THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXX, Issue 88, 15 April 1939, Page 8

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MEN ABOUT TOWN.)

Do you squint? Do you pessist in lighting three cigarettes -with one match? Do yon walk under a ladder every time you can?" If r, 60 > Ton """'H °e a 'welcome SUPERSTITION, member of the new "AntiSuperetition Club" which has just been founded by a group of gay lads m Paris. They reb'gions'ly hold meetings cverv Friday, and on the 13th of each month, and if Friday and the 13th should fall on the same day, what an occasion for celebration present* itself! They sit down to dinner thirteen at a table, when the cession ha* 'been opened by a breaking of a mirror -with a hammer. N T ot only do the waiter* serve with their left hand, but under cover of an opened umbrella, while knives and forks are crossed on plates, and shoes and open scissors provide unique table decoration. Squinting members arc accorded the highest honours of the society. Unfortunately, no insurance is provided ajrainst those accident* which befall the superstitious and unsuperstitions alike, and which arc so offrn attributed to Fridays and thirteens. I wonder how many readers of this column have their own pet superstitions. —Johnny.

One of the highlights of Enjrlish historv in my schooldays was the loss in the Wash of the Crown and other regalia and treasure by that old rascal. King JOHN'S BAGGAGE. John. Here was something to bite on, and it was also a little reminiscent of "BlackMonday." We all remember the particulars, and it seems a pity that the myth should be exploded, for it is one of the few historical events that remain in our memory's storehouse. An authority on treasure trove describes the incident as the greatest "mare's nest" treasure of history—a "crock of fairv ?old buried at the foot of an historic rainbow." That sounds too good to disturb! It appears that John had two sets of regalia, and, expecting trouble from one Louis of France (we did not always have the "Entente Cordiale"), he had the royal regalia safely planted. It was to appear later for Henry's coronation, and from contemporary jewellers' receipts for repairs and alterations, this seems to be beyond doubt, the only metal emblem of royalty to be replaced being the pair of royal spurs; no doubt John was wearing these to expedite bis escape. Several garments had to be replaced, and it is quite possible that the originals of these were lost in the Wash. Further, John and his retinue did not travel alonjr the coast of the Wash, but went inland by Wisbech, and it seems unlikely that a monarch of John's perspicacity would allow his treasure to go by another route in the care of a none too trustworthy mercenary army. The whole adventure has been carefully investigated, and the final inescapable conclusion is that if the relics of John's baggage arc ever recovered, they will be found to consist of his camp utensils, tents and munitions of war. The account of the investigation concludes with apologies for dispersing an interesting historical myth, but the schoolboy will hesitate to accept tlicm.— J.W.W.

Old Alf coughed most of the night, keeping us all awake. "I'm getting too old for this camping-out stunt," he moaned. "Have a gulp of this—it might MARIE. keep you alive till next

pension day." "That reminds me," Feeble chipped in. "You jokers owe me a bob each for that extra petrol." "Stick a hanky in your mouth and breathe through your nose. Once this fog goes you'll be all right,'' I said, and started a fire, but the bracken was frost-bitten, so I tore some pages out of Alf's movie magazine. In two ticks the head of Xorma Shearer (or was it —yes, it was—Marie Antoinette's) was alight and blazing fiercely. Even Hollywood hadn't thought of that as an improvement on the guillotine scene in that great film. As the burnt pages fell one could still read the ghastly description of the film. "In the per* ftimed halls of the palace of Versailles—shameless court —tottering of her throne—uprising of the masses—last ride to the guillotine—." Gazing into the lire I saw again that grim scene that Hollywood had so decently left out —or was it the censor? Marie Antoinette was already more than half dead when they lifted her out of the tumbril and half carried her to the guillotine. She gave the younger Sanson, her executioner, not the slightest trouble. At half-past twelve Marie Antoinette's head was severed from her body in the name of "Liberty, Fraternity and Equality." A new world was being ushered in—a Xew Deal. France was being reborn. A valet du bourreau (what he would call an executioner's labourer) lifts the head and shows it to the multitude, who shout, "Vive la Republiquc!" Her corpse is then flung into a pit filled with quicklime in the graveyard of the Madeleine, to keep company with her husband's remains. Years later (1814), at the Restoration, some halfcalcined bones and a few scraps of linen are raked out and interred with great pomp and solemnity, and again the mob cheered.— MacClurc.

Lately one has been beset by temptation. Changers of money seem to have been determined to tempt an honest citizen by giving him more than his due. INCORRUPTIBLE. The first test of integrity came on entering a chemist's shop in search (against the canons of Plunkctry) of a soother (to the profession "soothers"—but, between you and me, at home they call 'cm "dummies"). A ten-shilling note was tendered for the ninepenny treasure (which is worth at least a guinea a suck). The chemist handed over change for ten shillings—and the original tenshilling note. Half-way out of the skop the customer heroically retraced his stepsand asked the fellow if he hadn't made a mistake. Twin doubt settled over the countenance of the chemist —he doubted whether the incorruptible was sane and whether he himself was wrong. The doubts became a singleton and the blighter took the ten bob. The other case of probity concerned one's electric light bill. It was paid and a tram caught after a hurried exit—for time is part of the essence of a married man's contract. Counting the change later, one found that instead of three half-crowns one should have had three two shilling pieces besides two pennies. The cashier had picked up three coins of the wrong value? Xol A glance at - the bill showed that he had mistaken a figure five for a three—ls/11 for 13/11, to be exact. It is rather odd that the 15/11, less the 10 per cent discount, would give three two-shilling pieces and twopence change out of a pound; and 13/11, less the same discount, would yield three half-crowns and twopence, which means j one is three sixpences to the good—or bad? However, the coins of temptation, wrapped in asbestos in the meanwhile, shall be returned with the next bill, for one's kiddies are always i bci lg told that it pays to give the devil his I due. Maybe one is coming to believe it; but i the third test may be crucial.—Autolycus. i