A DAY OFF IN THE MALVERN HILLS.

Press, Volume XLVIL, Issue 7730, 9 December 1890, Page 6

A DAY OFF IN THE MALVERN HILLS.

■ We got to be very chummy with the waiter. It is always well to get in with the waiter. Whether you are friendly with *the proprietor of the hotel or not, doesn't matter, but if the- waiter Is down on you there is sure to be trouble. We tola him that we were two poor and friendless creatures who did not exactly know what to do with ourselves after dinner. I said to him, " I suppose it Is the fashionable thing here to climb the bills after dark." " Oh, bless yon, no, sir," answered the waiter. " There wouldn't be any good in doing that, and then, you see, you might fail over something there." Whether this was a delicate reference to the strength of the bottle of wine he had brought us, or whether ie merely Indicates tbat the hills were not a safe place for a night walk, I do not know, but anyhow my worst fears were realised. There was no refuge in the hills after nightfall, » 1 the bills are about all there is at Malvern. -'* Haven't you a theatre or anything of -that sort in Great Malvern f I asked.

"Oh, yea, sir," said the waiter, anxious to stick up for his town. " We have a very fine theatre here, indeed, sir,—a very fine theatre. The theatre is as fine aa anything there is in London."

"Oh, well," I said, "that will do use we are not very particular; if it is even half as good as the Paris Opera-house we will be satisfied."

The waited coughed apologetically, and then be added, "lam very sorry to say, sir; that there is nothing going on there this week.'*. Now, a very fine theatre, in which there is nothing going on, is almost as bad as no theatre at all. I was about to be led into some remarks derogatory of .Great Malvern as a pleasure resort; when the waiter bent over and whispered to vi in a sort of stage aside: " There is a theatre, sir, where there is something going on, but I don't think you would like it, sir." Like it I, We would like anything in the state we were then In. I don't know but we might even have gone to a musichall if such a tbiog bad existed in Great Malvern. Like itl Of course we would like It. ** Where is this theatre i" we both demanded.

" Well, sir," he said, "it is a goodish bit from here. It is down at Malvern Link, about a mile from the hotel." "And you are sure there is something going on there 1" " I'm afraid, sir," the waiter reiterated, "that you won't like it very well. Some Eersons have gone there sir, and tbey have een a little disappointed. Tou see, sir, it is only a country company that is playing there—from Wales, 1 think." "Ob, that is all right," I said, "we are sure to like it. What are they playing tbere to-night?" "That I don't know, sir," said the waiter; "they did give 'Bloody Jim, or the Terror of the Hills,' last week, but - don't know what's on this week, sir."

" How do you get there T' I asked. " Well, sir, you go straight along the road till you come to the third turning to the right, then you go down that to the necond turning to the left, keep up the hill till you come to a lane, and then you go down that a bit, and perhaps after chat you had better ask the way from someone"

" Oh," I said, " that's clear enou«h,|there is no trouble about finding the place, thank you.'-'■ And so on* we started. We did more " asking a policeman" that night than I, ever remember having ludulged In before. At last we realised that at this rate of progress we wouldn't reach (be Cambrian Theatre that month. Now and then we took a wrong turning, and, tumbled up against the Mulvern Hills, and nearly fell over them; tbeu we took another turning and came within an ace of tumbling down the valley; so at last we chartered a man to. take us to the theatre. 1 asked him what tbe cost would be, and; be said he would do it for 3d. and' as this was cheaper than stumbling over all that part of England, we agreed to hire him. He took us down a long lane, past the Salvation Army tent, then through the fields and over a etile or two, and finally; down a steep hill, at the bottom of which we saw some sort.of a building with a brilliant light burning outside. ""There," said the man, with a touch' of : deep emotion in his voice, " that is the theatre." "My dear sir "I said to him. as I paid him the 3d, "I can tell by the tone of your voice that you are laboring under some deep and probably secret trouble; wet are here entirely on pleasure, so if any advice we can give you will be of any services, do not hesitate to confide In mc." The mau wrung my hand gratefully, and said he. was indeed in a terrible.quandary, and did hot know exactly what to do. .There comes a time in the life of every man when he has, perhaps, to, make a deliberate choice between two evils. Iv Our man's Case that time had come. Now that he was at the theatre he wished co go in there, he said. I asked him how much the admission was, - and he answered: "Threepence." "Very well, then,"l said. " You have tha threepence. Why do you not go ? " At this he burst into tears, aud said that he also wanted to get a drink of beer, and as threepence was. all he had, he could not have both the beer and the theatre. That was his quandary. '■"* "I chink we can fix it for you,"'l said, with that impulsive generosity characteristic of mc. "Here is an additional threepence. We will raise the price of this journey to sixpence. Then you can have both the mental and material refreshment."

