IS YOUR CHILD JEALOUS?

Auckland Star, Volume LXIX, Issue 230, 29 September 1938, Page 17

IS YOUR CHILD JEALOUS?

An Everyday

Nursery Problem.

A problem that frequently arises in the nursery is that of jealousy. It ie one which can often cause real difficulty and much emotional harm to the child if not quickly understood and remedied, says a writer to an English pa}>er.

One of the inost frequent cantos is the arrival of the second baby. Up to this time the child has felt he is the centre of attention, but now he finds he is sharing his mother's attention and affection with something he ha? probably heard nothing about until the baby actually arrive*.

At firet, he wili probably show his jealousy openly by intense dislike of the newcomer, but after a little while he may become reconciled to the baby and his emotional disturbance be shown in other ways, as by screaming fits, eleeplessnees, eneurests and negativism—anything to attract and hold his mother's attention.

Remonstrances and appeals will have no effect at all this is beyond the child's conscious will to control and outside his understanding.

It is wise to ennre againt this form of jealousy by telling the child that a new baby ie coining, and letting him feel it is something delightful and exciting that he and hie mother will share.

Let him help whenever possible in getting things ready for the baby, and, when the baby has actually arrived, try and make him feel that hie help is. necessary and that he has a real share in the newcomer, that it is he and his mother working together, not he who is isolated from hie mother's affection and attention by the new baby.

If the child is too young to talk to and to help in any way, the greater care must be taken to give him as much attention as possible, and a definite time each day should be set aside for him, so that he will quickly come to realise that he has a claim on hie mother's time and attention that nothing can encroach upon.

On the other hand, the two or three-year-old child is often jealous of a brother or sister a little older than himeelf. He cannot understand that it is only the difference in age which makes him less quick, and leas ekilful with his hands, not able to walk so far nor stay up quite as long in the evening. It is very unwise to eay "when you are as old you can do the same," ae this merely intensifies hie discontent with the present, and his jealousy of the older child's position.

Let the children do ae much as poseible together, but when the things must of necessity differ, the younger child should he made to feel that his activities and interests are of equal importance to his mother and he should be kept very fully occupied. If going to bed earlier is a difficulty, bedtime should be made as pleasant ae possible with stories and toys.

The older child may perhaps be very talented in certain directions which often call for praise. Equal care should be given to finding eomething that the younger child can do well, as continual praise going to another child in close proximity to him can be the cause of an inferiority complex. Jealousy of the parent* quite often arises. Even a very slight demonstration of affection between them quite often upsets a nervous and highlyetrung child, making him feel excluded.

Jealousy is often a major problem in child life, and, if not wisely dealt with immediately, it can cause psychological difficulties which have grave consequences in later life.