THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXVIII, Issue 156, 3 July 1937, Page 8

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MEN ABOUT TOWN.)

Tlie death of Mr. Saul Solomon, K.C.. at Dunedin removes all hut one of the ten eminent members of the legal profession who were appointi-d Kind's ONLY ONE LEFT. 'annuel when that oHioe was inaugurated in New Zealand in 1!!07. The appointees «ere Dr. J. O. Findlay (then Atiorney-* leneral I. Mi-r-rs. T. I. .Toynf. Martin (liapman. .1. A. Tide. F. | 11. I). Bell. .J. 11. (later a judre). Saui Solomon. T. W. Stringer. ('. P. Skerrett 'later Chief .Tnstiee) and 1". F. Haimie. Sir 'Walter Stringer, now a retired Supreme Court judge, alone survives.—T.L.M. As every lawyer knows, the p-aetiee of plaeinp one's client in the witne-- box i> - i't fraught with danper. Once there, he m.iy become the subject of the "DOUBLE" LIFE, mo-t personal ijuei-ti >"is from the opj.o-iiip for."-. Such questions in many .-a-es the f.u» that the perfectly iimoccn t-h m>k ing witm--pos-<><sps. fipura t i vcly sjieakinp. an <-si ntcheoi: not entirely without blemi-h. On oik- oc.-at-ion a certain legal luminary. pleading tlie can-c of a gentleman charged with a petty brea.-h of the law. took tlie ri-k. To hi- horror, th' man admitted to tlie police ollicer cr.>— examining that he had been eomictcd before. "On what charge?" a<-ked the ma j i-t rat e•'lSookmaking." came t lie ab.n-linl leply. II:coiinscl. emittinir an audible -ii'h of r-lief, chimed in, "(lood gracious me! That's not a conviction. It's a de<-oration."—H.C.H. The story of the barber who allowed liieustomers "tuppence" per cut each time he got under the skin recalls the experience of another toiisorial arti-t THE HAIR CUT. who start<-d a small biii-i----nc-s in a wayback township. K.\ce[)t for week-ends, when the hermits from the outback came in to pi:reha-e a few groceries, there was not much doinz. and the few who did drop in for a trim ami a shav should really have patronised a -iiearinir siie<l. The barber did not mind blunting hi< r-ci--ors when removing a fleece containing a little hay. or a few tree leave-, but lie felt that the game was being overplayed when one dav a bewliiskerod individual with a head of liair which eoul<l have given a vear's st.art to that of any world-famous musician, dropped into the chair for fifteenpenee worth. However, there was nothing for it but to get on with the job. The barber l>e7,in as ti-ual. He picked up a comb to straighten the hair out a little. He tried to draw the comb through, but i' was no good. Every half-inch or so the hair appeared to be reinforced with bitumen or some similar substance. The possibility of the man in the chair calling annuallv was not encouraging. "You have a wonderful growth of hair, sir." -aid tlie barber. "If you were to give it an occasional shampoo and comb it every day it would be the envv of the \n omen folk. "Fh?* the cu-tomer. "Comb it every day? Xot on your life. 1 only eomlis it once a week now. an' it nearly pulls me blooniln' head orf."—Johnny. Touchstone writes: ,f To settle a tde-eart argument." a correspondent asks whether there is any difference between drunk and intoxicated in connection with motorMEALY MOUTHED, ing offences. There is not the slightest ditferen. e. Drunk means under the influence of intoxicating li.juor to such an extent as t.-> have lost the normal control of one's bodily and mental faculiitvi. Intoxieaf e<l means u:ade drunk. The Legislature ha- fre«|Urii:]y preat stupidity, or a very poor opinion of th rt jieople's intelligence, in the wording <>f statutes. This is a case in point. Magistrates know that drunk and intoxicated mean the s ;l nie Thing— but they often find that witnesses will swear that a man was intoxicated when they would flatly refuse to say he was drunk. To m.-.ke the police net finer in the ca = e of road the Legislature varie<l the old term "drunk in charge" to "intoxicated in charge."' At least, that is the only explanation anvbodv can give for the change- A similar difliVnl-y. also created by the ignorance, in this case, of jurors, moved Parliament to create a newcrime—or rather to give a new name to the old crime of manslaughter. It was found that jurors would not convict for manslaughter nnder that name, so now we have the euphemism, "causing death.*' Tlie world -1becoming too mealy-mouthed, and even Filmland is affected, though not to the extent of pandering, to it officially. A judge in Knsl.ir.d recently referred to the'matter when a witne--. instead of using the word "dust cart."' as the judge called it. persisted in saying "freighter." "We talk so delicately now." commented the jndge. "Tliere is no such thing as n workhouse; it is an institution. There is no such person ha warder; he is & prison officer; and there is no ctich thing ag a lunatic a-y I,im We do not call a spade a spade nowadays." The judges instances could be multiplied. Superior persons for a long time insisted on calling a lift an elevator, birt sanity has prevailed. Gutter is another word that some pgreoiw hate t-o utter, calling it a side-channel. WTiat they would substitute for iruttcrsnipc or putter-Press t is hard to imagine The Mohalca viaduct lias been completed, and W airoa has had a grand and glorious day of jubilation. Surely (but not at all slowly now) the gap? in our railTRAINS. ways are bein;r fille<l un. and we will soon be without any odd lengths of line that run to nowhere and end in the never-never. All of which is good for our national pride, though, if the critics be given credence, it is not going to be so good for the national pocket, for the trloomy ones predict that these lines that are being completed will never pav. That prediction didn t stop Wairoa from celebrating, and it won't stop Oishorne and Kaikoura from celebrating when their bi:r davs arrive. The railways are not just lettincr the .Teremiaiis sing their gloomy anthems without doinu t something about it. Little by little the competing road services are being eliminated, and it may well be that by the time that all these lines are completed the serious competition bv road -will be practically nil. Tt. may tv»!1 V-» that those who insist on sendincr good- bv motor lorry will have to conform to a sn_r j gestion made recently in England. This was that loaded motor lorries should be run on to special railway trucks and conveyed bv train to their points of des'ination. There they could be run off the truck airain and liberated to complete the delivery. The suggestion has .a double purpose —to restrict the motor transport with rail and to eliminate the double handling of the goods. The ide i is new only so far as it affects motor vehicles. In tlio dim long ago. when railways were s(i;; ■ new in England, the forerunner of the -nolo vehicle—the private carriage—could be loaded on the train. The ]>e. ;.le who owned the car- . riages objected to mixing with the common ' herd in tlie railway varria^ot 2 . .m<l r> ■. t > vr- • ' their susceptibilities, special trucks were : ro- ' vided on which the carriages could ?«■ loaded The aristocratic carriage owner then tnoell .1 in the seclusion of his own carriage. It wa« quite cheap, too. for the South-lla<-tern Failway announced that people travelling in this manner would be charged second-class fare. The railways will carry your motor car for you to-day. but they don't charge second-elac-s fare, and they won't let vou remain in voucar.—BON". ANSWER TO INQUIRER. To "J.P." ami the World the an-wcr is j goods worth ill 10/ and x:i '.U. in ca-h. I