THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXVIII, Issue 282, 27 November 1937, Page 8

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MEN ABOUT TOWN.) Anon, chatting with another fishing addict, I heard this one. A party of enthusiasts fishing at the Great Barrier were meeting with considerable success when POTTED. Fred called for assistance. He had. hooked something big enough to warrant the aid of two other men in hauling up the catch. If it proved to he a hapuka it would undoubtedly be a world's 1 record! Slowly the line was hauled in, eventually to reveal a crayfish pot! Xow, to 'speak literally, comes the catch, for inside the pot reposed a 121b snapper. The poor fish was I half-starved, having been for goodness knows !how long caged up in his marine prison. Fred's bait had by sheer chance been lowered into the entrance of the cage and the hungry snapper had wolfed it. I am assuming, of course, that the fish really did not know how to get out. There is another theory almost too fantastic to mention. I mean that the snapper, being influenced by the recent amend- ' ments to the landlord and tenant laws, was deliberately waiting until someone found another and better crayfish pot for him. — B.C.H.

In the days long since passed when this scribe was a cub reporter a divorce ease in the Supreme Court was real news. To-day the judicial partings are SOME GOING. so common that they

1 arouse little more interest than the prize li*t at a toy dog club. And lyesterdav Auckland established a record, ibne jud.ee sitting three and three-quarter hours and another judge sitting two and a half hours disposed of seventy-one petitions for divorce or restitution of conjugal rights. Mr. Justice Ostler was sailing along in 1 " top gear and doing (or should it be undoing?) 22 knots per hour at one stage, but occasional hold-ups brought the average speed down. When divorces are heard at the rate of one every two or three minutes it would seem that some special arrangements will have to be made for the big parade on divorce day. A moving platform upon which the petitioner? and their trainers (the legal gentlemen) could take up positions and slowly drift past the jud re. who could hand out the desired decrees nisi, like a stall-holder at a winter show passins out pamphlets, may be visioned in the not far distant future. The seventyone petitions put through yesterday must surely be a record for one day in the Dominion. —Johnny.

"Touchstone" has been impressed for some time past by the good handwriting of nearly all of those readers from whom be has received notes or queries. The ON WRITING. conclusion may perhaps

I be reached that persons who are concerned with knotty points or 'curiosities in English display their passion for claritv in their writing. A highly-placed judge in 'England once said that those whose handwriting was lerible were honest. It must jnot be assumed, however, that those whose I handwriting is illegible are dishonest. Thomas C'arlyle was one of the worst writers of his time. His London publishers once engaged a Scottish compositor who had been recommended to them by the "Edinburgh Review." As his first job in the London composing room he was required to set some of Carlyle's manuscript. "What." he roared, "hae ye got that man here! I fled frae Scotland to get awa' from him." This was the compositor who declared he would never be happy until he had heard "the last slaps o' the spade" over the grave of the bated Carl vie. The worst caligranhist of the nineteenth century was ■generally supposed to be Dean Stanley, of iWestminster. His writing was the despair of 'all compositors. To Charles Kingsley, the | novelist, the Dean wrote a letter that was i unreadable. "Here is a letter from dear ; Stanley." said Kingsley. "that I am sure is 'sympathetic and affectionate, but there are only two words in it that I can make anything of. and T don't think I can have got 'them quite right, for they seem to be 'beastly 'devil.'" This story has a, very slight family resemblance to the one about the vicar -who was in great perplexity over the indifference of his parishioners towards his appeals for generous giving. Finally, he engaged an enterprising young man who guaranteed to raise the money by a series of letters to individuals. The money began to roll in. and the vicar was mystified until one of his wealthy parishioners, I in sending a substantial donation. Wrote: "You 'seem to have found a very efficient collector, but you might tell him tVst 'lousy' has no j*z' in it and 'mongrel' is spelt without a 'u'."

THE GREATEST SHOW. "Life provides the'greatest show on earth, and the doctor has a ringside seat. T value my privilege and don't wish to abuse it." said Dr. F. J. Hwvnne. radiologist, in an address at the Auckland Rotary Club luncheon this .week. Oyez! Hear ye! Admission free! Let all the people know! Unparalleled attractions! And a most stupendous show! A marvellous experience! See! Minions all attest! Exhilarating and unique! The one and only best! Continuous performance! Come, get your monev's worth! Hi! Join the throng that's seeing Life —the Greatest Show on Earth! The programme Is as varied as the course of Father Time. Come, contemplate the dramas, and enjoy the pantomime: Divert yourself with comedies, behold the gay tableau: Amuse yourself with vaudeville, as players come and go. Dissolve the tears of tragedy In light and joyous mirth. "When moving with the crowd in Life—the Greatest Show on Earth! Rejoice, ye gav and gallant youths, ye lassies young and fair; Be erlad. ye busy matrons and ye tollers bowed with care. See fatherhood and motherhood and ageing vears beguiled With, loveliness in cradles and the prattle of a child. The sevthe of Death will sweep the stage and stiirs salute a birth Amid the panoply of Life —the Greatest Show on Earth! Come, revel in its glory when the sunshine lights the sky: Move onward with its pageantry when triumph marches by: Be simple in its mysteries; exult at Duty's i call: [Be thril'ed with Love and Valour as Devotion conquers all: Join in the songs and choruses that chant the miehtv worth Of Virtue in the caste of Life—the Greatest Show on Earth! Thus mid th« multitude that cheers the heroes on the stage. Be active in the battle when opposing Fates engage. What though you miss the accolade t-iat gives the smile of Fame. Tour name will be among the host "iat alwavs nlayed the game. Then Vt this record compensate for vaunting i Honours dearth— You've had a ringside seat for Life—the Greatest Show on Earth! —E.A. JUST A SUGGESTION. Your par. 0:1 an example of words of no meaning, but which suggest other words •remind* me of a verse which I read somewhere about thirty years ago. and which lias stuck in my memory. Needless to say, it is an Aussie "poem." The wind was blumly smooshtering Along the smithering wooves. When the Beebah booled defiance To the Bunyip in his brooves. The Bunyip answered brufouslv And scrittled in his skin: His whiskers grew skewbiferous His tail trybersferin. —WEKTIE BOOSTER.