YOU AND YOUR BOY.

Press, Volume XLVII, Issue 7526, 16 April 1890, Page 6

YOU AND YOUR BOY.

By Sxgnoe Max.

" Congratulate mc, old fellow I It's a boy 1"

what an exultant ring was In the voice of my enthusiastic young friend, who had come up (three steps ac every bound) to command my congratulation on the happy issue of Great Expectations in his household I And what v glow was in his face ! And how proudly he seemed to regard his newgotten crown of fatherhood ! For one swift Instant I wavered in my lone settled conviction that the choicest fruits of life are grown in the gardens of bachelor-hood, However, a moment's calmer thought confirmed the old conviction, and at this hoar {three days after the bounding visit), it loom* before my mental vision a veritable rock-ribbed mountain of truth.

All right, young friend. Be happy in your boy, and happy and ever happier be your boy in you. But if I miss your joy, I escape your responsibility, the solemn and everpresalng import of which you little apprehend .By and by there will reach you a glimmering of the momentous truth (which you must face) that. "A boy.B will is the wind's will. And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts."

But before that time arrives, and while your baby boy is still your toy, let mc do what a disinterested observer, friend and bachelor may to clear the road along which both of you must fare together. You will not take it ill of mc if I venture to say that fathers often need to be reminded of what they owe their boys, because, unhappily enough.obedienceand obligation are generally charged to the debit side of the Boy's account. This not only lacks the element of common fairness, but it makes the father-and-son relationship one-sided, despotic and intolerable, and monstrously repugnant to every lover of justice and equal rights. The conscientious counsellor who desires to see established the right relation between Father and Son will not approach the question flippantly or in the offensive spirit and manner of Sir Oracle. Of all the men I have known, the gentlest and worthiest—the moat considerate and tne least selilsh—morally the bravest and intellectually the fairest—la that unostentatious embodiment of the virtues, my well remembered and honest dear Old Traddles. I recall a characteristic monologue of his on the idenlical relation under discussion here.

"From my earliest recollection," he said, " my father made a confidant of mc. Of course, I realize now that up to the time when I began to develop mind and judgment in some degree capable to inspire a man's confidence, my father's flattering attitude was assumed, I was not aware of it the a, however, and so in my own esteem I enjoyed all the importance and distinction of being a gravely consulted though very diminutive adviser in everything that seemed to bear nearly or remotely on my own welfare. "Aα 1 what true diplomacy that was, to be sure! But it was wise—as wise as it was gentle—because it grounded mc in self-reliance, caution, thoughtfulness and the habit of weighing opinions. I shall never cease to love and admire that kindly and shrewd diplomatist for his regard of small mc in that respect. "* "You will, perhaps, say there was no generosity in it because it was merely the performance of a parent's duty; nevertheless, I am bound to consider it a not ungenerous act in a father, busied with cares and weighted with responsibilities, to come down from his higher plane to make confidants and advisers of his children, with such a motive as I am sure guided my father in his conduct toward mc."

It came to pass that Traddles along time ago found himself occupying a like relation to a small boj, the gravity of whose demeanor explains the fact that during his childhood—the period when Traddles and I had most in common—l%sed to address him as Old Man. It was his habit to get up early, walk. into Traddles , bed-chamber before Traddles got out of bed and salute him with a grave " Hullo," ask him with much solicitude how he had slept, aud,— would he give hwnfive cents t 1 likewise observed that when Traddles chanced to meet the Old Man on the street he was likely to salute him with "How are you, partner?" or some kindred familiar phrase. At table during the family meals the same gentle or whimsical familiarity was observable. Traddles consulte the Old Man's reasonable preferences as considerately and with as much external politeness as he did those of his formal guests, and in all respects treated him as an equal, jfco whom courtesy and well-bred observance were an acknowledged prerogative, not merely a superior's patronizing favour.

