THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXVIII, Issue 45, 23 February 1937, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MEN ABOUT TOWN.)

Contrary to the cynic's remark, doctors do not always bury their mistakes. Quite a few of their little errors in diagnosis remain alwive ground to mock ERRORS IN them. Old Wim Lung, for DIAGNOSIS, instance. a suburban laundryman. still stands grinning behind his counter to re-mind us that once upon a time a doctor treated him for several weeks for yellow jaundice before realising that he was a Chinaman. At least that is the story.—l.M. The visiting Australian surf men, and, indeed, our local lads as well, are fine specimens of healthy young humanity. The work entails prolonged and THE CHILD MIND, vigorous training. As the American would nay. "These guys are tough." Apparently this opinion in not shared by all generations, for on Milford Beach on Saturday afternoon when a huge bronzed surfmaii was adjusting a belt about his chest, a small child said, "Look, mummy. That man is wearing his waterwings."—BjC.H.

THE WOOLGROWER'S ALPHABET. A is for Auction —here's wool by the bale; B for the Buyers who boost up the sale. C for the Cheques that the sheepfarmers share, D for the Diamonds their daughters wi'l wear. E for the Ewes on the fair countryside. F for the Fleeces they kindly provide. G for the Oermans. known often to buy; H is for Ha-'f-bred —the prices are high. I is for the Interest (see below under Rent). J for Japan, still on buying intent. K for the Kinsrs shearing ten thousand head: L is the Land tax. their worry and dread. M for a Motor —a new one. the best — N for the Neighbours who must be impressed. O is the Owner —a smile he displays: P for the Pay-out, that brightest of clays. Q is the Quality, of wealth the key; R is the Rent to be cleaned up —maybe. S the Sheep Station, o'er mountain and dale: T are the Tops that fdve tone to the sale. U for the Unions, the manager's woes— V for the Veto they often impose. W for Wages—they're soaring , again; X a mere symbol to signify ten. Y for a Tear beating all others hollow. And Z for our Zeal that there's better to follow. —SINBAD. Can any of you Men About Town give a ruling on this little point in etiquette? Last night I hopped into the amoker of my home-ward-bound 52-seater, lit PROBLEM IN my pipe, and buried my ETIQUETTE, nose in the "Star." By the time the car reached Grafton Bridge it was well-nigh full. Three ladies got in. One took a seat across the aiele from me—the only one left in the smoking compartment—while the others stood over her and resumed their conversation. "Oh, my dear, there are seats in the other compartment," remarked one of the standing ladies. "Xo, don't go through there." answered her friend. "I want to talk to Maggie. One of these gentlemen will give ue a eeat." At that moment I was folding up my "Star" preparatory to giving one of them mine, but that piece of cool cheek changed my mind for me. T reopened my paper and went on reading. Xone of "these gentlemen" offered' their eeats, and the ladies were still standing when the car reached my stop. Candidly. I did not enjoy that ride. Having been taught from childhood always to give up my seat in tram or bus to a lady, T felt thoroughly uncomfortable morally as well a* physically as they swung their weight against me in'no gentle reminder of my duty. But I think there is a limit to pampering the whim* of such representatives of their eex. Don't you?—l.M. Nothing is more important in the Navy, of course, than "keeping up the old tradition." Even nicknames are fixed by immutable traditions, some of which are TRADITIONAL so ancient that their NICKNAMES, origin is lost, though others are apparently of more recent birth. All Scotsmen are. in* the Xavy. "Jocks," of course, all Irishmen "Mick*." all Welshmen "Taffies." while stokers are "duetmen." bluejackets "flat-feet." cooks "shtehie*." marines "leathernecks ,, and regulating P.O.'s "crushers." But even personal I nicknames are fixed by tradition. Everyone by the name of Martin, for instance, is "Pincher," Collins is "Jumper," and no is Cross; Bennett is alway* "Wiggy," Wright ix "Shiner," Murphy is "Spud" (as he often is ashore). White is "Knocker." Green is ".liniiiiy." Clark is "Xo*»by," Taylor is "Buck," Miller in "Dusty." Walker is "Hookey." Hawkins is "Justice."' Palmer is "Pedlar." Lowe i<» '"Speaky." and Knight i< '"Bopey."' The origins of a few are fairly obvious. The "dusty miller" i<s mentioned in more than one Old Country song; Mr. Justice Hawkins waa a famous iijrnre on the Bench, while the original Pedlar Palmer made a name for himself in tlie ring. So, too, some of the other nicknames may be monument*! to longforgotten worthies. But "Speaky" Lowe sounds like a bright effort of humour on the part of someone in the lower deck, perhaps centuries ago, while "Bogey" Knight doubtless enshrines memories of nursery days. The only apparent reason, however, why Green should be dubbed "Jimmy" is that one of the supplementary *nils that the old clipper ships used to set was known ae a "Jimmy" (or sometimes "Jamie") Green, though perhaps that particular sail wa« invented by a James Green. "Jumper" Cross may. of course, be just "jump across." but why "Jumper" Collins, "Xobby" Clark, and eome of the others? We xhould rather like to know.—l.M. "Touchstone" writes: In every age people have been interested in correct speaking. The diarist Pepys must have been a persuasive speaker, for he wrote as NOTE ON PEPYS. he «|M»ke. and entries in his diary, though unpolished and at times careless as to grammar, Hie virile and clear. On December C, lu«8, I which he entered as 'The Lord's Day," he ; wrote: "Up and with my wife to church, which pleases me mightily. Mr. Mill* made ii lazy sermon on Modes'* nieekneese; and so home, and my wife und I alone to dinner, and then she to read a little book concerning speech in general, a translation late out at French, a most excellent piece as ever I read, proving a soul in man. and all the ways and secrets by which Xature teaches speech in man. which did please me most infinitely to read." One would welcome a reprint of" the little book to-day, if, indeed, it contained "all the ways and secrets" by which Xature teaches speech. But one excellent way may be mentioned. Reading aloud Iβ a preat improve- of one's speech, for it discloses weaknesses of pronunciation and lead* to the dictionary habit. Mrs. Pepys read a great deal to heV husUnd, and as she epoke and read French and English fluently, she must have been of srreat aseistance to him. for he suffered much from poor eyesight. The late Dr. Maclaurin. in his historical and medical essays i n "Poet Mortem." quotes the opinion of *Dr. Gordon Davidson, a well-known ophthalmic surgeon of Sydney that Pepys probably suffered from indo-cychti. the result of BO me toxaemia possibly caused by hie extreme imprudence in catin- and drinking. The church of which Pepys speaks was the parish church of St Olaves, which stands to-dav as it wa* in Pepy* time It contain* a bust of Mrs. Pepys and a table to her memory, in a position from which Pepy* could son them in his pew at the «a« «v2 e fre ?*" O,a '' eV m i™«"'»lr. i is eometimee epoken of as the Crutched Friar's!