THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXIX, Issue 254, 27 October 1938, Page 8

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MEN ABOUT TOWN.)

"La.lw-iur week-end gone and not a line from an amateur angler. The weather was fine on Saturday and Sunday, the seas '"light to moderate,'' as the weather THE CATCH. prophets say. and yet not a word of the luck, or alienee of it, from a fisherman. Maybe it is a little too early in the season yet, although the linesmen have been set a decent main by a young fellow in the South. I noticed ill last night's "Star"' that a lad named Southorn, while fishing from the Crooked River Bridge at r.uru, {Jrcymouth. pulled in the dead body of a man. It was a gruesome oatcli, but still it was a catch.—Johnny. A correspondent has suggested that we introduce more problems into this column — providing same are not too brain-racking. Here is one concerning horses — HORSE SENSE, and goodness knows horses • have always provided a problem, on racecourses, anyway. An old Arab possessed two sons, each of whom possessed ft racehorse. The Ihivs were continually arguing about the respective merits of the neddies. So much did their arguments play upon the nerves of father that he left a will bequeathing all his property to that son whose horse would lose in a race from Mecca to Medina. Xeedless to say. the lads were somewhat baffled, but off they started, reining in. turning back, and generally' turning the horses half crazy. By nightfall they were only half way to Medina and were forced to stay the night at an Arab camp. There they found a wise old Arab to whom each confide.! his trouble. The old man. having heard the tales of woe, whispered something in one brother's ear. whispered the same into the other brother's ear, and went out. Early next morning both lads rose early, saddled up, and galloped for Medina as fast as the horses could go. Of course one horse won and one horse lost, thus meeting the requirements of Vtlie will. Xow -what did the wise old Arab say to make the boys act that way?—B.C.II.

Xo horse race in the southern hemisphere creates such a wide interest as does the Melbourne Cup, which is decided 011 the first,

Tuesday in Xovember. MELBOURNE CUP. Next week another Cup

will have gone down 111 history and for years to come the horses contesting the race will be recalled. But there is another side tagged with a Melbourne Cup meeting which probably few ever think of. Most people give their attention to the horses and the stake money, and few realise what it costs to stage a big four days' carnival. I happened to pick up a newspaper a couple of days ago and under the heading "Racecourse Maintenance" I found such items as rat traps iS/. rat poison. 5/3. resin 1/. sand soap 3/S. cent re punch Od. Rut fill items are not figured in shillings and pennies. For instance, the wa'jes paid for the four days of the spring carnival to the race day staff alone total £1012 This sum -does not take into account wages paid to the permanent staff of 45. Last, year the waae„ of the permanent staff totalled £11.002. It is obvious that the staff must be rein forced at what might bo called "peak" periods, such as the {'up carnival. However, few j»eoplc realise the extent of this reinforcement. About 350 extra men—ticket takers, ticket sellers, ticket checkers, turnstile bands, scratching board attendants, cloakroom attendants and track attendants—for the four days —are emnloved. The club does not engage or pay the totalisator employees or the battalion of men and women engaged to satisfy Fleiningtoll's hunger and thirst. The number of men and women employed in the refreshment 1001ns, where as many as .1000 meals at a sitting are served, and bar. is about 800. Less directly the Cup makes work for scores of bakers who knead the dough for something like 20.000 bread rolls, and confectioners who cook .10.000 cakes.—Johnny, <

Statistics are very useful things—useful to politicians to prove tliat "black is white, and white is no colour at all." but when they are used in the way outA MAN'S LIFE, lined below, it is time a halt was called. When a man roaches the great age of eighty lie has earned a little peace and quietness, and it is not playing fair to remind liim that lie has lived for 2..V24.008.000 seconds, and that he has wasted days, months and even years in improlitable, and at times useless, pursuits. A gentleman named Feuchtwa tiger lias calculated this assault oi) the peaceable octogenarian. and something ought to be done I about it. 1 o be told that lie has worked for twenty-one years and slept for twenty-seven years is quite reasonable, but to fro on with he has been annoyed six years, bathed for six years, waited six years, been in love four years—these two latter follow each other, and doubtless a connection can be established between the two. How annoying to be told that he has spent the best part of a year in shaving and has been paying out money for four months—the chap hasn't even the decency to offset this by a calculation for receiving money. He opened the door for 29 days, knotted his scarf for 18 days, blew his nose for 13 days, and wasted seven precious days looking for his collar stud! To confront a poor old man of eighty with these figures is nothing short of scandalous, and I think Mr. Savage ought to do something about it and put such things in his forthcoming "index expurgatorious." "Your old men shall dream dreams." But I am quite sure the Prophet Joel did not contemplate a mathematical persecution such as this.—J.W.W.

Tt may have been the gay mood of the holiday makers or, on the other hand, just a bit of "hang-over" from those political meetings of late, but the FILM FUN. screening of the Saturday night's film at the Bach Bay Hall was frequently punctuated bv interjections. I hese. I might add,, provided a rejuvenating kick to the entertainment value of this film for those of us who had seen the same picture in town previously in a more staid and formal atmosphere. The film in question was one connected with the life of Queen Victoria, and in one part dealt at some length with the period of the early royal courtship days. The evident shyness of Prince Albert evoked plenty of advice from a section of the audience, such as "Be careful, Albert," and so forth. One scene depicted a decorated pathway, and on one of the ornamental arches was emblazoned the words "Cod Save Albert.'' These same words were read aloud with a "humorous inflexion of the voice, tempered with sympathy for the poor chap, by now recently enmeshed in matrimony. The honours go, however, to the interjector. who, when the I Prince Consort was taken alonor to peep at his just-arrived son. declaimed, "That's twenty pounds off your furniture, Albert!" The effect of this was such that a considerable number of film feet passed through that projector ere it was quiet enough to hear the reproduction from the sound track. I've noticed that the more solemn the occasion the more infectious is the laughter germ. In the past I have j merely endured with a passive interest watcliI ing a screening- of a film I hail previously [seen, and on this occasion was prepared for another flat spell, but as tilings turned out. "endurance'" was replaced by "enjoyment"' of an unexpected nature. Diverting to the critical side, may I point out, on good authority, at least two things not strictly correct, historically— Queen Victoria did not travel by train from London to Windsor on her honeymoon: she went by road. Secondly, the train shown in the picture was on a standard-gauge track, whereas the railway to Windsor—tin* (ireai. Western —was a broad-pauge one of seven feet at that time. —Wharehaere.