PODSON'S ERGOPROREPTIBLE.

Auckland Star, Volume LXVIII, Issue 23, 28 January 1937, Page 15

PODSON'S ERGOPROREPTIBLE.

(By JOHN HENDRICK.)

SORRY to see old Podson has tripped -up at last. But it must be some comfort to him that he got so far 4 e nn r £ o S!S bU6t " " CITY FINANCIER S T ED. MANY SMALL INVESTORS RAINED." That at least is big shooting. . ° I can remember old Podson when it would have been merely "Clever bwindle Unmaeked." I can remember him when it was the three-card trick on a camp stool at street corners, and the papers wouldn't have noticed his arrest at all. When I first met him I was a youn" reporter; There was a constable not tar behind me as I came along Holborn. A fellow who was standing on .1 soapbox and offering a email crowd sealed envelopes for sixpence shut up shop when he spotted the constable and cleared off. I followed him into the Queen of Hearts." "Of course, I hoped to get some kind of copy from him, a funny on life or what not. I had no luck, because even then Podson'e talk was well informed and wide in range; he wae a man of the world, not of the street corners on which he operated.

For some reason he took to me. Used to turn up unexpectedly at the offices of my paper. Sometimes I went with him as '.'feed" on one of his ramps, when the fun 6eemed worth the risk. And to-day I warm myself in a little reflected glory. Wae I not Podson's aide in the first operation that lifted him into the worth-while class; the first time he took five figures in one coup?

It was at the end of 1915, before the tanks appeared, when the war authorities were looking round feverishly for new weapon*. Podson, of course, escaped active eervice. I, unhappily, at the time, did not need to escape it; my poor physique exempted

Was that why Poison used me so much—because I looked as if no'trickster would sink so low as to trick me—too easy altogether? Anyway, it certainly was the reason why he chose me to be the inventor of Podson's Edgoproreptible. -1

It was just like his shrewdness. Looking himself like a successful bookie, he couldn't take the part. So he made me the inventor, himself the manager, the entrepreneur; the business man protecting the childlike geniue.

The two of us made a marvellous team, just what the War Developments Office would expect. Oh, yes; the War Developments Office—Podson'e always aimed high. It's the big bluff which gete by.

Podson didn't give me any warning; *he didn't let me into the scheme. That was his way. Just a wire saying "Eaetington to-morrow eight twenty from Victoria." I realised afterwards he hed good natural reasons for choosing that day.

Podson met me at the train. He had somehow got the use of a vast old Vauxhall car, in which he took me to his hotel, a splendiferous one on the front.

He didn't waste time or breath on instructions. Just told me to show no surprise, whatever happened; to answer all questions unhesitatingly with whatever came into my head; to keep a clouded brow and an absent-minded manner. Presently Podson rose, announced that the officers' train was due in and told me he would pick me up on the way out.

Half an hour later the Vauxhall came back. To my surprise (which I did not show) five beefy staff-officers, one of them evidently a really "big pot," got out and came into the hotel. v I sat busy at the table in the lounge window, scribbling figures on a piece of hotel paper.

Podson introduced me. I grinned ehort-sightedly and doubles were ordered all round. *•

I won't weary you with Podson's palaver, how he tactfully indicated his knowledge of their need of a new weapon to shake up the Hun and keep the public quiet, how he praised my qualifications as an engineer, but a modest fellow; how he trusted their judgment as practical men, and that was why he had refused to talk business until they had consented to come and see a pratical demonstration.

When he began to talk about the actual form of the invention I pricked up my ears. Like the good salesman he was. Podson put the idea as a hypothetical case.

"Suppose one day when the sun rises your observers spot, five miles away behind the enemy's lines, an unoffensive looking kind of pillbox; no , gunfire coming from it, no sign of ugly purpose. .T118*: sitting there pat. If you've woken ill-tempered, you might order a gun or two on to it. No direct hits. Well, whv bother?

"Next day the thing's etill there. Eor a fortnight" it's still there, part of the landscape. You get used to it. It's not till a week later that one niorniii™. when you look for the familiar old tump, you get a sort of an idea that its come a bit nearer. Absurd, of course, unless it's a new one. and the old one's been pulled down. Must be the tiredness of your eyes deceiving you.

"Next day it looks e bit nearer again, and next, and next. You get used to it looking a bit nearer every day. You even ioke about it—call it the 'Pillbox on Wheels.'

"If you only knew it. that's hist what it is; but you won't believe it because it moves so slowlv. so frightfully little eafli day. that it j"«t doesn't seem worth while: you don't believe anyone would have the patience to work such a thin" , And. anvway. vmi can't see anv wheels."

