"SWEET SIXTEEN."

Auckland Star, Volume LXIX, Issue 192, 16 August 1938, Page 12

"SWEET SIXTEEN."

Critical Age In

Young Girl's Life,

How many of us, given the chance, would really be sweet sixteen again? All very well for the discontented woman of 40 to sigh sentimentally fox her lost youth, she is inclined to remember the thrill of her first dance and forget the agony of self-consciousness she endured there.

The passage of the years wipes out all but the pteasantest memories, and infuses an age which is perhaps the most uncomfortable one in a woman's life with false glamour.

There is nothing glamorous or romantic or even particularly sweet about Miss Sixteen. Generally she is an unhappy little person who doesn't quite belong anywhere; and whose schoolgirl complexion is distinctly overrated. She doesn't know what she can do about it all herself, and often mother doesn't know, either.

_ And yet it is precisely this critical time when so much depends upon mother's careful, unobtrusive guidance.

Her tolerance, too, for she finds that her erstwhile easily managed daughter has developed into a difficult child who is frequently selfish and inconsiderate.

_ She is apt to be moody, uncommunicative and contrary. But do not forget that these are outward and inevitable signs of a bewilding period of transition, and try not to take them too seriously.

Lectures won't do any good; even persuasion fails. Co-operation between parent and child is the solution to this problem, as well as many others, which adolescence presents.

It is often wiser to go more than halfway to meet your daughter of 16, for it will be easier for you to adapt yourself to her than vice versa.

No Poise Yet. Remember that she is neither child nor woman, and is plunged straight from school into a confusing world of which she knows very little. Socially ehe is in danger of developing an acute inferiority complex, for as yet she has no "clothes sense," poise or conversational ability. The older girls all seem so beautifully "made-up" and gowned, the more sophisticated they are the more they appeal to the ingenue.

In the choice of clothes she needs guidance which she resents. She'* no longer a "kid," she'll tell you, and quite old enough to wear backless evening gowns, ultra hats and jewellery.

She isn't, of course, but don't tell her that. Try going with her on shopping jaunts and discussing the new frocks with her.

Let her believe that she ie free to choose what she will, that you are merely taking an impersonal interest in the business. You will find that, in these circumstances, your advice will be sought and you will 'be able to use your own influence.

It is worth while (being a little extravagant with clothes at this time, going to shops which cater epecially for misses and provide an array of delightful frocks and suite impossible to resist. In fact, it is worth while fostering any active interest in any subject providing it ie wholesome, for 16,. strange as it may seem on the surface of things, is an age which revels in introspection.

Home tiee were never more neceeeary than at this time, and never more resented. Therefore home tiee must foe made to look as attractive as possible. Encourage her always to bring her friends home and entertain them herself. From time to time let her throw a small party with games, dancing and a buffet supper.

Keep in the background yourself, but do not permit her to inconvenience you seriously. She, as well ae you, must be prepared to co-operate.

Let her recreations ibe essentially active, dancing rather than theatres, sport in preference to tete-a-tetes over afternoon tea tables.

Careful Guiding. To foe at ease socially she will need some minor accomplishments. Tennis and dancing are, perhaps, the most ueeful ones. Lessons in iboth. will keep her mind as well as her body healthy. Now, does she intend to take up a career, or a job? Thie subject in iteelf is one on which volumes may be written, but the outstanding fact to remember i» to let 'her vocation be one of her own choosing if it is at all possible. If it is not, the commercial world ie going to foe very hard upon her indeed. Don't in any respect curtail her freedom. Limit it a little you must, tactfully but firmly. But in the matter of friende, literature, clothes and recreation allow her to exert her own independence to a reasonable extent and to feel, above all, that you aqe behind her to help and advise whenever ehe needs yon. She does need you—more than she ever did in her life before. Keep the word "co-operate" firmly fixed in the back of your mind.

Encourage her confidences, handle her with care, and congratulate yourself in a year or two's time on having safely guided her through the troubled years of adolescence.