THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXX, Issue 182, 4 August 1939, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MEN ABOUT TOWN.)

That there is still something to be had for nothing may come as a surprise to 6ome, as it evidently did to an old Maori recently. While travellings in an FOR NOTHING, elevator in a city busi-

"ness house I Lad as fellow passengers three Maoris, an elderly man and his -womenfolk, obviously from the "wayback." When tlie floor they wanted was reached the Maori plunged his liand into his pocket and brought out a handful of loose silver. ,; How much that?" he inquired. The liftman laughed and shook his head. "No, no old man, you don't have to pay anything for this." he said. "Py korry, mama," he beamed, turning to his buxom wife, "grand ride like that and no pay! Great, eh?"—Bill. Xew Zealanders and Australians figured prominently in the Dutch Youth welcome in the Great Stadium to delegates to the conference of Christian THE BIRD. Youth. An outstanding address was given by Dr. T. Z. Koo, who remarked that asking the League of Nations to work together was no more realistic than putting twelve eggs in. a basin and telling them to he a ham omelette.— News item. The egg. as mentioned ud above. Infers the product of the dove. And everv delegate will see The point concerning- sanctity. But speaking in a lighter tone (Referring to our latest loan). The dove asks Walter what to do. In others words;. "To bill or Koo?" —B.C.H.

It be a very strange thing how small are the matters that engage the interests of men, to the exclusion, methinks, of the weightier matters that ought to EGG LAYING. have their consideration.

Here be the emus in the Wellington Zoo at the matter of their egg laving, and so many laid that soon the he-emu will, they say. start the sitting t'hereon. it being the fit range habit of these creatures that the hen do take no Tnore part in the business once having laid the eggs. And this be a matter of such interest that much be made of it in the new* sheets and word of it telegraphed all over the land; so that interest be at once aroused as to what the Auckland emus do in this matter and whether they have eggs ready for the hatching. For it did happen formerly that both did start their hatching business about the same time, and the public mind did so focus upon it that the thing became an absurd form of interprovineial competition, and as much moment ascribed to it as though it really mattered. And so. T doubt not, would it be on this occasion if birds in the North and in the South started to sit on their e??s at the same time. A thing trifling as this, that cannot possibly be of the slightest importance to the people nor affect in any manner the weal of any of them, will yet engage their thoughts and occupy their speech to the exclusion of Budget taxes or defence or any of the other things that really matter. From all of which it would seem that the minds of men be made of trifling, childish things that they be thus permitted to delight in things that matter not. And if the Wellington emu do win again, then it will be hailed with great delight and in some obscure form will be interpreted to mean a certain superiority in Wellington, though how it come about I cannot tell. But. however silly it be, still there be no mischief in it, so perhaps it be as well that emus are able to keep"" the minds of men in harmless channels and away from matters that might have evil consequence.—B.O'ST.

Before retiring last night. I affixed my private mark (in ink) on" the level of the whisky bottle, and absent-mindedly went -to bed, sober. I wad amazed ACUTE AWGLE. to notice this morning that I had over half an inch' more whisky than the mark showed. I spoke to my near relative, who assured me, tearfully, that she had not (a* T suggested) added any water to it. even goin<r so far as to say, '-Heaven forbid that I should touch the beastly stuff," and added. "Don't you think, pop. that the room seems a bit on the slant: look at grandpa's photograph—its hanging out from the -wall, and it was flat yesterday." Well, I went round the cottage and found the side weatherboards were bulging hideousLv, encroaching on half the right of way. I at once 'phoned a cousin (who believes.' himself to be an architect) and he came round in his car in half an hour. He examined the cottage wall and told me that the "supports'' had rotted away. "Did you really buy this place?" he asked. "Yes."' I told him, "and certainly got it cheaply." "You fool, it's tumbling down." he said rudely. "Will it be costly to fix it?" I inquired anxiously. "Well (after a run round with an endless tape), I reckon a new wall and posts could be done for fifty quid." "There's no borer." I said (in quits a professional manner). "Quite so. but the water under the cottage has stood, on and off, for fifty years, and the supports are rotten." Then my near relative chipped in, heatedly: "If you think I'm putting in another twenty-five pounds on this rabbit hutch you are mistaken. I'm fed up -with it; give me my fare to Wellington, and you can, keep it." "But. my dear girl, you've put in over one hundred already; surely you don't want to lose- that," I ventured anxiously. "I know my own business best and you will always be at me for money for repairs. I'm through, that's flat." she retorted. What can I do, deay reader? Do help me.—A.A.P.

I In these times, when every nation is feverishly in the throes of huge armament I programmes it is interesting to show that this is no new move. BALANCE Forty years ago there OF POWER, was 6ung in comic opera some verses written by Adrian Ross which to me appear extremely appropriate to the present day. The song was entitled "Balance of Power," and below I give the verses. —Johnny. You take some States, not less than three, We'll call thorn A and B and C: Not Russia. France or Oermany, But each a simple letter; Supposing A should buy a sun. Then B must purchase more than one. And C. who will not be outdone. Must so a cannon better. Xow A. if not entirely mad. Another sun or so will add. As many as the others had. Until he overtops them: And B and C will purchase more. Exactly as they did before. And heap up implements of war. Till lack of money stops them. Now B, on some convenient day. Will make a secret league with A. In which they practically say. They'll go for C together. The secret, being one of State. Is certain to evaporate. And C may soon anticipate Extremely sultry weather. Then C his neighbours, will fatigue With patriotic, base intrigue Until he makes a secret league With each of both the others. So any two to fight are loath Because the third is bound by oath To fight against and for them both As enemies and brothers! ! And this is the Balance of Power Diplomacy's «limax and flowerIf we did not surmise We were all telling lies. We should all be at war in an hour. The war-clouds may threaten and lower But nevsr will burst in a shower luvver> For you cannot depend i On a foe or „. friend, | When it comes to the Balance of Power. A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. I The great deed is a thing of earth, but the ] good deed lives for ever.—Samuel Rutherford.