TO MARE YOU LAUGH.

Auckland Star, Volume LXXI, Issue 201, 24 August 1940, Page 2 (Supplement)

TO MARE YOU LAUGH.

(From Eunice Earimhaw, Otane. age 15.) Husband: I do look unkempt . . . there is only one button on my coat. Wife: It does look untidy . > ■ why not cut it off? Magistrate: But why did you thfctW a saucepan at your husband t Defendant: Yer Honor, I hadn't got the flat iron handy. He: After all I'm sure there's no place like home; She! Why, has something unpleasant happened at the club, dear? Landlady: If you do hot leave oft playing that saxophone I shall go mad. Lodger: I .am afraid it is too late. I left off playing an hour ago. ' '•Why do people who play the bagpipes alWaye walk about?" "A moving target is harder to hit." "How do you like' my new hat, Martha 1" "Not bad! I xised to wear one like it When they were the fashion." "MdtHef! Al waiits the toothpaste. Oiirt of his teeth ie loose." Boasi Before you sit down to write, that letter, John, go and wash your hands, or else there will be extra postage to pay. ••• , • (Sent in by Robert Elkey, 33, Olive Road, Penrose.) Young Doctor: Well, I've been succeeeful with my first patient. Old Doctor: Of what did you relieve him? Young Doctor: Two guineas. Customer: You said this clbth would Wear like iron, I've dnly worn this suit two months, and now look at it! f alter: Well, isn't it fusty enough to suit you? ''fine old iiin," commented the host "Everything lil this house, has its etOry." "I don't doubt it," remarked the grumpy tourist; "And ie there any legend connected with this old piece of cheese ?" First Youth: Isn't Jenkins' top note soothing ? Second Youth: Yes, isn't it? After you've heard it you feel that you've paseed the worst.

• • • • P'i Club (Kohim&rama) —Thank you tor 4/ end 70 splendid patches, P's Club • • • • Nfletarirge Helper* (Oevonport)—Surprise ror the Ngataringa Helpers! During the week there arrived on their behalf from a friend, a lovely hottie and a eosv cover. • • • • Merry Rlngflehera (Epsom)— One day last week We had a visit rrom Mary Willis, who presented us with a smile, a parcel,, and particulars of 'her club. This small but biisy captain has several members. Anne ( Olwyn. Jocelyn and Peggy. Good wishes to them all. A very welcome parcel consisted of same nice used clothing- and nooks, a pair of slippers and a beret, four patches and a pair of bootees. lialikMtiltaaaiiaMiiHaM