OUT AND ABOUT

Bay of Plenty Beacon, Volume 1, Issue 58, 4 September 1939, Page 5

OUT AND ABOUT

(By "tire Outsider) Of course, it's ail very surprising to me. I thought my column would have been mobilised immediately under the Defence of the Realm Act ? but apparently the authorities arc reluctant to take this step until it is forced on them, so that they shall not be accused of having started Die atrocities. Meanwhile I am left ai> home to look after the civilian morale (pronounced more.ale) . * 9 $ * • Various citizens and characters of my acquaintance seem resolved to do their bit. Tod says that with his trusty rakau he Avil] have no difficulty in mopping up the rats running the Reich at the moment. Great Uncle Frederick has proclaimed a sttfte of emergency at Te Ivaha and is drilling the Scouts night and day. He says that he intends to fight the war to the last Polish soldier. Uncle is the military member of our family. A regular fire-eater, he fought gallantly throughout the war in the quarter-master" s store, and he , can tell some stirring tales of his experiences when in charge of under pants, long, troops, for the use of too, is knitting bottle opener:; for the soldiers, and Len delivers pep talks to the beanV'and my let. tuces. "It's food that will win this war' is our new slogan, and we will continue to do our part by feeding the starving population of Whakatane at our morning tea soup kitchen. * * * * A recent farmyard incident reduced one to a state of helpless hysteria that would be the envy of many a laugh-teasing tap-room tale-teller. Afternoon, tea among the peasantry was interrupted by a soul.searing salvo of agonised squealing that involuntarily drew the townsfolk to the kitchen window, though the court trymcn mowed away at the eating quite calmly. In a nearby paddock a small hard-case looking pig crouched with one foreleg lifted terrierwise and its snout pointed to the blue sky—squealing as if its little heart would "break. Then suddenly,, in dead silence, the piglet, shot out like a shell from a gun and .scrambled under the lower wire of an electric fence. Experience teaches, you see. * « * * Latest additions to the gaiety of nations were strangled at birth stt that you probably didn't see theip unless you got one of the early Be.a_ i CO.IS. ' v; !' First break was the dropping of an | "r' from 'scarred' so that a certain rep. team was referred to as the 'battle-scared veterans. I've heard -them called a lot of things from time to time, but not that. Still-it's just as well that \ve didn't make them 'bottle-scarred'as the Auckland evening paper did not so long ago when writing" about Anzac Day. It described how the Anzacs flung themselves up the cliff in a "sort of raging madness of bottle." _ That was definitely caddish. . * • The other bright moment came when a horse, just before meeting i* sticky end in front of a train, wa§ described as charging "mildly" uji the tracks. , Z Had the horse been a bull its name would doubtless have been Ferdinand. * * sp » FIRST LESSONS IN POLISH (THE HORRORS OF AVAR) For Poland we must shed our blood and die for dear KrasnoborUd. Hitler shall never make a mock 4 Of Ptonsk or even of Ptock. : ,?• The Whaka. boys will -win the day.. Over the top at Katowice (x) At Wtoctawek and Ironwroctaw, We'll give the Hitler Youth what for. Then, turning Bask, at famous We'll make those Bolshie traitors Strut. Kam ionkast r u mito wa, You can sing or play it over, Gargle it or even sneeze it, Just as you do with Gentsewiezit.. When Bomsts are bursting all around Woto Wotynski underground. I think that Fritz is getting Llow, He nearly hit me then Junow. Do the Polish Majdans say. "Nu.ino'» when soldiers look their way, Or wait until on their Pinsk Lipsk A soldier's pressed a passionate " r Kipsk? These names will be too hard for yao. You'd better stay in Otahoo. Or, because slightly nearer up and hide at \yokkarewar. foot, previous column)}