MR SPOOPENDYKE.

Bruce Herald, Volume XIV, Issue 1336, 19 August 1881, Page 5

MR SPOOPENDYKE.

.«*, HE TAKES THE "WIFE OF HIS BOSOM INTO THE SAD SEA "WAVES. " Now, ray dear," said Mr Spoopendyke, as he bounced out of his bathinghouse and thumped on the door of the one occupied by Mrs Spoopendyke, " are you ready? We must hurry into the water and get out again, or we won't get through in time for dinner," Mrs Spoopeudyke emerged, bent almost double and shivering with the cold. As they reached the beach, Mr Spoopendyke left his wife, and boldly strode into the surf. A wave broke over him, filling his eyes, nose, ears, and mouth, and then he strode out. " What are you standing there for, eh ?" he demanded. " What do you take yourself for — a big lighthouse? Did ye come down here to take a bath, or are ye waiting for some ship to tie up to ? What is the mattei with you, anyway ?" " I'm afraid of the waves," whimpered Mrs Spoopendyke, " they're so big." "Oh ! they're too big for you, are they V retorted Mr Spoopendyke. " Wait till I get a man to saw you off a little one. Better get measured for one to suit, hadn't ye ? It's the big waves you want, I tell you. Look here !" and Mr Spoopendyke marched boldly into the sea again. Another wave caught him, and landed him high and dripping on the beach. " Why didn't ye coma when I called ye ? What d'ye want to make me walk all the way up here after you for 1 ' shrieked Mr Spoopeiitlyke. " Are you waiting to be launched like a ship ? Can't you walk as far as that ! What are ye hoisting up the legs of your pants for 1 They ain't skirts. Now look at me. See how Igo in, and you follow me when I beckou to you. Watch me now." Mr Spoopendyke plunged into the surf, but as he came \xp he missed the rope. For a second or two he sprawled around, and then began to yell. Mrs Spoopendyke eyed him for a moment, and then her i'e ir.s for him overcame her fears foi heivolf, and, with a scream, she dashed in and hauled him out by the hair. "Con-found the water?" choked Mr S|>oopfii<lyke ; "I'm full of that measly stuff, So you got in, didn't ye 1 Lot go of my hair, will ye 1 Let go, I tell ye ! What d'ye think ye are, anyway — i steam birbor shop 1 Going to let"«o of that hair some time ?" But, frightemd oat of all reason, Mrs Spoopendyke clung still, and hauled Mr Spoopendyke to l.is bathing house. " Oh, if I hadn't saved you !" she sobbed. " Oh, yes, you saved mo, didn't you V sneered Mr Spoopendyke. "All you want is fou«' ai.-tight compartments and two sets of thole-pins to be a patent life-raft. Are you going to let go of^ tint hair?" And as she released him they went to their separate ap irtmonts. — ' Brooklyn Eagle.'