CRITICISM CORNER

Auckland Star, Volume LXXV, Issue 11, 14 January 1944, Page 3

CRITICISM CORNER

Criticisms of stories and drawings which boys and girls have requested are given below. Poems are also included in ovir criticism corner but not other types of contributions. Kathleen O'Shea: As you see, your story is published to-day, Kathleen. It is a sad, rather bitter little story for a young person to write, but there is no detraction. The plot is good and you write quite well, but avoid so much use of "So" and "And" at the beginning of sentences. A few instances are all right, but when repealed they appear a lazy way of getting crispness by means of short sentences! Marcia O'Dowd: I understand what you are aiming at in your Christmas story, Marcia, bvit you have not put it across quite clearly. As the story reads, it looks as though the teddy bear was wrong to be ambitious and to want to get to the top of life's tree. Ambition, however, is good, not bad, unless it aims at power and pushes other people down, and I think that is what you mean. It would have been better to indicate that the teddy bear was proud and wanted the glory of being at the top (rather than the satisfaction of doing his best in life), and that he would not have minded if he had pushed somebody out to get there. Do you understand? It is not necessary to remain in the middle of life if you have talent and so long as you do not hurt others. Florrie McDowall: Your drawing of the rabbit is quite well done, Florrie, but the subject is not very lively. It may be used sometimes, but in future try and choose a stibject with more "life" in it. For instance, two rabbits playing leapfrog, or several rabbits having a tea-party would make a better picture than one rabbit eating a carrot.