THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXIX, Issue 209, 5 September 1938, Page 8

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MEN ABOUT TOWN.)

Touching the paragraph in tM. «£*"» on Thursday last mentioning that *****?** men at Cavendteh Laboratory, C ambnd f e ' claimed that they were FREE ADVICE, on the trail of the law which would determine with certainty whether a penny t«ffd } ato the air would fall "heade" or t»] 1 ?_. b " n S s , !a note from a reader signing himself 'Victim. He suggest* that instead of the research men at Cambridge wasting their time at the laboratory they should take a course at a Sydney two-up" school, where they would soon learn the so-called law of chance is a certainty. A supplement of 866 pagee was required to complete the Oxford English Dictionary. It showed new words and old words used in a new sense. The number NEW WORDS, of new words is growing every year. The talkies, the movies, slimming, slow motion, body line bowling, a close-up, a fade-out, Fascism, Hitlerite, Nazi, steel helmets and shock troops were all included in the supplement. In collecting material one of the chief sources of information wae the newspapers and magazines, but the earliest use of some naraee was found in odd place*. The first use of Scotland Yard, for instance, wae traced to Mies Braddon's novel "Henry Dunbar," published in 1864. The word gadget has been traced in print back to 1886. Hie American highball, for whisky and soda, the scissors in Rugby (and the scissors kick in swimming mt?bt also have been mentioned), and even Sherlock Holmes, used for persons who like to investigate mysteries, are also included in the supplement. —Touchstone. I am in the habit of dreaming a lot, but last night's effort is worth recording, for in my rastlees sleep I dreamed that the election was over and that the DREAMS. National party had won every seat. So vivid was the dream that I awoke with a desire to seize, with gnarled hands, my rusty lyre and to twang it to the following: And now all our troubles are ended. The dregs of out cup we have auafrea For Mickey has skyward ascended. And Walter has prone up aloft. So let us do honour in gallons. Together we'll strive to restore (To quote a decision of Callan's) The status quo ante before. No longer we need to be tearful Or drooping or down at the mug. "We've never had tidings so cheerful Since Holderness lifted the tug. Though many a citizen queries (With visions of happenings past) The intricate National theories. They couldn't be worse than the last. No trouble with Government houses. No Social Security plea. No bankers in dungaree trousers. Or medicos minus a fee. And thus you can share our enjoyment In cheer and excitement to wax. For since there is NO unemployment. There cannot (of course) be a tax —B.C.H.

To the thousands who have at one time or another put in an awful night hunting between the sheet? for a flea, to finally give up the hunt, I paee along STREAMLINED, an item I have just read and -which ehoukL be at least interesting. It seems that the staff at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine have, like everybody else at times, been wondering why it is fleas are eo hard to catch, and it is now learned that when a flea jumps it turns round and lands facing , the opposite direction to the take-off. This means that the flea can fool the hunter by immediately jumping back to where it came from should its first hop land it in & danger zone. T3ie discovery wae made by G. I. Watson, studying in the entomology department of the school, where fleae are kept for research work on the spread of a disease He noticed that fleas were streamlined, with the heavy end at the tail. After watching the flight of darts, which turn and fly point forward no matter how they are thrown, he deduced that fleae must fly tail first. A study of jumping fleas through a lens confirmed his theory.—Johnny. . ,"7. Bee * n * vei T report of speeches by men in high positions," writes a reader, "men. presumably well educated, a common misuse __.__ °f the word 'will. . What SHALL is the objection to the AND WILL, word 'shall'T It seems i *,™ to be neglected in this country." "Touchstone," to whom this question has been addressed, has long feared that somebody would bring up this old conundrum, winch he does not propose to deal with too seriously. The complaint of the correspondent does not apply to New Zealand more than to t? country. Dr. Henry Bradley, in the Oxford English Dictionary, gives a number of sentences where shall is correct, and remarks, "To use 'will' in these casee is now a mark of Scottish, Irish provincial or extraBntieh idiom." Fowler and Fowler, in "The King's English," say that short and simple directions on the subject of shall and will are often worse than useless. Then they launch out on twenty-five pages of fine print dealing with this subject and nothing else. They are careful to say that the idiomatic use of shall and will is so complicated that those who are not to the manner born can hardlv acquire it. To follow them would exhaust the patience of readers. All that need be said is that "we will" is easier to say than we shall," and that "we shall" is regarded by many persons ae slightly affected or pedantic. "We shall," too, is often abbreviated colloquially to "well," and expanded again into "we will." As common usage fixes the standard of English speech, it may be taken for granted that the easier "we will" will come into wider use on account of its easier pronunciation. "In plain statements about the future," Fowler and Fowler write, "and in the principal clause, result, or apodosie, or plain conditional sentences (whether the subordinate clause, condition, or 'if clause je expressed or not), the first person has shall' and the second and third persons 'will'." P,Let us now come up for air.) For those who like to puzzle over such rules and their exceptions, the final veree of the 23rd Psalm w as good an Apple of Discord as any: "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever." WHEN . • When newsboys shout "Extra!~: When street cars start clanging; When taxis start honking; And doors begin banging; W i, ei V- vour nei snbour uostairs Fills his bathtub with water; When Mrs. MacDougal frets mad with her daughter: v\nen a loud bell announces The ice cream stick man; When someone fries bacon That sticks to the pan; When the telephone rings And a voice purrs,'"Guess who?" When under your window The kids Susie-Q-When even the milkman Comes early (the traitor - ): Its Sunday—the morning lou could have slept later. I —JOHNNY. I THOUGHTS FOR TO-DAY. ; ! Fact, valiantly faced, is of more value \] than any reputation.—H. G. Wells. < * * • • < No man can love nis neighbour without i! loving God.—Bossuet. i.