THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LVXIII, Issue 53, 4 March 1937, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MEN ABOUT TOWN.)

"Touchstone" writes: A question is asked whether the word "skun" is permissible. No, it is mere slang, used by boys in regard to losses at marble*!, and "SKUN." (M>ssrl>ly »«ed by rabbit merchant* in place of skinned. Some of these participle* are confuting. Sling and slung are (rood, but slang (in reference to throwing) is an outlaw. Yet slink, slunk and slank are all tfood. "Inquirer" wishes to have the pronunciation of ammoniacal. Jt is amnion-eyc-ai-al, with the ritriwf) on tlie "eye"' sound. It is similar to deiiioniitcal.

Dear M.A.T., —Bull* have strange j>ri>judices. They will swallow a camel and strain at a gnat. For some time past a surveyor has been using his MR. BULL theodolite in a paddock OBJECTS, at Orakei in which a bull

is grazing. The animal was apparently very d«>eile and seemed more concerned in cropping the succulent grass than in paying any attention to the surveyor. But one day lant week the surveyor left his theodolite in position and went out of the paddock. Mr. Bull evidently classified the instrument as a three-legged man watching him. He glared savagely and then with bead down charged. What the instrument looked like after Mr. Bull had finished with it can he left to the imagination.—H.M.

Think (if tin . Island* —the bin* rolling Pacifit —siih -tropical nights—scented trees —a big round moon —and sweet voices singing haunting native melodies. SHATTERED .lust think of thone and IDYLL. remember the island idylls of Beatrice (irimehaw and H. de Yere Xtarpoole, then nigh with me over this note from Tonga: "We can now boast two picture theatres in Nukualofa. A talkie machine lias been installed in both and the competition is keen lietween the two rivals. It is a great novelty for the Tongans, and of a Saturday night lorry loads of natives. decked out in their Sunday l>est, arrive from all part* of the country to spend their week's wages on picture*, sweets, peanuts and ice cream."' Ah, wilderness!—Kea.

On a recent Ministerial tour to a district not very far from here it was the intention of the party to lunch at a certain hostelry, end the Minister inHOIST WITH HIS stmeted his secretary to OWN PETARD. telephone the manager, notifying him of their advent and tiimHtijr out the hour when lunch waw served. It was ascertained that lunch wa« "on'' from noon till 2 p.m. It so happened that business detained them and they arrived at 2.30 p.m. The secretary politely interviewed the manager and apologised for their late arrival. "Sot at all, not at all! It is quite all right. We have everything- ready— proud to have your august patronage. It's a lovely day."' etc. And so to lunch. After the repast the manager was approached for the bill. He sat down at hie desk, made out the account, and added to the usual tariff "Time and a half overtime for cooks, kitchen hands, bar porter and waitresses."' The secretary received a jolt, but the Minister, standing by, said: "Quite right, Mr. Landlord." And the full account wa* paid. This is probably the only occasion poor Boniface has had a chance of "passing the buck." which, in this instance, in slang for "passing on the increased cost of running a pub."'—A.LJ).

Our civilisation i< full of lncffn*te<»TiHes. Perhaps that is why it continues to survive. It is so absurdly and ludicrously inconsistent. whatever way it is reSTAUNCH TO garded. that its victims. THE SABBATH, instead of getting annoyed and [Milli iifj it to pieces and rebuilding it properly, jnst sit down and launch every time they think of it. Here is one of the minor absurdities of the difference between principle and practice. A trader on Nine Island writes to tell us that on her last trip the New Zealand Covernment motor «hip Maiii I'oiimre arrived then , on Sunday. Over "21MMI cases of Ikuiianar. were on the beach ready to be loaded aboard her f<ir New Zealand. But tlie Nine Islander* are Christians and refused to violate the Sabbath by loading the fruit on tlmt day. The skipper of the Muni Pomare. running to schedule, would not wait until the morrow. The vessel weighed M/lehor and sailed for New Zealand, leaving the 2<M)O odd cases of bananas to lie thrown away, for no one on the island wanted them, though no doubt they would have been welcome in the Dominion. Quaint, isn't it? We subscribe to funds to send missionaries to teach these |K»ople Christianity and they are penalised to the extent of the value of 20(»0 cases of banana* because they live up to what wo have tauzht them. It's their own responsibility, of course, for being Christians so seriously. With our centimes of Christian teaching behind Ui». we can find means of

"getting round" Biblical law when it is expedient to do so. How many communities in this most Christian Dominion would sacrifice the value of 2000 odd cases of bananas rather than violate the Sabbath? —T.M.

The S.P.C.A. is an institution to be admired and one which probably doe« not receive the full support it merit*. A recent Eii'.'lwh visitor was justiFISH STORY. tiably horrified at the treatment meted out to some of our sheep dogs. Cruelty to animals is unfortunately an offence difficult to detect. It is perpetrated in most cases by men. but on rare occasions women have shown almost inhuman heart lessness. In a certain house there resided two elderly spinsters whose menace, apart from the inevitable cut*, boasted a bowl of goldfish. (»ne day an admiring visitor asked her hostesses whether the fish ever gave any trouble. "I must confess," said one of their proprietresses, "that on occasions they do become a little fractious, but in such cases we simply open a tin of sardines in front of their Ixiwl —just to show them what can happen to naughty goldlish."—B.t'.H. THAT UNEASY FEELING. The Pa paklira Town Board ha* decided to refrain from decorating the town with flags, ebc, during the Coronation. When this news reaches London we can expect things to happen. Although the board's action will protMtbly not cause an actual postponement of the Coronation ceremony, it will doubtless leave a feeling of uneasiness in diplomatic circles. To think that sights of London lights And partisans in horde*. And men who've toiled should all be .spoiled By municipal boards! With Ongarue banners high And Ohakune flagged, His Majesty will query "Why Has Papakura lagged ?" And Baldwin in his bitterness Will have a loner harangue With Chamberlain and Halifax And even Doctor Lang. And yet we hope that, pageantry And ceremony through. The crowd will sing "CJod Save the King." And Papakura, too. —B.C.H. '