With heartfelt emotion the man thanked us deeply, and we went our .way, the better prepared to enjoy the intellectual treat before us from the fact that we had' made one human creature happy. What a terrible thing it is that in such a wet country as England any man should have to go dry 1 "Threepenny or sixpenny seats, sir?" said tbe woman who was .dealing out the tickets !••■"•' " Are* the sixpenny seats the best you have in the house?" leaked. "Oh, bless you, no, sir," she said with surprise. "We have shilling seats as .well."; :•■■ "■; -^■'■■■•■ "Very well," I said. ."Give mc two shilling seals." - This was such an unexpected demand, that for tbe moment tbe woman didn't know where to find the tickets. "We are In the profession ourselves," I said, " add so we would like to have good seats when we see a good performance." The theatre waa densely packed, every threepenny and sixpenny seat being taken; but for the shilling seats there had apparently, been little demand, as only, two persons were sitting on them. There were three rows of seats, whicb consisted simply of boards placed upon chairs or benches of some sort, and on these boards and the.back of the benches waa placed red cloth. These three rows were directly in front of the stage, and as we took our places, I beard a _i_pennyer behind usay.: .-.-;.- - "Hello 1 here comes the duke and his lordship."

The judicious expenditure of a shilling confers great distinction on a person In some parts of England. • The theatre Itself seemed to be partly off boards and partly of canvas. The floor was the native heath of the place, and so I imagine the theatre was only temporary. Probably the company took it away with them when they left. The house was packed full, with the exception of the three rows of seats at a shilling, and a more enthusiastic and appreciative audience the most exacting manager could not desire. We bad hardly got seated, when some* one Connected with the theatre came to us and said:

"I understand you are members of the profession f" ••Oh." I answered, jauntily,, "yes, we are in a kind of way connected with dramatic art."

Ia that case, he desired us to take back our shillings. He said members of the profession were always welcome,- and ho could not think of charging ns. We. bowever, would not hear of that, and insisted on him keeping the money. "Perhaps," he continued, "you are managers on the look out for actors 1" " Ob, not at all," I said," we are merely humble members, of the profession ourselves. My name is Irving, tolerably wellknown in London and in the provinces." The manager was delighted to meet mc. and shook hands conalally. "This," I said, introducing my friend, "is Mr John L. Toole, of London. "Dear mc," said tbe manager, a shade Of Suspicion crossing over bis face, "I understood tbat Mr Toole was in Australia." "My dear fellow," I said to him In a whisper, "that Is what the public generally believe. Of coarse to you I need make no secret of the matter, for I am sure that It will go no further. The fact is that Mr" Toole has been so tired out with dinners and receptions, and things of that sort, that be has given, out that he is in Australia, and reports are sent every now and then from that island to this one which tend tocorroboratethedeluslon.This. i,ves Mr Toole and myself ths opportunity