It was the same with his reading. If Traddles met with something that Jhe thought might interest the Old Man, he would ask his 'attention to it, and draw oat his crude but pare gold ideas about it Iα a controversial way, in which I sometimes found myself not less interested than the Old Man. Others of the family caught the spirit and in time—before they reached maturity—they were all intelligently conversant with the contents of Traddles unique collection of books. O£ course one cannot exactly measure the good that may be accomplished by this kind of father-and-son intercourse. Its elasticity is its best recommendation—its adaptability to all natures. It Is enough for you, enthusiastic young father,' to know that in a general way it iv wholesome and nutritious moral food for that unequalled Boy, whose advent into your life 1 do most joyfully celebrate. In point of fact anything that tends to establish the entente cordiale between boyhood and manhood—especially if those conditions bear that other and gentler 'relation of nonhood and fatherhood —must yieid.a_generoua harvest of good. It is an understanding so e&sy to reach that I wonder we do not see more examples of it. Bight-minded fathers will always embrace any plan for the true advancement of their boys. This plan of familiar companionship seems to mc the best plan. And I would pursue it with zeal to Its last analysis—even to the verge of spinning tops and playing horse In the intervals of j life's exacting round. : Traddles (whose word is never doubted) reports that he lias demonstrated the easy practicability of it. The best immediate results, he thinks, were those that owed their start to little talks abouc? books and the men and women who wrote them. He also asserts with a degree of enthusiasm not common, to him that the Old Man's intellectual development under this plan is amazing. He accounts for it on the plausible postulate that whatsoever engages the child's interest the while it touches him with «, sense of hie own importance and possible usefulness, enlarges bis mental horizon and laya broad and deep the foundation of a well ordered and helpful life. I can imagine no more lovely phase of life than, that which is presented by the father and son who have established the Traddles relation with each other. Boys so treated are quick to apprehend the respectful recognition of the odd of manhood in themselves; and they will not abase the confidence you repose In them. They will meet you more than half way in obedience and in efforts to grow in 'the direction of your desire. After all, the difference between the Boy and the Man—like all differences in this world—is relative. I am not quite euro that I have not been better taoghc by the Boy than by the Man.— Detroit Free Press.

The arrangements made for Mr Stanley's tour are said to be on a lavish and colossal scale. The sums to ba paid to the explorer are great beyond all precedent, and it is said that Mr Stanley will net between £30,000 and £40,000 from the United W. - dom alone.

lpPftit«hard, SUbott {$, Still* W^ , raStT Whitelaw, Mesdamee Kf&lhamrlackiand, Carter, Law, Silbon, MeNair. ■S*'pErnst. M. Smith, Stub A. Swinnerton, Messrs A. Alex!Kmakeley,R. Buckland.D. Campfcf'cSter. W. Cousins, E. and W. Isl.%Pashway, C. Dunn, B.mdU Murray, Silbon, Still, ©i-fiiwee Lochhead (5), McGovern, £*?*>; Hallorati, Mesdames Bryne p&J? Eastick and infant. Lambert, Sffi'jTMartta, Owen, Messrs W. P Bryne, M. Carter, M. Eastick, Goodyear C Harrocks, fe&SSfe A. Wade, EL Welsh, *aier/w. Woodgate, A. YmU, t SR&M«' Banning, Lambert, Lochgfj»r&> Tfl Toms, Martin, ana Hunt. B.E &S. Mabiposa. Auckland, March 24. t&riposa arrived from Sydney on saUed today for San gftjr' Passengers -Misses LeachJ. Thompson.Bryant. A*fpucker, Grelg, Mangles, ManS&gaJSw HiU, Seweff, Poster, && Vaughan, Bassall, Bey. J. %HtevTKelysack, Dr. Vaughan j & Sase, Peacock, Foreman, Foster F. Cook, G. & Cook, E. 3ft. fl*2£rSSin»Ble. DOrsay, Ogden, G. SSS&Smee Mills, Empsall, Bassall, ■*%», and 66 in transit from

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