THE LOAFFR IN THE STREET.

Press, Volume XXXI, Issue 4285, 24 April 1879, Page 3

THE LOAFFR IN THE STREET.

■ Apropos of the present tightness let us say in ftn»T»»i«l circles, the following little item comes from the South. The holder of a Bank deposit receipt for £900 was about to withdraw his money. This fact, coupled with the knowledge that he had conscientious scruples about taking interest abore 10 per cent., caused him to become an object of the tenderest interest among the money broking fraternity. He waa watched into the Bank, and the transaction being completed, he was immediately surrounded by battalions of brokers who were conreniently planted a short distance from the Bank door. Each urged in the most glowing terms the advantages of his particular investment, and after a serere struggle, lasting many hours, the monied man fell a victim to one of the fraternity, who, in the course of a short time, placed the money at a very considerable adranoe on tbe rate of interest required by the lender. The story carries its own moral, a portion of which is that the possession of a conscience in these hard fames is a rery expensive luxury. Mot long since a trareller up Korth entered an hotel and called for a glass of Blood's Stout. Hβ drank the fluid handed him by the barman and then said placidly " This is not Blood's stout. Show mc the bottle." "Oh yes, sir, it is!" replied the barman, "we get it direct from England." "Scarcely so," said the traveller; "I happen to be an agent for Blood. This is colonial porter and horrible bad porter at that. You are only the eighty-ninth man I've bowled out using our labels." By which it would appear that we don't get English beer and porter quite so often at we fancy. The forging of bottle labels of all kinds (including Mr Hennessy) is becoming one of the leading colonial industries. I understand it is highly remunerative, but I think I prefer other industries. The different lights in which people riew things are indeed curiour. A while ago the Christchurch people gare what may be called a mixed sort of entertainment for the benefit of the Kaitangata sufferers. I don't think it i» too muoh to say that the rarious performers worked rery hard, and that the B. P. Btmported them well. The "Christian Becord," a copy of which has just been forwarded to mc, appears to think rery sadly of the iniquitous manner in which we set about it. This is how he reckons up the style in which we ran our show— " Thb OAaarrrix.—This name, •which, calls up anything but flattering associations in toe minds of those at all conrersant witii the social history of Southern Europe, waseiren to a series of entertainments held in Chnstchurch on St. Patrick's Day, and held ostenaibly for the purpose of raising money for tne Kaitengata Belief Fund. The proceeds of the day will amount, we are told, to not lew than £800; and whilst we congratulate the promoter! of the good cause on their success, we sincerely lament that they should find it necessary in order to accomplish so praiseworthy an end to play on some of the weakest. and most objectionable phases of human nature. To speak of the money raised by this means as giren for the relief of t&e suffering is an imposition of tike most hnmiliatingoescription." • , ] What the wicked associations conuectea with the name may be I cannot say. Possibly I'm not so eonrersant with the history "of Southern Europe as the writer, but Fr«i been to an Italian carnrral, and nerer felt IJ™l committed a deadly sin by so doing. Why the writer should think it fit to say the entertainment was held " ostensibly' 1 for the purpose of raising money for the Kaitangata Belief Fund is another puntle to mc. But it's a rery third-dan sneer, and comes with rery bad taste from a paper which, calling itself a " Christian Beeora," might be supposed to have a sympathy with charity. Charity, like some horses I know, runs m all forms, aad whan the writer lament* that •Wβ ehoald hare found it necessary to play on tome of the weakest and most objectoonable phases of human nature, he really giree one the impression that he knows nothingef charity, human nature, nr his subject. Tfcs ignorance of the two former may be core his Sirfortune than bis fault, but a paper »an

ought to hareanaattering of the subject he handles.' I dare say with time and thought may turn out something more suited to his columns in about ten jean if fee try hard and gire hit mind right to it. < Now, what does this mean ? " Wanted, a Circular Man. None but a steady competent hand need apply. Junes Cotter and Co., Greytown Saw Mill." Most people, I fancy, prefer a square man; but, perhaps, it's the adrertiser'e way of saying that he requires a good all-round mmn

" At the Buninyong police court, a young man has been fined 20.», with £3 8s costs, for kissing a woman he had been liring sear, and had been on intimate terms with from child-

hood. The reason assigned for the action was that defendant kissed the lady and squeezed her so hard as to make her ill since the occurrence, in the beginning of January last."

Mr Tennyson obserres, in reference to Queen Gumerere, that, « A man would gire all other bliss, And all his worldly worth in this, To waste bis whole heart in one kiss Upon her perfect lips." Very likely, out not in times like these. No man, I don't care who he if, can afford to gire £4 3s for a kiss in the present financial crisis, at least not as a regular thing. Such a price is simply prohibitory. Any man continuing in such extraragance must break, and the kisses wouldn't show out anyhow in the assets.

"Mr Carpenter canaot knuckle down to the present condition of affairs. He is like a man in a new world. All the old scenes hare passed away and he is continually endearoring to bring them back. But Wellington's motto is JVulla reeitigia retroieum." Is it ? How I should like to hare been present at the interview between the writer of the abore and the classical printer who set the quotation. It's a pity Mr Fox did not see tbe beneath when he was round here on his recent lecturing tour. He could, and doubtless would, hare pointed a moral— " Medical.—A f ully-qualifled medical man (English), married, at present surgeon to a hospital on the West Coast, would be glad to hear of an opening in Canterbury. Is strictly sober, and possesses the highest professional testimonials. Address M.8., "Lyttelton Times " office, Christchurch."

I'm afraid the natural inference to be drawn is that we are a fair drinking community. At least I should judge so when a medical man thinks it necessary to state he j " is strictly sober." A Southern contemporary has been giring an account of the educational exhibition at the Donedin Normal School—'" In one room, says the writer, the tables are covered with valuable school books and maps, and the walls are adorned with a number of drawings of scientific appliances; and in an adjoining apartment ladies may be gratified by an inspection of cunningly wrought needlework, specimens of embroidery, knitting, and other samples of feminine handiwork that inrite and challenge the most critical examination. We are not authorities on such matters, but hare no doubt that the rarious articles are as faultless in their construction as they are beautiful in design. Some daintylooking samples of waxwork flower* are especially noticeable." It reads well does the abore, but were there any darned socks on riew, that's what I want to know. Were there any samples of cookery around, because I'm getting to be of opinion (hat luoa exhibit* would be nearly as interesting as even those noticed abore. At least they would to the old man. Between ourselves I should a* a rule prefer reporting on the merit* .of a* educational mutton ohop to writing half a column eren on dainty samples of waxwork flowers. The edible samples are more usefully dainty I fancy.

Apropos of education, there were two young gentlemen pupils of one of our leading educational establishments, engaged the other evening in what I belisre it is correct to call " swotting up" for the labors of the ensuing day. The following remark was passed by, let us say, the least industrious of the two— " You may talk about your telephones and microphones, which I don't understand any. tiling about, nor more I do about this beastly Xenophon, which I think is the worst of the lot. I wish no one had ever inrented him." He wished it again next morning when he got hi* usual imposition. There's nothing like showing a bold front to adversity. This is what a lady up North did the other day. A Christchurch contractor had built a home for her husband, whioh tenement was all but finished, when circumstances compelled him to take the benefit of an Act which has at time* prored so satisfactory to most of us. It thus happened that the builder lost heavily OTer hi* contract, and he was a bit taken off hi* balance a few days after the meeting of hi* client* creditors to get a real nioe reokoning up from his wife, because he had not painted her house according to the terms of hi* specification. The lady's riew of commercial morality certainly deserves appreciation.