hopeyou won't mention iW!-****! not. mI IS we Th„ tZ a *? SLW the pjy. mm ** m _f ?s namo of.the exclti-bX.*,. wsathen well on thro«_- *„ Ba _ **Mss was entitled "The GiwylA **»tls *now w what tHlffe" M»3 themselves Into beforn »„ i l6 ? had Z* but the situation of °thia_. ™**ufi our upon the *» **££ plicated and serlousTlt ZJL***? Wa Countess of t3omMMni person of the name offSt M_**»-*sl case marriage was IndeedUS__l h she ever came to marry B _ch . are * R** mystery that is enebroudS fa li!** fl the first act that we did"_at„L %»*« 01 was a thorou-h vllUbiyoSSSi dfW from the very look of hli_? »_*_**« black moustache and a SIU .„** • his face that gave him -WAv-i 806 ** oa He bad a habit of wearing _J SSt < hilt of his sword aad maflSJ ffi?**3t implement stick out behlud fnlaL^ 9l manner; he bad also a_ oh^ 1 habit of ordering peoole into T^? 6 dungeons in his <Sfe them in the mor_!_g trii theW^ not like St. Mars at all. m * 1 W The countess, I took It had h»_, _ before, because she had a large as her*elf and M beautiful. Tbls daughter with somebody who was thl-tAj 8 ** with the Gipsy King, Md Bf___V* h l resolved that she should marr»T,*»» of his own choosing, who of«Ll l<nr *i als a very undesirable just as we sat down hi o_r i_* , w «*l> St. Mars had locked the g£\l3} *M? and set one of his minions ffi__/_-» This minion, who was slipped away for a moment to steal a bottle from the ceU_rf w fe£ countess happened In just at t_«l» a . t& « and let the girl out. Why tbii_ l{ * ,v run away together was a mva_*» S* the countess had apparently Thi 81 way; she placed an opiate in Lft of the glasses that were oa tWT.S? 1 locked the girl iv the room StiJfh slipped out just as the ml_lo_'___ , T with his hand on the neck ot '__*-> bottle. St. Mara dropped jf .?2fß things were going oa »U rtotTiJ requested a glass of wlue. %* 'g_ drauk the wine and Ibm_«iu;_* went to sleep. Then the thrSSSs came, and the crowd was brsa___? A trap door was raised, and |fi|S of the girl with the GlpX fe came up through the trap door. ThibH door leaned against tbe arm of thi_S_ ing man, and tbe Gipsy Xl n(t exfi-St the young exile that if the KH» happened to fall it would lock on „»£ They gov the girl out of theTSSRS were just about to ro through tlw-S into tbe secret passage that led o _,_Z when the sleeper moved aud baoa the trap door, locking the lover? and i_t Gipsy King in tho castle ! I shall asm forget the groan of horror that came (rathe sympathetic sixpenny aud t_r«M_» audience as this catastropho-whtetHl-i might easily bave foreaeeu—hsppsnfji St. Mars wakened up very suddenly te a man who had been drugged, aadfo with the guard, who also equal suddenness, began to fight wltstb Gipsy King and the young exile. Tiw shouted, and several more came te tae_ assistance, and one of the mom de«j>_*_ bahd-to-hand encounters ever isen oaur stage took place. Tbe desperate combtt was so thrilling tbat there were cries boa the back seats of " Sit down, ale down fa front 1" and from those in the rear, tthm view was obstructed by people la Croat who were standing up. I must admit that St. Mars and bit miuious did not do the fight as well &i they might have done. Instead cf all rush* ing on the two persons at once, «_> cumbered by the shrieking young woman St. Mars would flourish his sword aad* whack the weapon of the Glpsj King three br four times. Then ho would uuul aside, and another of hia men would corns up and do the same and stand aside, ihm a third; and so forth, and by thetfnia tfeef had all had a whack at tho Gipsy ElngL St. Mars would begin again. Meanwh_s the two lovers made off during tha mcls, and got on a balcony, got. down In am way, swam the moat aud were free, tfcs Gipsy King, holdl_g the whola milit_ry force of the castle at bay, sprang cut of s window aud aNo disappeared, leaving tk Villain and St. Mara g_„e_iaft their in impotent rage. The next scene was a triumph ol step carpentering. .It represented an miti chasm and torrent wherajefle Gipsy lisf made his headquarters. The Gipsy Kiag was captured by the villlsa and St. Msrs was going to be put