THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXVIII, Issue 130, 3 June 1937, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MEN ABOUT TOWN.) On Canton Island's coral strand, where la/ilv the palm frond dips, there sits a scientific* band, all bent on watching the eclipse. The Yanks are doing N.Z. WILL tilings in style, with inBE THERE, struments most up to date; electric gadgets by the mile will do the watching while they wait; hut in this colourful event New Zealand, ton. must have its share, so we have similarly sent a scientific group to stare. No laboursaving schemes have they to help to move the tele-scope, so while the leader shouts "Belay!" the ie-1 will haul it with a rope. By far more pleasant is the lot of those from Harvard and from "Sale: but they will find it not so hot if their electric power should fail; so if by chance it comes to pass that such misfortune should be met. New Zealand's bits of smoky ulass mav save the situation yet.—Sinbad. Don't think for the moment the writer i-m"t patriotic. Patriotism coupled with rheumatism simply surges through his bones. But patriotism, like everyGETTING IN thing else, can be a little EARLY, inconvenient at times. Why, in the name of all thai i-s good, have theatrical proprietors, or at hast many of them, changed the old order of having (he orchestra or even a gramophone record render a couple of bars of the National Anthem at the end of the show, and now require the audience to stand up at curtain ri-e ami before the real entertainment begins? I.a-t Friday evening the writer did a little shopping, and rather than parade Queen Street witli parcels under each arm dropped into a pictnreliouse accompanied by the better half, who. by the way. had made the purchases, hut had handed them over to yours truly to look after —another Jiggs. Once in the theatre we—the wife and T —exhibited a semi-sort of interest in the advertisements, and then the lights went out. Immediately a gramophone began to churn out the National Anthem, and the audience stood Well, all except mother. You see. she had to gather up her handlvag, and a few parcels which she had been ftiursing on her lap, and by the time she had,spilled a few on the floor and retrieved them the gramophone had ceased playing, and she had to place them all back on her lap again. She Kays that had the old order prevailed and the National Anthem been played at the conclusion of the entertainment she could have left just before the close —as so many do.— J oh nil v.

"Touchstone" writes: "Can you teTl me tlio meaning and origin of Pontius Pilate's bodyguard, and in what sense it is used?" asks "C.A.V." The name. TRADITION or title, is rarely heard DIES HARD, nowadays, but it has long been borne by the Royal Scots Regiment, one of whose officers was once heard to boast that if they had been on guard at the Sepulchre they would not have slept at th«*r posts. This story recalls ilip tradition that is mentioned in the Gospel of St. Matthew. With Pilate's permission, a watch was i=et at the Sepulchre, for fear that the disciples mijrht come by night and steal the body of Christ away as proof of the fulfilment of prophecy regarding the Resurrection. St. Matthew says that when the watch reported the supernatural manner in which the stone was rolled back from the door of the Sepulchre the chief priests and the elders gave them "large money" to say that the disciples had stolen the body while they slept. "And this saying," ho added, '"is commonly reported among the Jews until this day." Tlio other day when a jury found a man not guilty on a charge of assaulting a little girl the judge, after discharging the prisoner, called the girl and said, "I THE PROCEEDS, just want to tell you there is one man in this Court who believes you." Recalls the ease wherein a man was charged with breaking and entering and theft, and who faced a dozen of his fellow inen in the Auckland Supreme Court, the dozen being seated in comfort, the accused, of course, having to stand. It was alleged that the accused, who, by the way, had a "list.'' and had fallen from the path of righteousness so many times that his life must have been almost a series of somersaults, had broken into a country store, served himself, and gone away without leaving his name, address or the money to pay for the goods, hence his appearance in Court- Motherless and moneyless, solitude provided by four walls of a State apartment at Mount Eden was more than an outside bet, but his cotmsel talked to the jury, talked to them so well that they found him not guilty. And his fee — the goods which had been found in the possession of the accused. These mostly comprised tins of tobacco, and as tobacco is better than nothing, "Costs" took charge of them. And in the quiet of his office, he opened one. It was full of sawdust! So were the others. They were merely masquerading as tins of 'liacca, and had been specially got up for window dressing.—Johnny. Can anybody tell me what has happened to the Government stroke? I know a lot of smart Alecs who think they know, but what I do know is that vou can't SERVICE. find it in the Government service. Once upon a time I used to think that the Public Works Department provided the best example of slow motion that we had in the country, but since the lion. Bob Semple succeeded' in making his meaning quite clear there is action, and plenty of it, in a rejuvenated P.W.D. But for honest-to-goodness day-long slogging, with each day like every other day, only occasionally . a bit harder, commend me" to the Tost Office. It seems to be the jol> of the Post Cilice to collect the money for nearlv all the other Departments as well as the little that the Post Office manages to get for itselfThe Christmas rush is perhaps the only one Where the Post Office itself is doing anything like a large part of the dividend"collecting. For the rest of the time it is raking in the r-hekels for the Consolidated Fund, for the rnemployment Fund, for the Highways Fund and for nearly all the other funds which go to make up the strange assortments of items that appear in the national accounts. There never seems to be any let up. and that portion of the Post Office primarily concerned with this perennial rush seems to'be always understaffed. If you have occasion to go alonsr occasionally and watch these lads maintaining a two-furlong gait throughout the long, long day. you will find it hard to escape the conclusion that they are among the world's miracles when it comes to keeping the temper. If I had to work at that speed, and at the same time answer all the fool questions they have to answer, and correct all the fool mislakes they have to correct, I would get the | sack for throwing things at taxpayers. f heard one woman in the queue howling about her motor car. '"It has been out there ten minutes now." she wailed. "I will be getting into trouble."' There was a sort of floorwalker Johnnie whose job seemed to be to sort the people out to best advantage. "Just lend me your key. madame," said he, "and I'll no and move it for you." Atid he did it. too, and was back with the key in a jtflV. They are great fellows, these P. and T. people.—B.O"S T . TRY IT YOURSELF. Put down the number of your house. 'Double it and add 5. Multiply by 50. Add your age. Add 36.5. Subtract 615. Result: The number of your house in front of vour I age,—WJILE.