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Bruce Herald, Volume XXX, Issue 3025, 6 January 1899, Page 3

A Sunday School Teacher : What is an Epistle ? After :i pause a pupil answers, " Please, sir, the wife of on Apostle." * c Misß Pert : Is Miss Strait Lace circumspect ? Miss Caustic : Circumspect ! vVhy. she won't, accompany a. young man on the piano without a chaperon. * * Native (to stranger) : We always have a j west wind here. Stranger : But l.he wind j now is ri^ht from the en.«t. Native : Oh, ! that's tho west wind coming back, you i know. Stranger :Ah ! * * * ; One day a Texas gentleman saw-a littlo boy without shoes or atoekings. "It is rifrky for you to be going barefooted so early. You will catch cold and die." " I gues3 not," said the boy, " I went barefooted earlier than this once and I didn't die." " When was that ?" " When- 1 was born. I was born barefooted." i * « : The children were playing up in the attic when suddenly Whitty gave a fearful yell. " What is the matter ?" said the nurte, from below. " Nothin'," replied Whitty. " Then what are you yelling for ?" " Coz I had a half a dozen of 'em in my throat, and I thought I'd better yoll 'em now than I do ib to-night when papa's asleep." * • i Flipjack: I met Lottie on tho avenue this ! morning, and as she recognised me her ! countenance fell. Peawick : VVhy so ? FJipi jack : Because the pavement was slippery. i The rest of her fell too. Grocer : Tliat pound of suet I bad of yon was two ounces shorb. Butcher : 1 had mislaid the pound weight so I weighed it I with one of your pound packets of tea. I " You'll leb in«J come to your weddmfj. dear, of course V Well, [ can't 'promise. My people are so fcn raged ? t i my choice that. 1 hardly know whecber 1 shall be ullo - ed i to^oniyaoU