FEAR

Auckland Star, Volume LXX, Issue 207, 2 September 1939, Page 17 (Supplement)

FEAR

Short Short Story

By Mark Hellinger

■p\R. BILLINGS edged closer to \J his patient. "Now, Mr. Jenkins, ho said in that professional tone, "look directly ahead at this light. There. That's it. Now don't blink, Mr. Jenkins. That's it. 11mm. All right, Mr. Jenkins." I lie light snapped off. The eye s l '•"■ili-t took the metal band from I|U '""1 put the reflector on 1 lie table. He glanced at Jay Jenkins and pursed his lip. Mr. Jenkins, he said, "unless you give \ our eyes a complete rest—-no "oik. no reading—l will not be responsible 1..1 \ our sight." Jay Jc.ikius shook from head to foot. He «.<- all i_r man—big and strong—but ill II cri-is like this his ner\es went to I'i'' | ~■ "" U(, t li'u lips with his' tongue. "l"ii mean,' he said in a whisper, 'V "" Unit I might go blind—comI lie doet or shrugged. No two cases are alike. Von may go tor years like this — with 40 per cent of normal sight. Then, again, you may go blind tomorrow. The eyes are delicate instruments, you know." Jay Jenkins went home. Martha was cooking corned beef and cabbage. Jay could smell it from downstairs. He always liked corned beef and cabbage, lint not to-night. To-night he could (ait nothing. To-night he could think of nothing but seeing—and not seeing.

Martha was a stout woman. She epitoni ised the good Irish mother type; t;il, red cheeks, a grand laugh and quick to cry. She kissed .lay the moment he came in the dour. He didn't have to say a word. She knew that something was wrong. sat down at the table. He played with a fork for a moment and told • '••hn, their six-vear-old son. to leave the table. Then he sighed. Martha had "ever heard him do that before. "I'm going to be blind," said Jav quietly. Martha plumped into a chair. "Mother of fiod!" she gasped. Then the tears came. .lay patted her shoulder. " I've got to '"'it my job. he said. "I've got to ™o away. Billings says some rest mav do me the world of good." So only little John ate that night. For a while the child was disturbed' hv his mother's crying, but little men of six seldom let anything interfere with their digestive processes verv long. He ate heartily. Jay didn t go to bed until 2 a.m. He sat in a parlour chair, with his hands over his eyes, all evening. Finally he could stay awake no longer. He crept into bed beside Martha, and left the bedroom light on. .At four o clock Martha awakened. She heard his gentle, regular breathing. Softly she tiptoed over to the light switch. She couldn't sleep with a IMit on. She put it off.

I lien she heard .Tav jump up. "Martha!" lie screamed. "Martha! For ,; <><l's sake! 1 can't see! Martha!" Quickly Martha put the'light on. Jay '■lit up in bed, cold beads of sweat 011 his forehead. He blinked his eyes in the sudden light. His teeth chattered and his hands shook. For six months, in the mountains, he lived in a cabin alone. Martha wanted to go with him, but Jay said "So." Jay had saved a little money, and he wanted his wife to stay in the city, so that Johnny could get the benefit of steady schooling. Accordingly, lie had rented this little shack in the mountains. He liked the iiir up there. And, in his world of halfdarkness, he liked the solitude. One day, shortly after he arrived, he penned a short note. On the envelope lie wrote: "To be Opened in Case of Death." Kaili day he walked down the rutty, muddy road into the village below. 1 here lie passed the time of day with the barber and the hot el keeper. Sometimes he ventured a ga.ne of checkers with the barber. Afterwards he bought his tin of tobacco and started the upward trek to the cabin again. He liked that. It meant exercise. At the top of the climb lie would stop, panting deeply, perspiring freely. Then he would see those little shooting stars in front of his eyes. Those darting white comets that always exploded before he could get a good look at them. I hen .lay would become afraid again. Afraid that any moment the dense walls of darkness would close in for ever.

At night he kept the cabin lights burning. At intervals he would wake up, squint at the yellow gleain, and mutter a short prayer of thanks. One night the barber came up to the cabin. He brought the checker board along. Tliev played until twelve. They would have quit at ten. but the barber didn't want to leave during the thunder shower. Jay told him he could stay in the cabin overnight. But the barber said "Xo"; his wife would be worried. So he left at twelve. Jay went to bed almost happy that night. He had beaten the barber ten panics, and the barber had won two. At five cents a, game, that meant that • lav had won 4(1 cents. He grinned at the ceiling and fell asleep. Tt was ten in the morning when the mailman pedalled furiously back to the village to tell Councilman Hodges that • lay Jenkins was dead. ' Shot himself clean dead!" he gasped. "Body's on the bed. I saw the gun. Big black one. Right through the head." The coroner didn't arrive until noon. Ho. and Mr. Hodges drove up to the cabin in a buggy. They found the note, which the coroner read aloud. "Although it may be months before this note is opened," it ran, "I write it because I expect the inevitable. I fear blindness with all of my soul—and when I am certain that my hour of darkness has come, I will destroy myself. Tell my wife I am waiting for her. And may Cod forgive ine." The coroner made his examination. He loft the body where it lay and got back into the buggy. On the way back he and Hodges talked but little, ft was still raining, and now and then forks of bright blue lightning lit up the mountain side and vanished immediately. "'l>)o bad," said Hodges. "Jenkins was a nice man, 1 understand. Family teller. Come from New York." '"Yeah." said the coroner. "It's a shame, all right. Well, maybe it was the best w.iy out. Blindness is a helluva. thing. .Toe." Hodges didn't answer. He sat looking straight ahead, watching the rain stain the horse's brown hide black, l'inally he nudged the coroner. "By the way," he said quietly. "Remind me to step off at the power plant, willva? That storm last night blew out every light in Jenkins' cabin."