THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXVIII, Issue 33, 9 February 1937, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By TUE MEN ABOUT TOWN.) Incredible ae it may seem, the report comes from Xew York that an ardent lover kept vijril in the lobby of an apartment house, seated on an inflated rubTHE SEATS OF her cushion and chained THE FLIGHTY, and padlocked to the radiator. He had vowed not to leave until the young lady residing in the apartment had consented to marry him. This extraordinary action is known as. a "sitdown" strike and offers tremendous scope for further novel strike methods. Ac-cording to the latest news, the lady of his affections promptly married him. We shall now expect to hear of husbands , '"stay-out" and wives" "sit-up"* strikes. However, the feature of the romance which appeals most is the fact that a man who will sit on a rubber cushion for a couple of hours to win a wife will oft be prepared to sit for seven or eight hours on a hard wooden Supreme Court seat until he gets rid of her.—B.t'.H. The sight of one of the regular customers at the .lolly Roger buyinjj a noble array of "rigjrt'is" aroused the curiosity of some of the patrons who knew him. TWO JOKES "Is he going to throw a IN ONE. party?"' asked the gentleman known as Robinson Crusoe. In a confidential whisper the dispenser of "poisons' , informed him that the buyer of "riggers" was getting married that night. "Cri|>es. We must have a lark on this," quoth Crusoe, and. turning, he disappeared through the swinging doors. Within a few minutes (having run all the way to the shop and back) he returned and swiftly distributed handfnls of confetti all round. As the buyer of "riggers" turned to go the air was suddenly full of confetti, cuss words, protests and roars of laughter. Xo one lajghed louder than did Robinson Crusoe, yet he had only one joke to laugh at. while all the rest had two. There wa*. you see. the joke on the man who had confetti poured down his neck, and there was also the joke on Robinson Crusoe, who was the only one in the crowd who did not know that the "riggers'* were merely supplies for a week-end yachting cruise, and that their purchaser was never further from getting married. —I.M.

The oaliled news that a young Melbourne golfer twice holed in one during a round of the Royal Park links, thereby making golf history in the southern ROUND IN 18. hemisphere, is intriguing. There is endless interest in the unusual, particularly in the realm of sport. A cricketer who occasionally hits a series of sixers pets more of the limelight than his steadier but more reliable colleague who "beare the burden and heat of the day" throughout the season, and a boxer who achieves a win by a spectacular knock-out gets a bigger share of publicity than the cleverer man who wins on points. However, we were talking about golf. vSome years ago there used to meet, in the London Prees Club, a coterie of journalist* known as the "Bar Soviet. , ' The name bad nothing to do with the legal profession, but much with the refreshment department, the second word in the title referring to the confraternity of the younger members of the club againet the older and more "reverend signors" who had much to do with club control but who contributed little to current revenue. Some very bright ideas were hatched by members of the soviet, and some of these saw the light of print in well-known journals. One that has not yet been immortalised is worthy of the pen of euch a master of the absurd as H. M. Bateman. It is in similar vein to "The Guardsman Who Dropped Hie Ritle" and "The Umpire Who Confessed He Wasn't Looking." and its title should be "The Man Who Went Round In 18." The scene is the eighteenth green, and the ball, hit from the eighteenth tee. is seen trickling into the hole, before the eyes (like hat pegs) of a typical crowd of club members. The golfer has done every hole in one!—Bouverie.

Following a session of evening pantomimes ns a result of father'* failure to brinu home a kite, there was great jubilation in a suburban home on Saturday when KITE FLYING, he duly delivered the good*. Little Eric was up bright and early on Sunday, and was bound with fond parent in tow for the nearest park before most people had blinked drowsily at the maid with the cup of tea. The kite" and string were run out. and then another performance began—t''ia time with father as the principal turn. He perspired freely a< he raced into the wind, and soon discovered that he hud forgotten most of what lie had ever learned about kite flying. He n* aixuit to give up hopes of ever getting the beastly thing into the air when several juveniles happened along, and hinted that the tail wa< not long enough and lusher ground should l>e sought to catch more breeze. The advice was taken, and ultimately the kite was got aloft. By this time, however, little Eric had lost interest in the proceedings, and had wandered off to round up the sheep in the park, swing on the maypole or attach himself to every other person in the park hut hi« rightful owner. Many passers-by, no d.uibt. wondered at the tastes in recreation of that adult who strained at the string and exercised all his old skill to keep the kite on a -smooth keel." Finally, father realised that many a wandering gaze was turned in his direction, and with haste lie brought the "blimp" to a perfect threepoint landing, gathered in the slack, rounded up his offspring, and set out for home. He has determined that his three-year-old will have to master the art of kite flyiivr before he again ventures into that domain, but. who knows, the urge of his youth may yet get the better of him. providing little Eric remains on hand to give him that little Kit of moral support so necessary when adults indulge in juvenile pastimes.—K.T.

TliPic i< a isoinptlilii/ aliout flip "uinhlo lianana—whether it be proiioiiiK-exl "haua-na" nr "haii-nan-a"- that upt-s there. Song writer* have written things aboutBANANA "OIL." it whii-h no -.•lf.ro^.ivtiii;.' fruit "onld lik»> tn have written about it. and crooners, jiroaners. liot-inaniinas. yixleller*. bliH's-sinjrers an<l jiisj ••radio •u»r*<oiM!itii>«" lia%p relatoil in turn the fact that "Yes. \V ( > Have Xo Bananas."• and have delved deeii intti anatoinical details ciincerMinp curvature, the pallor of it- skin, ami even, in t] )( . latent incasiire. reoor<le<l tlu-ir deep attachinent to the fruit "because it ha* no lump*."" It ha* even crept into idiomatic American a< the celebrated "banana oil"—of which thi< paragraph is composed. Afl this iiu»oli<-ite<] publicity has assisted in placinsj the staple of the Island menu in a foremost place on the public palate—it has become the basin of the fruit salad and the core of the fritter. Many a portly politician dipped into prominence on its skin, and held his place by a judicious use of it* celebrated "oil." With characteristic , persistence it has dodged the "grafter." and remains to thi< day as the fiinple. dijrnirk«d. crooked banana by the dozen, the ea<ie. the Inincli or the pound. As efforts to control its substance have failed, we now seek to control its price. The Government, we are informed, "feels that it should !><• possible to distribute Itananas at prices which, while not altogether avoiding fluctuations, will eliminate the extreme variations that have occurred during the past years." Some of the retailers answer that politely with a hint that I the control of its price should be left to the man who can control its curve. "Have yon ever seen a straight Itanana?' , they ask (sic). It rteeius that the banana will always be a fruitful caiir-e for controversy.—Kea.