THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXVIII, Issue 264, 6 November 1937, Page 8

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MEM ABOUT TOWH.) The Taintii has left Auckland witli a number of parasites which ■will lie unloaded at Kingston, Jamaica. They will be used in eradication •' of a banana BIG GAME. pest. The team is considered a strong one all round, with perhaps a slight weakness in the backs. The forwards, however, should have no difficulty in holding the banana pests who lack appeal in this department. A critic, in summing up the eliancee of the team, says that if the visitors do not eat up the home side it will be a rum go, although in sucli matches many a slip may occur. The incident reminds me of the two decrepit grimy tramps who were resting under a tree. One of them looked up from a torn newspaper he was reading and asked, "What's a parasite. Bill 7" The answer caine sleepily, "Search me."—B.C.H. When a journalist writes about two cricketers who have "staged" a good partnership he has slender authority from Slnrkespeare for turning a noun "STAGEY." into a verb. Shakespeare, certainly, turned stage into a verb, but only in the sense of exhibiting (something on a stage. Nowadays anything may be "staged" in journalese, but it is an objectionable word when used in any but the Shakespearean sense. A reader who is in a quandary about the use of the apostrophe "s" auks for the possessive of Jones and Moses. The possessive of Jones is Jones's. The possessive of Moses, the great Lawgiver, is Moses', but Moses the local lawyer would be Moses's. Ancient names and classical names like Pericles do not need "s" after the apostrophe.—Touchstone.

11l IfiOo a bloke named Guv Fawkes, whose name will ever be revered for his attemjrt to produce a really useful Parliamentary report, was frustrated by the GUNPOWDER Government Whips. Later "POPS." on, Guy, like his report, was "laid on the table." However, his abortive attempt at dissolving Parliament has through the centuries brought joy and happiness to many a father. During the past few days a keen observer would have noted many a gentleman carrying the tell-tale bundle of rocket sticks. These things simply cannot be disguised. I know of one case where a wife actually caught daddy red-handed on November 3. In a quiet corner of the garden lie had made a small cannon out of a drain tile and was dropping lighted crackers down the muzzle! He squared his wife and kids not to tell anyone about it. And so once more we have had the glorious Fifth of November, with its hordes of excited children watching longingly as father and his men friends squabbled over the question as to who was to light the next rocket. Thus the evening passed until the last cracker popped off. Powdergrimed parents somewhat out of breath and at least a couple of quid out of pocket took a last look at the mess—and so to bed.—B.C.H.

Tam finding Parliament rather dull. The novelty of political broadcasts has worn off, and polities at the moment seems to have developed into a sort of TEDIUM. theme song, the eternal burden of which is the B station, or the ex-B station. I don't know much about the B stations since they changed their coats for costlier and more pretentious garb. Mum won't listen to the ads., so all the commercial stations are automatically taboo lin our house. So we listen to the Y's, without the alternatives we used to have of changing down to the B's when" Professor Shelley started to educate us too intensivelv. The result is that I have been hearing much of politics, and politics on the air as a dailv fare can become very monotonous. It mi°ht be a good idea if Parliament followed the example of some of the cricket people who have instituted one-dav cricket. Let us have one-day bills. Call it a day at 10 p.m. on any bill introduced that day and so give us a more frequent change of political programme. I know all I want to know about the commercial broadcasting stations. I know the Government members like 'em; and I know the Opposition don't. Neither do I. Well, I am conlent to let it go at that and would welcome something else. It might make for a happier and more contented nation if the (members of Parliament were to form a glee club and let us have some madrigals and wliat not as a variation to the perpetual monologues and expositions of the many faults that Mr. Nesfield warned us against in our youth. An Opposition male voice choir, howling the country's woes in unison mirht be all-right, and chanteys by Government members as thev heaved the legislation through would possibl'v he preferable to their efforts in elocution. Anything for a change. The radio world is becoming too, too tedious.—B.O'N.

Met a chap to-day who was bemoaning his bad luck. It seems he had risked a whole 'bob in an office sweep on the Melbourne SWFFP«STAWttc £ UP ? d TT k< ! drawn Sir &WJHCFSTAKES. Regent. He had listened- ... in to the broadcast description, hoping the gallant Sir Regent would dawdle along in front of the twentvseveu other mokes in the race and make tlie'm look like just so manv caterpillars. But it wasn't Sir Regent's day. The announcer mentioned the horse four times. The first time after the "off" was to tell the world that Sir Regent had been left at the post and lost half _ a furlong. Twice during the race he mentioned "Sir Regent is last," and he finally dealt a body blow when he remarked as the horses returned to the enclosure. "Sir Recent is lame.'* Thousands of Aucklanders lost shillings in Cup sweepstakes on Tuesday. It is an annual affair to make up a "bob" sweepstake 011 the Cup. Veteran sports will recall earlier days—the good old day* tliev are styled—when the bookmakers caned the card at TattersaH's Club in Durham Street and the odds were "offered and taken" to the tune of hundreds of pounds, and occasionally Cup fancies were backed to win big sums. The daily newspapers featured the betting market and published the odds quoted in the anteI post betting. "Calcutta" sweeps were conducted in most clubs, with £1 subscriptions, j These sweeps were 011 a vastly different method | to the ordinary sweep as most people know it. In a "Calcutta" a subscriber paid his £1. .but there was no guarantee that he would i draw a horse. There may have been 20 horses I in the Cup, but possibly 100 subscribers to the j Calcutta.' The sweep would be drawn, and an auctioneer would afterwards sell the horses, j For instance, if Joe Jones drew Carbine in the .sweep, to retain his interest in Carbines cli-nce he had to buy the horse in. If the bid/ ig j reached £20, Jones had. l>eing the drawer to ; pay half, that is £10, which went to 'he pool. If someone else bought the horse at £20, then Jones received £10. but had no further interest in Carbine. And so the auction proceeded till finally all the horses in the race , were sold. As each horse was sold half the amount of the highest bid went to the pool. I which meant that although the original pool : was £100, it would possibly reach £200 or more when all the horses had been auctioned. ;It is doubtful if there are any "Calcuttas" j nowadays.—Johnny. THOUGHTS FOR TO-DAY. Detachment is a rare virtue, and very few people find it lovable, either in themselves or in others.—D. L. Savers. I _ To everything there is a season, and a I time to every purpose under the heaven.— i Ecclesiastea.