Podson fame to the surface at this point. "D'you take the idea, gentlemen? Before the Bo*cli knows whore he is a row of uiy erjjuproreptibles. widely epaced, have come right up behind our own front line. You've only

(SHORT STORY.)

got to open the gunports and there you are. Imperceptible motion is the principle. That's why 1 call it the Ergoproreptible—does its work by creepi'ii" forward. - D "Air observation, did you say, major? Well, of course, as yoii know, if the things properly camouflaged it won't show seriously from the air, except the shadow. "How do we get over that? Very simply. There's a powerful searchlight running on v a rail .round the top; we shine it where the shadow would fall; light up the ground there just as strong as the sun does the rest of the landscape; no shadow to be seen. "But, gentlemen, if you've any more objections, why not keep them till you've seen the machine itself—or we shan't be back in time for lunch?" By now I was as eager to see what Podson had got as any of the brass hats; more so, because no doubt they had to view a lot of funny creations in the course of their duty. Wβ piled into the Vauxhall, and Podson drove us about eight miles out of the town. He turned down a lane which simply petered out in shingle: not far away over "the bank we heard.

the shift of the 6 ea. It might have been pretty dismal out on the eh ingle in the pouring rain; but the others already had much pood whisky inside them, and I was excited (I hope T didn't show it) ; so we clambered quite quickly up to the ton of tlie bank. There we halted and looked down on Podson's Ergoproreptible. Nothing else, was in eight except some eea birds', and the sea's edge itself churning a few yards away. The thing was about 40 foot high, circular, shaped much like a sand-castle. The skirt of it came right down to the shingle. Its skin, gleaming with the rain, was [tainted with camouflage, in the gaudy way we knew so well at that time. From a couple of equare ports towards the top the mouths of gnus protruded. There was a lamp mounted on the top lip. as Podson had told Uβ. Wβ stood and looked at it, each with his own thought* At last the "Big Pot" spoke. "Can we go inside?" "Well," said Podson, "I hadn't meant to take, you in at all; and I'm afraid I can't let you see the engine-room or the gun tower yet, but I suppose there's no reason why you shouldn't see the rest-chamber—though it's not furnished yet —is there, Rotham?" 1 looked up vaguely. "No, I suppose not." Podson gave me a straight look. He miKt have known my guts were tying themselves into knots with curiosity. Anyway, we scrambled up an iron ladder into a chilly kind of room in the middle of the thing; just a floor, circular canted wall," and a few slits lotting in the light. We climbed down again. "Seems all right," said the "Big Pot." "You can leave the equipment of that part to us. We know what the men want." "Well," said Podson, "we can't stand here in the rain and wait till you cen notice that file's moved. She goes too slowly for that. Tell you what. I'll set her full speed, and leave her. We'll come back after lunch. She'll have made about ten yards then." "Very well," said the "Big Pot." Going back in the car the party were silent. I expect the soldiers had a lot to say to each other, but they couldn't very well go into the matter in front of 1110 (one more good mark for Podson's plan). And overt lunch, being officers and gentlemen, of course, they didn't talk shop. In fact, they didn't"talk much at all. On such a cold, wet day it would have hurt my conscience to keep men hungry; but Podson wanted the drink to take full effect, and it did. We ran through a fine gamut of wines; the meal had plenty of courses, but the helpings were very small. When lunch was over the soldiers still didn't talk much, but you could see by their occasional pointless smiles they were prepared to take a fairly rosy view of l:«fe and work. About 3 o'clock Podson piled 113 all into the car again. Again we tramped over the shingle and halted on the last ridge. , There was no doubt about it. The 'Ergoproreptible was a good ten yards farther away from the line where the sluggish grey sea lapped the shingle. The soldiers just looked at each other and nodded. They didn't bother to go down to the thing egain. They just stood and let the idea sink in. Only the "Big Pot" spoke. "How much do you want to. carry on with your work and perfect the thing?" "Twenty thousand would help," said Podson. "I think you'll get it,*' said the "Big Pot." • And we turned back to the car. • • • • Then I made my first and only blunder. Luckily the soldiers were just too far ahead to hear through the rain. "Aren't you going to switch it off?" I asked Podson. "Switch what off?" he said. "The—er—Ergoproreptible." Podsbn stared at me. "There isn't anything to switch off."

"But the mechanism," I said, "the e'ngine. Tie thing moves, there must be something. Why we all know it was a good ten yards * farther away from the sea when we came back."

"Oh. no it wasn't," said Podson, "the sea was ten yards farther away from the Srgoproreptible.

"And why couldn't the tide ebb a few yards and leave a perfectly sound Martello Tower high and drv." even if it is painted like a mandrill?"

we pot back to tlie Vauxhall I notiVcd for the first time that one of the headlamps was lni^irijr.

That was just like Pod-ion; never one co waste money—his own, I mean.