," **tne blank, blank case," &c, is apt U» sound ambiguous, and seriously embarrass the dignity oi the Court. Th* Bohemian.