Amusing.

Bruce Herald, Volume VIII, Issue 793, 18 August 1876, Page 7

Amusing.

When a cat sings does sh c not do it on pur-puss ? She simply does i t to a . meWB herself.

Man may learn wisdom from a postage stamp. It stick* to its legitimate business. Letters profit by it. The very last curiosity spoken of in the papers is a wheel that came off a clog's tail when it was a waggin'. The man who discovered it bas retired from pubiio life.

A man was boasting that he had been married for twenty years and had never given his wife a cross word. Those who know him say he didn't dare to.

A rose by any other name smells just aa sweet to us, since this blabed gold 'aa god up id to our 'cad.

It must make a man feel mean i& pay au old debt because he thinks h©. is going to die, and then have the doctor pall him through all rigkt.

Woman bas ruaay advantages over man ; one of them is that his will Las no openvv'ba till he is dead, whereas hers generally takes effect in her lifetime. Quills are things that are- sometimes taken from the pinions' of one goose to spread the opinions of another.

Erroneous A^iom.— " There's nothing like leather/ Presumptuous averment, in view of a good deal of beef !

Clara Louise Keltogg tells untruths. She says she would not marry the best man in America, It is a joke, howevsr, She knows we've been married a nustbesof yeara.

"Fair Play."— Young Misfa-eea : *It»a your Sunday out next week.- Jane, isn't it?'' Jane: " -lior', mum ! Why, you'va forgotten ! It's vonrs ! "

" My unthankful hearers," said a. backwo<wlß preacher, " you are Juke oata hogs eat in' acorns. Tlioy never U*>i up w & see where the acorns come iV^sa."' A Western papo? aaid .. "Talk about the wind blo.yi^ »Jte grasshoppers awajr. One of tb.?<& iaced Monday's gale, ioj? aa h t p.^ and then yanked a shisgte off a. house for a fan, saying i$ was awfully sultry." Quin, the fc»*oi\ being asked by a lady why tfcere were more women in the World iha.a men, replied :. "It ia in. c^aformity with tho othe? arwßgemer » t8 of Dature . we always see more of heaven than earth." A faun, ©a th* northern road ran into a cow the jer day . i t didn 't hurt the but it threw the engine off the track. People accustomed to the beefsteak furnished in the boarding-houses of this city express much surprise at the slight damage done to the train. Iv the city the price of milk has gone up for the winter, but our excellent system of waterworks enables milkmen here to retail at the old rates. The man who painted Patience as a healthy-looking female perched on a chunk of sandstone never Baw an editor chewing the end of a pencil, whilst three compositors stood in the background yelling for copy. Not Bad Judgment Either.— Mr Snobbington Hardcash (offering his hand and his heart to hia fair companion) : " No-., ,now, w-w-wheally, Miss Mawy, don"t be supwised. Ton my w w-wo-rd I mean it!— l do, indeed!" Miss Mary (a sad puss): "No, really, Mr Hardcash, I couldn't think Of accepting so much. I wouldn't miud just having your mare,, eimply for friendship* sake, you know P