PAES FROM THE BULLETIN.

Bay of Plenty Times, Volume XXIV, Issue 3684, 13 April 1898, Page 4

PAES FROM THE BULLETIN.

Wanted in Australian Parliaments, fewer ' scenes ' and more acts. # # * * I 'In Auckland, M.L., writes a full-flavoredliar to « The Bulletin ' ' the helplessly-drunken man is so numerous that the police will arrest cnly those of him who lie across the pavement, establishing an obstacle for short-sighted old ladies with heavy parcels to fall over. The drunk who carefully lays his incapacitated carcase parallel with the street rests unmolested by the weary { trap.' # # * * The ratification of the appointment to a salaried office of an ordained clergyman by N.S.W. Public Service Board, the clergyman at n on -official hours retaining the right to perform clerical duties, emphasises an important difference between N.S.W. policy and that of Victoria. In Victoria clergymen, until they retire from the ministry, are not eligible for employment in the public service. # * * * Queenslandlately imported some fine, sturdy specimens of the genus agricultural laborer. Several of them immediately trotted round to find vacancies in mercantile institutions for clerks; one tried to start a private school; and half-a-dozen made desperate attempts to get into the police-force. The agricultural laborer from English counters, warehouses and offices, is a fairly-numerous institution. # # # # In Melb. city court. Magistrate Panton, cross-examining witness : ' Now, sir, do you, on your solemn oath, declare that this is not your hand writing V Witness : ' Indeed I do, sir.' Panton : * Does it not resemble your handwriting ?' Witness : • Yes, sir, l think it don't.' Panton : * Now, sir, I will have the truth ; answer me instant er. How do you know ' — (each word well emphasised for effect) — * How do you know that this does not resemble your handwriting?' Witness (also very slowly): 'Because, sir, I cannot write.' Collapse of beak. # * # * A century ago Botany Bay managed the Sunday closing of its pubs, with definiteness and decision. The Licensing Ordinance of 1801 ordained: ' All licensed houses shall be closed from daybreak on Sunday till 9 p.m. Anyone selling spirits between these hours shall be imprisoned and have his house pulled down.' # * * * Sparrows have been introduced into Westralia in a curious way. It is stated by the Acclimatisation Society that the sparrows which lately made their appearance in Perth were not imported from the East, but came from London as canaries, and that the purchasers, on finding that they had been imposed upon by the London dealers, liberated the birds. Looks like an attempt to -get level with the dealers who export wild cats from Westralia for the London market. # # * * An old woman died the other day in Victoria— one of three sisters who were raffled by their mother in 1853. The speculative parent kept a hotel in Bourkestreet West, much frequented by the swells of the period. Her three girls were young, and good to look upon, and she * put them up' for distribution by art — not heart — union among 25 members at £50 a ticket. One was won by Tiger Nelson, who fought well in Maoriland. Young Hotham secured another. The third fell to a merchant, who is still living — a most honored and wealthy member of society. This last was the woman who recently died. # # * * The Wesleyan Conference, at Melbourne, badly wanted to experiment with celibate clergy. ColliDgwood, with its 20,000 inhabitants, couldn't support a married clergyman, and therefore Of course the Conference parsons are nearly all married and fat, and the celibate business isn't to be retrospective. It's only recommended by the old shepherds for the young ones. # * * # A word for phrenology — or an unusually good and daring guess. A few years ago a travelling bump-reader, ' showing ' in the country districts of S.A., had for one subject a ' leading townsman ' — a councillor and local preacher and prominent lodge man. The buinp-readerhomfiedthe audience by remarking that his subject was a great hypocrite, although probably he was trying to overcome the disposition. The 'subject was the teetotal light whose remarkable defalcations have given people something to talk of for a month past.