THE EDITOR SUGGESTS.

Auckland Star, Volume LXVII, Issue 207, 2 September 1936, Page 20

THE EDITOR SUGGESTS.

MONICA NAUGHTON.—You do not make the allegory clear throughout your story. It is a theme that is often treated, and story of this kind needs plenty of colourful and original imagery to make it interesting. There are several good passages in "Unto the Hills." RAYMA PHILLPOTTS.—When you are older, Rayma, you will be able to make your stories more descriptive. Do not state merely the bare facts. You could have improved your story by giving some description of the princess, her father and the forest. I. HEALY.—Quite a well-told story, but not good enough to be published. I do not think that a puppy would sit 011 a plate for any length of time. Avoid describing such improbable events.

RUBY RIDDIFORD.—In "The Quest of Inspiration," Ruby, you have attempted a subject too difficult for you to handle. Your sentences are too long and laboured. Although external circumstances do aid and engender inspiration, a great soul can lift itself out of {Hid, above them. You have only to study the loves of a few great men and women to realise this.

'F.v B. SMITH.—In writing "Sky Demons" you are tackling a subject about which you know very little. A writer, to be convincing, must be familiar with the things he describes. •Your work shows too strongly the influence of the exaggerated "thriller" story. JOYCE SMITH. — Both your short essays are rather vague, Joyce. Try to develop a -more definite style, and avoid such exaggerated expressions as "the antic of the foaming sea to reach its goal of a lofty range of busli-clad hills." Polar exploration is far too wide a subject; to treat in so short an essay as yours. PEARL BLACK.—"The Greeny Lizard" is a good little story, Pearl, and will be printed. The common ground lizards of New Zealand are brown. The green and grey varieties are tree lizards and do not appear in the open. IVY BLACK.—"The Story of an Escape" is too short, Ivy. Those were stirring times, and a very rousing and exciting story could be written about them. MARCIA CAMPBELL.—Your method of telling the story about the is quite good. Certain parts could be expanded to advantage. The romantic ending is too * sudden. "Fireside Thoughts" is too exaggerated. There is no one still living who was a young and vigorous man in the early days of New Zealand settlement. BETTY TURNER. — "Ambition" is quite amusing and will be published. Your other story is not so good. Tales of stupid mistakes are decidely monotonous.

' BETTY CiOODRICK. — Your little story is too matter of fact for a fairytale. You should luive made it more fanciful. YVONNE FRANET.—An interesting story but not good enough for publication. Your work should improve. When sending in contributions for the paper write on one side of the paper only. KEITH WALKER.—You have not used "as dignified expressions as you can get" in your story, Keith. Your work is still C grade, but I am sure you can do much better than this. You have attained a fairly fluent style, and would do well to write your stories in the third person.