The Circumlocution Office in India.

Bruce Herald, Volume IX, Issue 801, 9 May 1876, Page 3

The Circumlocution Office in India.

It seems that the Circumlocution Office has a branch in India, and an amusing story is told of its recent doings. A small Government railway line had to be opened, and a new engine which has to run on that line was to be christened by the Prince of Wales. Custom required that champagne should be used for the christening process, and the Chief Engineer applied to the Q-overnment authority for permission to buy the necessary wine. The gentlemen in the Circumlocution Office wrote to ask whether a pint of champagne would not do instead of a magnum bottle, and the Engineer replied that it would look better, and be more orthodox, to have the magnum size. The Circumlocution Office sent back an inquiry as to the difference in price of pints and magnums. A statement of the relative cost was sent up by the Engineer, but it was based upon the charges of a local firm, and differed from the price current in Calcutta. The red-tape officials then wrote to point out the discrepancy, which led to another letter from the Engineer, explaining how it arose. Einally, consent was given for the purchase of a magnum of champagne, which was duly used, and the railway was opened, the engine started, and it might have been thought that the incident was at an end. Not so, however. The mysterious ways of red-tape defy ordinary calculations. The bill for the bottle of champagne was submitted with other accounts for audit, when some official returned the account, and refused to sanction the expenditure, as Public Works officials are forbidden by their code to purchase stores from the local markets. As all necessaries must be obtained from England, of course it is obvious that the cost of carrying the champagne from England, added to the expense involved in the lengthy correspondence, would have far exceeded in amount the price of the bottle ordered and used ; but these considerations never occur to the authorities in the red-tape office. A long correspondence, full once more of enquiries on the one side, and explanations on the other, ensued ,• appeals to the I/oeal Government of the particular Province were made; but all without avail, and up to the time the interesting narrative came from India, the bottle of champagne waß unpaid for, or, at least, if paid for, the officer who purchased it was not reimbursed.