JOE'S EYEGLASS.

Auckland Star, Volume LXIX, Issue 206, 1 September 1938, Page 22

JOE'S EYEGLASS.

DISCARDED TITLES.

WHEN AUTHORS COMMIT

LIBEL.

CRICKET MARATHONS.

(By CHARLES MARTIN.) LONDON. Soon after attending, as an honorary member, the annual dinner of the Chamberlain Club, the exclusive dining club formed to commemorate the great Imperialist, the Prime Minister had another happy reminder of his famous father. He was visited by an old friend of Joe's, Sir Heeketh Bell, the first Governor of Uganda, who now lives in retirement in the south of France. As a mark of his friendship with Sir Hesketh t Joe Chamberlain, when he died, bequeathed to him his famous eyeglass. The owner of this memento has cherished the memory of the giver, and has kept in close touch with the Chamberlain family all through his much-travelled life. In addition to distinguished service in Africa, Sir Heskcth Bell was some time in India. From Kashmir he brought back a complete Indian house and erected it on the hillside overlooking Cannes. The Villa Kashmir, a«s it is called, contains many souvenirs of the owner's travels, but none is more valued than that celebrated eyeglass.

Parliamentary "Disarmament." One form, of "disarmament" appears to be popular among all shades of political opinion in the House of Commons—the tendency of members to discard military titles. Of present M.P.'e, Mr. Eden was one of the first to abandon the use of his Army rank (a captaincy). Mr. Oliver Stanley and Mr. Walter Elliot are two majors who prefer to be "misters;" another is Mr. Attlee, the Leader of the Opposition. Mr. Wedgwood, who hae been busy sending telegrams to Herr Hitler, no longer wishes to be addressed as colonel, and the latest to follow the fashion is Mr/ Colville, who hae divested himeelf of his title of lieutenant-colonel. Incidentally, this democratic assembly has a rule forbidding the wearing of decorations of any kind—one way of emphasising tbe equality, of its. members. The ban extends to visitors iii thief galleries. A constituent who lobbies his member and thinks to make an impression by displaying a row of medals across his breast ie liable to be pulled up by an attendant and ordered to remove -the decorations. The Perils of Anthorajhip. Authors and publishers were particularly interested in the libel action brought recently by a London stockbroker against a novelist who in one. of her books had created an unpleasant character bearing the stockbroker's name. To the relief of all those who write or publish works of fiction, the action was lest. Many people think it is time the libel laws were amended iii* this connection to prevent the suing of an author for inventing names which 'subsequently turn out to belong to real persons. ' The trouble began in 1009 when a I barrister named Artemus Jones sued a newspaper for libel because it had- used his name for a fictitious character of uncertain morals. He was awarded substantial damages and ever since then the choice of names has been a problem and a peril to every author. Whatever he called his villain, even if he followed * the example of Bunyan or Sheridan and named characters by their chief attributes, there was always a danger that he had used the name of some living person unknown to him who was ready to demand damages for gross libel. To insert a clause at the beginning of the book to the effect that all characters were fictitious was no safeguard. . Where Truth is Stranger Than Fiction. ■ Mark Twain, faced with this dilemma, once spent some time inventing a name that could not possibly be borne by any living person. The result of his cogitation was Mulberry Sellers, but sure enough he received a letter threatening libel action from a man whose name unwittingly he had borrowed. The difficulty, or rather the impossibility, of an author ever being certain that a character he had created had no namesake in life is indicated by a list of some of the queer names to be found in the English Ministry of Labour records. These include such peculiarities an Ephraim Very Ott, Original Bugg, Nimrod Boggs, Morning Dew (not a Red Indian), Adam Smart Officer, Himalaya Mackay and Lily May Dot Johns. In this matter of nomenclature, truth appears to be stranger than fiction. From an author's point of view safety would seem to lie itf- giving his characters numbers, instead of names. Marking the Themes Swans. The annual custom of marking the Thames swans, or rather the cygnets, to indicate ownership has juet been observed. This custom originated over 700 years ago in the reign of Richard I. The marking, known ae "upping," is. carried out ceremoniously by the Swan Masters, dressed in livery. In six- boats, flrith flags flying, they' voyage up the i ...-,--.._■ • "..», :

Thames from Southwark Bridge to Henley. The expedition lasts about four days.

The swans are owned l»y the King and by two ancient City Guilds, the Vintners and the Dyer-s. The King's birds are no longer marked; the Vintners' are nicked on each side of the bill; while the Dyers' are given one nick on the right side only.

I asked one of the swan "uppers" what happened when a male swan of one owner mated with the female bird of another owner. He told me that by longestablished custom the cygnets were equally divided, any odd ones going to the King. Nests are often found in remote places well away from the main stream. Cricket at Leisure. A favourite topic of conversation these last few weeks has been the advisability of playing Test matches in England to a finish, or of giving the players an extra day, in order to put a "stop to drawn games. Had the Manchester Test been a "timeless"' one it would probably have lasted a fortnight, the ground being unfit for play for most of the first week. That might have constituted a record for a Test, but it would not have been the world's longest match, if length is reckoned by the time bejtween the first and last over. Test cricketers are sometimes accused of dilatory methods and cricket' ie criticised as a slow game. I wonder what present-day critics would have thought of some of the players and matches of the eighteenth century. A match between Middlesex and Sussex, begun in September, 1792, was not complete*! until May, 1783. In another game 11 months elapsed between the first and last over. The record, however, was achieved by two Kentish teams which started to play each other on the cricket field in the year 1724 and finished in 1720. having in the meantime fought each other in the Law Courts over matters arising out of the game.