JODSON AS A DOCTOR.

Bruce Herald, Volume XXXIX, Issue 181, 27 October 1903, Page 7

JODSON AS A DOCTOR.

"Do you know what I am going to fefcii ho»ne on any way from the oJHce this evening;?'"' inquired Mr, Jobson of Mrs. Jobson ) .it the breakfast table one morning about ten days ago. • il .-.-*. Jobson had no idea, of course, and said so. '"I'm going to fetch home," said Mr. Jobson. cravnlarly, "about two pounds of powder.cd sv.SpHwr nnd a Jug of blackstrap mola?^es ol t..-.e uJu-iashiosied kind." "What for?"' inquire! Mrs. Jobson. "Wuat for?" repeal pd Mr. Jobson, with a si:-;-,\.€d expression. "Now, what d'ye >::j }fi«vi. i^owcieied sulphur and molasses arc f;<tie: a' '..l-' utfcri for— csinip tea? Mrs. JobM)n. :»r.£ it 1 inquire wu ether you ever had .1 home as a 3'or.ng girl — a real, sure-enough !'o:r.c', presided over by a mother who Jviieiv eiough. to repair to shelter when the lain began? Is it po.-sible that you never heard of the combination of sulphur and TOoias3ss for use as a blood-purifying spi i.ig medicine?" O.i, yes. Mrs. Jobson had" h«ard of that. "You -have, eh V* Baid Mr. Jobson. "Well, what do you think of it as a spring medicine?'* Mrs. Jobson" reluctantly replied that she thought it all right in some aspects, but-* "There are no *buts' about it," said Mr. J( bson, in his most impressive judicial tone. "Sulphur and molasses make the ■ pt:ite<t .spring medicine that ever caire ortr the hills. And that's the stufl: thui we're g>;ng to take every morning L close bicakfa«t for a month or so. Just like o-eryi-ody else, we're been sitting around all winter like hothouse plants, eating ton much, and not taking anything like enough exerci=e. The ree-ult is that our blood's all" thickened and clogged up, and if w.e don't take, something to clarify our systems we're liable to attacks of illness for the rest of the year- Sulphur and molasses k the thing, and when we take it lictfit along for about a month we'll feel l iks eclta just turned loose in a field of c."."/clions." * - ili\ Jobson, having assumed his I-hnve-*;.i»:ce manner, Mrs. Jobson didn't make a-r reply for tihe sake of peace, but it was o'lvio'*; tiiat she wasn't looking forward to t = sulphur, and molassee scheme, with any g-ft desree of equanimity. , Mr. rlobson was as good a« his word, and heme he brought tbat evening the package of powdered sulphur and a huge jug of bla.jk&tap molasses, for which he had to .-carch the town. After dinner he mixed tr r "irant spring medicine in a large crock," ;=>i i ie- time conversing volubly on the won'•'cr?' wrought by tlie stuff on the human frame if consistently adhered to. "It won't do you, any good if you only take it once in awhile,", he explained. "You've got to etay right with it every day for a month or so to get any good out of it. It may not ta«te like pate de foie gras, but that's only a detail. It's reachin', so to speak, and that's the main thing." When Mr: Jobson made his appearance . for breakfast the next" morning Mrs. Jobson was already presiding over the crock of sulphur and molasces. "Have 'you' taken yours yet?** inquired Mr! Jobson. <r Ncv^ she. answered. "I" vra« waiting for you to come down, so that tre could take it at the same tim«. Ugh! It looks «o fiastyj" . . - , _ . _ , "Don't 'try to be quite «o"girly-girly, Mrs. Jobson," said Mr. Jobeon, sarcastically. '-'Airs like that aren't exactly becoming in a person of j-our years." Mrs. Jobson produced a couple of "tablespoons and handed one of them to Mr. Jobson. Eut if she expected that he was fii n jr to be' the first to go against bhe *T>rir.g medicine she "waa mistaken. He Flood by in an attitude of expectancy, and fo there was nothing for- her to do but to dip ir.io- the, crock, delve ud a spoonful of. the gritty-" mixture arid swallow it. She made an extremely wry face over it, but esid nothing. Mr. Jobson then dipped into ,tn« mess, bringing ; up ' a f considerably smaßer spoon- / ful than Mrs. Jobson had taken, and downed il. His countenance looked mightily distorted by the time he had swallowed' the stuff, and he spluttered and coughed a lot over it for some time. "Do you like it as well as you did 1 when you were a young one?" inquired Mrs. Job-; son. " " ' "It's great!" spluttered Mr. Jobson, but he didn't say it in a convincing way. He - didn't have his usual appetite for breakfast, and be looked thoughtful throughout i the meal. He wasn't feeling well, he mid, when he returned home that evening, and be went to bed early. When he made his appearance in the dining-room for breakfast Mrs. Jobson was again hovering over the sulphur and molassee crock. Mr. Jobson didn't go anywhere near it. "Well, the spring medicine w stirred upand waiting,** said Mrs. Jobson. Mr. Jobson pretended to be so dtrtereigted in the headlines of the morning paper that be didn't' hear her. , . "Are you ready for the blood purifier?" inquired Mra. Jobson again, and again Mr. Jobson pretended that he hadn't . heard. Then Mrs. Jobson walked right over to Vhere he bad plimp«Fhimsel£vin aVchau and said: '" ' "My dear, shfell we tak« our sulpimr and molasses now?" "Huh?" said Mr. Jobson, making beKevs that he had just emerged from his trance. "Our spring medicine, you know," said Mrs. Jobaon. ' ' ' "Oh," said Mr. Jobson, sternly, "you nean that beastly decoction~fchat you forced uoon me yesterday morning, do you. No, Mrs. Jobson, I, for one, am not — n-o-t,,not —going to take it this morning or any other morning. You can take all you want of it — gallons and hogsheads of it, if } r ou choose — but if you think for an infinitesimal fraction of time that you're- going to bullyrag and bulldoze and- hector me into sozzlingmy sys--lem with a poisonous mess that makes me feel as if I'd been, living on poisoned snails for a month, that ca'jpes me to wake up in the morning with a taste in my mouth like a motorman's glove!, that puts every tobfch' in my head on edge and tbat'sliable'tamake mo break out in boils .and carbuncles until I'd look like a twentieth century Job— then you're dreaming, Mrs, Jobson, and it'a pretty near time for you to wake up." The crock of sulphur and molasses went into the garbage can by the time the slop , gen'tlernwi got around that morning, and 'Mr.". Jobson never deposited anj^hing in that receptacle that did her so much good.— ' Washington Star. SUm Chaaice tor McCarthy. "Ijinderstand the doctor has just been to, •«je your husband} Mrs. McCarthy," said Mr. McCarthy's- employer. "Has he made a diagnosis?" : • For a moment Mrs.. McCarthy was submerged in' a sea of doubt, but she rose tri-li:np-:ant. x '•Xo. *orr/' she said, confidently, "be left, if to me. him paying 1 was well able to do it, forr. It 'i to be made wid' linseed' on a ISlout jnuslin; gorr/'—Yout^g Cojajaafoa,