RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume LXX, Issue 35, 11 February 1939, Page 17 (Supplement)

RANDOM SHOTS

/» th« opinion of a jockey, some horses are hopelessly bad characters. IVr always seem to pick the ones that are incapablc of going straight.

▼ + + ♦ *AXKEE, whose wife and two children died very suddenlv. had the following put on the gravestone:— Here lies the mother of children five, Two are dead, and three are alive—• Those two that died preferring rather To die with their mother than live with their father. + ♦ ♦ ♦ .4. conjuror should altrays open his programme with a really mystifying illusion." says a trrifcr. In other words, he should put his best feat foremost. ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ who fell into the sea at a resort was rescued by a girl. So far, however, nothing has come of the suggestion that notices should be altered to read: "It is very dangerous for bachelors to walk near the edge of the landing 6tage." ♦ * ♦ * 'Anybody can dive," says a swimming s&pert. It's the coming up again, of course, that most people are concerned about. ♦ + + ♦ heaven keep me humble and keep me poor!" said a minister during his discourse. One of the elders nudged another and whispered: "If lie will but keep humble, we will do the rest." + ♦ -v -f Some snakes which escaped on a liner were all rccaptured within a few minutes. Nevertheless, a nervous vasienger who left the bar and sat on a coil of rope on deck is convinced that it hissed at him.

■ By Zamiel

Those connccted xcith the film industry ha re their tips and doicns, tee read. So have those, who occupy end scats in i crowded cinema. ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ W HJA " arrested in San Francisco, a man able to prove that at -the time he was alleged to have committed the crime he was enpaged in his work as a diver in the harbour. That seems to be a fairly water-tight alibi. ♦ * ♦ ♦ A mere maJe who tries to break into a feminine discussion about clothes, family matters or love affairs, we arc told, is simply asking for trouble. Yes, but supposing he wants the stamv or postal-order in a hurryf ♦_♦ ♦ ♦ food is good, says a foreign visitor, but far too much is piled on the plates at one time. We fancy we know at least one of the boardin'f houses that he is not stavinn- at ° .♦ . ♦ + ° ♦ ail ing in one's sleep is harmless tnough, according 1 0 a specialist. What certain club members don't seem to realise is that it is bad form to talk in other people's. ♦ ♦ + ♦ bandits entered a provincial theatre in Mexico and robbed patrons in the stalls they were assisted by friends from the gallery. So the gods still help those who help themselves! ♦. ♦ * The arrival of summer will draw the nature lover to realise anew the truth of Emerson's saying that the beauty of a landscape belongs to the man who looks at it with an eye appreciative of its beauty. Emerson wrote that before the billboard era.

At Darlington a baby has been born with■ several teeth. Parents are reminded however, that this cannot be guaranteed irith all this years models. w? learn that a deep-sea diver may be engaged for an attempted stratosphere ascent, to record his reactions to air pressure at high altitudes. Getting the low-down on the high-up. ''Many a lore nest has been furnished on the instalment plan," writes a gotsiper. 11 ith a tittle down, of course. + + + ■*■ DIETITIAN- points out that small boys generally detest rice. Perhaps .-ome instinct warns them of the grim day when it will be thrown at them. When a tramcar started to run backicards down a hill the driver calmly steered the vehicle until it arrived safely at the bottom. Meanwhile, we suppose, the conductor just as calmly reversed the destination boards. ♦ + ♦ + gECAUSE he removed a small portion of the right ear while trimniing her hair, an American society woman has sued her hairdresser. We quite agree with her that it was a bit off. * ♦ ♦ ♦ -■I writer says that some men can make a little gold mine of their kitchen gardens. The previous owner of ou.s was only successful in making a tin mine of it. ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ JJIVIXG for sponges, we are told by a radio lecturer, often causes very severe headaches. Yes, we know. Only yesterday we banged our head on the side of the bath. ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ If you lend your friend five shillings and you never see him again, it is worth it.