to exquisite tortus when he shouted to one ot nit, own rasa fei shoot him, which the man did, with m&s extraordinary result. The pdpsy Mi apparently dying, and then someboiij* tumbled into the river. Tho Gipsy KkJ jumped up and sprang into the termi He rescued the drowning person, e«rrjteg him across the stage and placing him %i the feet of the countess, for he irastk countess' long-lost oon. The Gipsy Stag having performed this extraordlnftrt IMS, laid down and died peaceably, applause of the audience and tbe curou came down on the pathetic scene. During the interval which now ocsanw after the awful tragedy which m hm just seen, and the farce which was w follow, the chief actor, withldßtoge«T«™ on, came on the stage, holding ia hubm n pickle-bottle that seemed to ba foil « neas. He said: "Ladies and gonUsrasa, I have here, aa you see, an ordiaar/ m» bottle which ban been tilled to the «w with peas. Each of you, doubtless, to* bottle of this kind, and each ot yea &s easily fill It with peas, if you wast to. mi count them. We will give nextMeßfer* beautiful eight-day clock to thi» WWJ who guesses the number of peas mt & in this bottle. On Monday, »•*«/* come in and pay your money St tM office, give In a written name and address and the, amountj«fW that you think is in this bottle. TM* who guesses nearest tde number w_J « presented with this very uselul pfwsa, At this there was treinendonßapirt»' but the actor had not yet- _eiel*s P® ferring his benefits. . MA - * There Is another little plan *M»* have," he said, "and that U, a beautiful silver-plated tea sef*«*[, *E tea service will be given to t» makes the most English words out c? tj words* Tea Service.' You m eaawm letter that you flud Iv the tyre wg •Tea Service/ Tha Iht ol wwjjJJ given in at the box office, and tha «w« will be awarded to the one who h&s»>*> the most words out of iL "Our bill for next week will te»"g thing that is rarely wen- «rtj»j| the great cities. On MondsjmwJj give the well-known Sbakespeafea gg of 'Othello.' On Tuesday Ot> f| wiU be 'Bip Van pinkie.' Jgl& henday we will give a local incident, which occurred, salgjv some of you know, near „reat ? l z'*.h .Th? p-f/la entitled 'The Mardert* Some ofty years village of the i*w murdered. The man who srw* «Ln seen to do so, but through eeme e%|^ 3 was not apprehended at the « ffi y*«; y j he totally disappeared. It **« 1 had succeeded on getting on j •Ship sailing for the colonies «r ] foreigu country. Anyhow, &•«* V j caught. Many years after™*' £& J they were pulling down au old j Vlll-goof Whatyoucalllt, a skeleton, which, from marasosMj j and. some malformation of «■;? > recognised to be the skeleton «»" '&A i derer. How he got there i knew-whether he bad chmmM** %_ or merely tried to hide j ,be known, but the eminent oW*-"- y j ! has made this tho subject of a/'"L, & I • I dealt witb that mystery in a waJ * . think you wiU all admire, and*«J|| 4 ] to have a crowded house on w»* j evening. On Thursday w » I «fiichard the Third' with a very *■» 'cast. On Friday—" -_ f «tc*»' 9 { ". I forget what the * € s__»*M Friday and Saturday, but no *»c. were well worth seeing. _j ß * s» f After the farce, when we were j** W* of the theatre, the ge» tier,, | previously apokets to us was 4 tit** f | we had seen. I said it I Prerful dramatic perfornwuce 1 J«« | that bottle and m*** | scheme Is a great one." _ n ,j,~»j, ( **» | •« Weil, sir," said the geftM* t \ find it very popular.** -„ t „t__ *?* | "So I should imagine,*'! f&f f have resolved to introduce 11 _«(■ | I am going to take to*2S?J&H,W i the peas to the Lyceum, «« H *J£% c _ar. " s is going to try the tea eeryhj * j - the audiences at Toole's- ? tossed up for it ™* \?*gL#tt& t bottle, and Johnnie the **• t- f ; Johnny wanted the #***$$&,<**' I can't have every tbn|j in this w«m ? had to toss up for it.. M ._ ?rt ;" §.**«"':,, | «I hope you will Mi It «•««•■ st S? * ffriend. ™'Ib needs Bometb»| X m .y f twpular opinion l-'fevour of the «| < , indeed," I *fJS f you ever come to I drop in on either i, e? er^omeS;to f | Tooie*s, tbat for my sake tafj * | bim-indly. I