CRITICISM CORNER

Auckland Star, Volume LXXVI, Issue 254, 26 October 1945, Page 10

CRITICISM CORNER

Here are criticisms for boys and girls who have asked for them. We give criticisms only for stories, drawings and poems which are not likely to be published. Edward Bancroft: The first' two verses of your poem, "The Two Cats." are quite good and the rhythm is smooth, Edward, but the last verse spoils the effect. You indicate that it was all a dream except in this verse. Also, the rhyme "rats" and "cats" is rather obvious and unoriginal. The poem might be published if you altered this verse. Moya Ghent.—You did not make the most of the possibilities of your story, "The Mysterious Deep." Moya. It could have been quite dramatic, if you had made it longer and told it with more description. Why not write it again, bringing out the tragedy of the ending, with the diver falling dead on the deck just as he was on the point of discovering the treasure. Regarding membership certificates, we have not been sending any out for some time, but you are' enrolled as a member nevertheless. We hope to send them out again some time in the future. Nita Soper.—Stories about dogs saving their master's lives have been written so many times. Nita. Try a more original plot next time. Observe people and nature and things around you, and make up stories about them, just as you see them, aided by imagination. Note the type of stories we publish in this Corner. Don Cater.—"The Fairy Queen Wins" did not have a very unusual plot, Don, and the atmosphere was not sufficiently fairy-like. The queen and others could so easily have been human beings living in an ordinary cottage. Tom Howe, too, sounded like an ordinary person, not an elf or pixie. If you write about fairies another time, try to convey the feeling of smallness and daintiness, and work out a plot with more of a twist to it.