SEZ YOU!

Auckland Star, Volume LXXV, Issue 232, 30 September 1944, Page 3 (Supplement)

SEZ YOU!

Wisecracks From The News

Woe de Cologne. * * # * Nazi leaders are all In the same boast. * * * * Slogan for to-day—Gentlemen prefer bonds. .#* * * Motorists are "tireless" in their war effort. * * * * Salute the flame-throwers—the men who blaze the trail. * * *= * The big business motto —A man is known by the company he floats. * * <r * The flower of the German army isn't the blooming nuisance it used to be. **.•♦.# Common sense is a quality peculiarly absent in everyone but ourselves. * * * * The Germans appai'ently think the time is ripe for a little more discrete withdrawal. * * * * Here's hoping Nazi war chiefs have forgotten to put away something for a Rhiney day. * * * * No one can say that members of Parliament don't consider their problems from every wrangle! * * * * Doc. Goebbels is the man who keeps the Germans acquainted with the Grimm realities of war. * * * * The railways have never been more crowded than at present. Passengers feel they're having to stand a lot. * * * * A recent American invention is a bath in which a person can lie and soak for two hours. All we need now is the two hours to lie and soak. * * * * No bowls are available for sale in New Zealand at present. It looks as though club members may even yet be reduced to rolling out the barrel. * * * * Those who know say that New Zealand should spend more time in devising methods to improve our dairy stock. Time we got our herds together. * * * * A message from a neutral source says that propaganda handed out to the Germans in Norway has lulled them to sleep. A sort of Norwegian cradle song. * * * * A neutral source reports that Hitler is all set for a getaway in a specially built submarine. The Fuehrer has been doing some deepsea thinking. .

Reference has been made in the House to the poor working conditions of employees in the Land and Income Department. Those boys can take it—with both hands.

* * * * A recent importing license schedule reveals that bobby pins will not be brought into this country next year. The ladies will be pardoned for getting their hair in a knot.

Nazi officers have been ordered to counter stories that the Fuehrer rolls on the floor and bites the carpet. It is felt that the story, like the Fuehrer's carpet, is getting a trifle threadbare.

Prisoners taken at Brest say that the night before the garrison fell was spent in a farewell party at which thousands of bottles of liquor were consumed. They've only themselves to blame for their present hangover.